Hey all!
I'm struggling with something. Since I've been diagnosed my Dad & my partner of 10 years have largely left me to get on with it. That is how I like it and I don't want to be dragging Crohn's up all the time. I go to the appointments, I take the meds. If they work then great, if not then that sucks and we'll move on to the next thing. I have severe inflammation and by some miracle I've been able to work throughout, despite times where I haven't eaten for days and feel like I'm going to pass out.
However my mother is driving me crazy!! She never really grasped how poorly I was leading up to being diagnosed which is largely my fault as I tried to hide it. However since I've had a diagnosis she's driving me crazy. I think it's misplaced guilt but I really can't cope with it for much longer.
First of all she was convinced that she also had Crohn's despite being in her 50's and never feeling bad enough to go and get it checked. When I pointed this out to her she said she would never be able to cope with a colonoscopy. I pointed out that I used to feel the same until I got so ill that nothing like that mattered anymore.
Then she became obsessed with what I was eating and it what quantities. In the end I had to ask her to back off as I was doing my best and she was putting a lot of extra stress on me with this. Not even 2 days later she demanded to know what i had eaten and before I had even started telling her she was telling me off for 'not eating enough.' I got so annoyed that I took the toast I was buttering, (my only food of the day so far) and threw it in the bin.
There's been much much more which has chipped away at me over the last few months, but then tonight she casually told me I shouldn't be eating celery, sweet corn and a couple of other things which I can't remember now as I was so incensed at the time. I snapped at her, and now I feel guilty.
I told her I was the one with the disease and just because her hairdressers husband with Crohn's has issues with those foods doesn't mean that I do. I've done exclusion diets and food diaries etc. The only thing that seems to upset me is coffee.
Granted I don't tell her these things but only because I know it leads to unsolicited and misinformed advice. I know she means well of course I do, but she's completely tactless sometimes. I feel like she's constantly asking me why I don't want children (short answer is I would never cope and I don't like them anyway) and I've heard her telling a friend going through IVF treatment that she just needs to relax and she'll get pregnant. I was absolutely cringing.
I feel like trying to talk to her about this will just open a can of worms and she will get defensive and upset. I know she's trying to help and I haven't exactly made it easier by putting a brave face on things. My Dad is now asking me questions which I know is because she's told him too as he has never asked me about appointments etc before.
They seem to think a voicemail from the secretary at the GP changing my appointment time is massive cause for concern, not realising I'm in the doctors almost weekly for various blood tests etc.
I think I've tried to downplay a lot of this because I have a brother with fairly serious mental health problems who has pretty much taken up all their time and maxed out their stress levels for the last 10 years. I didn't want to contribute to that with my own problems too, but now it seems like my trying to shield them a bit is backfiring.
Any advice for me? I'm sorry everyone, I don't know what I did without this forum!! I'm at my wits end! Trying to hide how debilitating this can be has not been easy and I'm reluctant to now admit I've been struggling for fear that I won't be left alone!
Thanks in advance!
I'm struggling with something. Since I've been diagnosed my Dad & my partner of 10 years have largely left me to get on with it. That is how I like it and I don't want to be dragging Crohn's up all the time. I go to the appointments, I take the meds. If they work then great, if not then that sucks and we'll move on to the next thing. I have severe inflammation and by some miracle I've been able to work throughout, despite times where I haven't eaten for days and feel like I'm going to pass out.
However my mother is driving me crazy!! She never really grasped how poorly I was leading up to being diagnosed which is largely my fault as I tried to hide it. However since I've had a diagnosis she's driving me crazy. I think it's misplaced guilt but I really can't cope with it for much longer.
First of all she was convinced that she also had Crohn's despite being in her 50's and never feeling bad enough to go and get it checked. When I pointed this out to her she said she would never be able to cope with a colonoscopy. I pointed out that I used to feel the same until I got so ill that nothing like that mattered anymore.
Then she became obsessed with what I was eating and it what quantities. In the end I had to ask her to back off as I was doing my best and she was putting a lot of extra stress on me with this. Not even 2 days later she demanded to know what i had eaten and before I had even started telling her she was telling me off for 'not eating enough.' I got so annoyed that I took the toast I was buttering, (my only food of the day so far) and threw it in the bin.
There's been much much more which has chipped away at me over the last few months, but then tonight she casually told me I shouldn't be eating celery, sweet corn and a couple of other things which I can't remember now as I was so incensed at the time. I snapped at her, and now I feel guilty.
I told her I was the one with the disease and just because her hairdressers husband with Crohn's has issues with those foods doesn't mean that I do. I've done exclusion diets and food diaries etc. The only thing that seems to upset me is coffee.
Granted I don't tell her these things but only because I know it leads to unsolicited and misinformed advice. I know she means well of course I do, but she's completely tactless sometimes. I feel like she's constantly asking me why I don't want children (short answer is I would never cope and I don't like them anyway) and I've heard her telling a friend going through IVF treatment that she just needs to relax and she'll get pregnant. I was absolutely cringing.
I feel like trying to talk to her about this will just open a can of worms and she will get defensive and upset. I know she's trying to help and I haven't exactly made it easier by putting a brave face on things. My Dad is now asking me questions which I know is because she's told him too as he has never asked me about appointments etc before.
They seem to think a voicemail from the secretary at the GP changing my appointment time is massive cause for concern, not realising I'm in the doctors almost weekly for various blood tests etc.
I think I've tried to downplay a lot of this because I have a brother with fairly serious mental health problems who has pretty much taken up all their time and maxed out their stress levels for the last 10 years. I didn't want to contribute to that with my own problems too, but now it seems like my trying to shield them a bit is backfiring.
Any advice for me? I'm sorry everyone, I don't know what I did without this forum!! I'm at my wits end! Trying to hide how debilitating this can be has not been easy and I'm reluctant to now admit I've been struggling for fear that I won't be left alone!
Thanks in advance!