My thought would be to maybe get a second opinion? It sounds like you're rather desperate and it really can't hurt to get someone else's feedback.
As you'll note from my username, I was rather scared when I first started here myself. And I was in a lot of pain, had been for about a year - which is actually where the fear came from. Pain is scary, not being able to control it scarier still. Things turned out well for me in the end (at least in this chapter of my story) and I hope it will for you, too. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, we've all been in similarly frightening situations, and we've all made it out the other end. When you find the doctor that works for you, the treatments that work for you, and the support that you need, things get a lot better. It's just a matter of time. Hang in there, and, like I said, check into a second opinion.