So I am a new, first time mom. I have a little boy who just turned five weeks old and I am presently flaring and trying to get my disease back under control. I have recently gone back on my diet but I am so exhausted and I thought it would be a good idea to have a thread with tips for parents with IBD for how to cope with kids of any age. I didn't see a thread like this so forgive me if there is already one!
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Tips for parents WITH IBD
- Thread starter Crohns08
- Start date
Hello there Crohns08!
I have Crohn's and two young daughters (ages 4 and 2). There are times where my fatigue keeps me from being the mom I want and should be, and its super frustrating. And my oldest daughter frequently asks me "are you still sick?". Just the other day she watched me give myself my Humira injection and said "I don't want to do that when I grow up." I just thought to myself 'I hope you never have to!'.
I don't have any good coping tips, other than to enjoy the moments when you feel somewhat normal. I try to do low impact activities that the kids like...so they other day they played outside in the sprinkler while I held the hose. Or I take them to the playground and watch them play...I would love to run around with them more, but I am too fatigued most times (and am currently battling some significant iron deficiency anemia, which doesn't help). Or we sit on the floor and play dolls or Barbies or we sit and read books. Sometimes they don't understand and clearly get very frustrated with me...but other times they are very caring and patient.
Hope you feel better soon and congratulations on your new baby!
I have Crohn's and two young daughters (ages 4 and 2). There are times where my fatigue keeps me from being the mom I want and should be, and its super frustrating. And my oldest daughter frequently asks me "are you still sick?". Just the other day she watched me give myself my Humira injection and said "I don't want to do that when I grow up." I just thought to myself 'I hope you never have to!'.
I don't have any good coping tips, other than to enjoy the moments when you feel somewhat normal. I try to do low impact activities that the kids like...so they other day they played outside in the sprinkler while I held the hose. Or I take them to the playground and watch them play...I would love to run around with them more, but I am too fatigued most times (and am currently battling some significant iron deficiency anemia, which doesn't help). Or we sit on the floor and play dolls or Barbies or we sit and read books. Sometimes they don't understand and clearly get very frustrated with me...but other times they are very caring and patient.
Hope you feel better soon and congratulations on your new baby!
- Location
- New Jersey
I've got three kids...14, almost 9, and almost 7. Oh, and I've got one on the way. I was symptomatic with Crohns with my last pregnancy and was diagnosed a couple years afterward. So, my oldest knew me "healthy". The younger two did not. Being that she is a teenager, my 14 year old rolls her eyes and makes jokes about my pooper not working. My boys just run circles around me and make all kinds of trouble. So, I have learned two things being a parent of young children while being ill...
1) Noone is going to do it for you, so be selfish and take care of you first. This is the only way to be a good parent. Your children will take this self care attitude with them and mirror it in adulthood, which will most definitely help them to be better and more well adjusted people in the long run. They will be less resentful of others since their own needs will be met independently.
2) Don't sweat the small stuff. So, the kids are mad you can't run around with them? Take them to the park anyway and let them do the running while you sit on a bench. So, your floor hasn't been mopped in 3 weeks? Leave it until you are feeling up to it, hire help, or give your kids the opportunity to try their hand at giving the floor a wipe down. No, it won't be perfect, but showing your children how to be adaptable to life circumstances is a bigger favor to them than having a sparkling clean house.
Oh, and in particular with a newborn, just do your best and leave the rest up to someone else...they truthfully aren't going to remember if you let them cry for 5 extra minutes while you finished a shower/went to the bathroom/grabbed a sandwich. I know it is heartbreaking to hear a baby cry, but it doesn't always mean that whatever it wants at the moment is more important than what you might need to take care of yourself. Babies don't know how to ask for what they want in a nice way, its all scream all the time even if all they need to do is fall asleep!
Here is to hoping we all can enjoy life a little bit more with a little less IBD anguish...
1) Noone is going to do it for you, so be selfish and take care of you first. This is the only way to be a good parent. Your children will take this self care attitude with them and mirror it in adulthood, which will most definitely help them to be better and more well adjusted people in the long run. They will be less resentful of others since their own needs will be met independently.
2) Don't sweat the small stuff. So, the kids are mad you can't run around with them? Take them to the park anyway and let them do the running while you sit on a bench. So, your floor hasn't been mopped in 3 weeks? Leave it until you are feeling up to it, hire help, or give your kids the opportunity to try their hand at giving the floor a wipe down. No, it won't be perfect, but showing your children how to be adaptable to life circumstances is a bigger favor to them than having a sparkling clean house.
Oh, and in particular with a newborn, just do your best and leave the rest up to someone else...they truthfully aren't going to remember if you let them cry for 5 extra minutes while you finished a shower/went to the bathroom/grabbed a sandwich. I know it is heartbreaking to hear a baby cry, but it doesn't always mean that whatever it wants at the moment is more important than what you might need to take care of yourself. Babies don't know how to ask for what they want in a nice way, its all scream all the time even if all they need to do is fall asleep!
Here is to hoping we all can enjoy life a little bit more with a little less IBD anguish...
I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I agree with the post above- you have to take care of yourself. I know its hard to rest with a newborn but try to sleep when they sleep. The cleaning/mess will always be waiting. And- always ask for help!!!
My babies have always known me as sick so they seem to understand when I just need to sit back and watch or if we need to lay on the floor and play. We just take life super easy and laid back. Some weekends I'm just too exhausted to leave the house so we have a fire pit and roast marshmallows or cook something fun. This summer I haven't felt well enough to go the lake or pool so we got a small pool and water table and I can sit and watch them play. To them this is our normal and every few months we do something really fun like hit up an amusement park for the day.
Congratulations on your baby boy!
My babies have always known me as sick so they seem to understand when I just need to sit back and watch or if we need to lay on the floor and play. We just take life super easy and laid back. Some weekends I'm just too exhausted to leave the house so we have a fire pit and roast marshmallows or cook something fun. This summer I haven't felt well enough to go the lake or pool so we got a small pool and water table and I can sit and watch them play. To them this is our normal and every few months we do something really fun like hit up an amusement park for the day.
Congratulations on your baby boy!