Thank you for being so understanding for him and his condition. Please remember how much you love him when things get really bad. It could be years before he gets better or it could be soon that remission is possible.
Things to understand:
1) He is a sick person. He can't do things like what normal people do. He can't travel to random places or go camping at anytime. This is because he needs to plan things out so the bathroom is always close by. When we need to go to the bathroom... we need to go to the bathroom. Purchase a lot of tissue paper. Keep the place clean.
2) He can't eat anything like before. This means there is no more going out to eat. Especially fast food places or like Olive Garden etc. These foods will upset his stomach. You both should learn how to cook healthy meals. Research. make a journal of what hurts him or not. Some of the food might be bland but a healthy spouse is a happy spouse right? :]
3) Motivate him positively. He is going to be depressed or always feel like there is a heavy burden on him. The best thing to do is to force him to work out. Make him eat healthy meals. Watch over his medicine- make sure he doesn't over medicate. He is going to get moody because some of the medicine so please try to be understanding, forgive him, and move on. Give him a hug, kiss, and other things to make him happy.
4) You might have some difficult times financially. This is because of all the hospital visits, surgeries, ER visits; but most of the trouble will occur because he can't work. When he is flaring, he won't be able to support you properly. You might have to work more hours or get help from family. It might be a fast phase, he might get better fast, then he can work right away. However, if you read the forum... most people have difficulty working.
5) Sex life might not be so frequent. This is because he is in pain or flaring. The last thing he wants to do is have sex. He just wants to be healthy without any pain. This doesn't mean he doesn't love you or doesn't find you attractive. It's just with all the medicine the desire is not there... well not so much. Who knows, maybe wear something nice for him and sparks might fly. :]
Like I said before... most Crohn's or IBS patients suffer for a long time. They lose their jobs. They take a lot of medicine. There is constant ER visits. Constant hospital stays. Many financial difficulties. The road is a difficult one. This will test your love for each other to the max. I pray you guys stick together. Work things out through the difficult times.
Oh also remember... we battle this disease each day. Some days he will be healthy, happy, and energetic. However, there will me many days when he is hurting or bed ridden. You might think he is being lazy but he is not. Crohn's people get tired easily, get depressed, or feel like poo because of the medicine or just might have a bad case of diarrhea/constipation. Hang in there.
Much love :]
Holy cow, you make sound crohns so much worse than it really is! You can still travel, camp, back pack, jump out of a plane, or whatever else you want to do with crohns. I think what you were trying to say is that we might not always feel up to taking vacations, and that is okay but crohn's certainly doesn't have to hold you back from living your life.
You and your boyfriend can still go out to eat, and yes, even fast food lol. Diet is one of the most controversial topics with crohn's and while some people have "trigger foods" which can affect their crohns, there are also a large variety of members here that eat whatever they want and don't feel food affects their crohns at all. However, that's not to justify eating crappy fast food because in reality, it isn't healthy for anybody. There are many restaurants that has real food prepared properly that you and your boyfriend could eat at every single night and not have to worry.
Crohns doesn't cause depression. As we all handle life differently, some of us do have a harder time coping with serious issues such as crohns which is perfectly normal after learning you have a life long illness to deal with now, but crohns itself doesn't make some moody or depressed. Certain medications are possible side effects of mood swings or depression (prednisone) but again, not everybody experiences those. Like Artisan said, it is always good to motivate positive attitudes, but odds are your boyfriend isn't going to tornado into depression just because he has crohns. It takes some getting used too, but once you've had it for as long as some of, we even forget we have it sometimes.
Financially, you may have problems at some point, but you also might not. You said your boyfriends crohns is pretty mild so odds are he's not going to be at home on disability because he can't work. I've had crohns for 21 years now and I study full time at university and also have a full time job when I'm not at school. A normal life. Yes medication can be expensive, but that all depends on where you are, your health coverage (if any), etc. I don't think most people have difficulty working at all. Most of us live absolutely normal lives and you wouldn't even know we have crohns. I'd say there are significantly less members on here who actually have crohns severe enough that they are on social assistance or disability because of their crohns. Yes crohns can be serious, but I wouldn't consider it something that's going to ruin your life. Make the necessary changes (if any), pay attention to your body/health, and live your life.
Geeze, there's so much to address, and I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm ripping you apart but some of your information is pretty general and making assumptions that everybody with crohns is like you mentioned. *If* we flare, because some people rarely have flares, we can get tired, but that's when we are flaring. The word remission means you have no active disease. That means you're normal, healthy, etc. To say that he will spend most days in bed or in pain is just insane!
Now, to the OP. What Artisan said does have truth to it, but as I've said we all react differently. I've had crohns since I was 2 (now 23) and I live a completely normal life, without medicine. I couldn't tell you the last time I flared, nor spent the day in bed in pain. I have a full time job and am going to University full time, and everything else you could imagine a normal person does. I live a normal life....and I'm not even in remission. You don't become a vegetable the day you get crohns, so please, don't worry about that.
Some of us go through some tough times because of our crohns, but with the help of doctors, medicine (if needed), and proper treatment many of us are able to get our crohns under control and go back to living our lives.