Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender » Think I scared another one away...

02-21-2015, 09:20 AM   #1
nogutsnoglory's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: New York

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Think I scared another one away...

I was dating this guy and he really liked me but didn't know the full extent of my Illness. I didn't really care if he wanted to be with me or not because the chemistry wasn't great and quite frankly I'm too sick to date unless someone just wants to lay on a couch and watch TV with me which is probably not exhilarating!

Anyways I decided to share more about my illness the past few days and why I can't work because I'm a full time patient getting treatments and going for procedures etc.

His tune totally changed and he told my friends he is goal oriented and I'm not. I don't have enough curse words for that right now because I am goal oriented except I can't accomplish any other goal until my goal of health is accomplished.

I don't really care that I won't date him but the fact that my health scares him and that he calls me "lazy" pissed me off.

Maybe one day I'll find someone who understands or is on a similar boat and won't judge an invisible disability.
02-21-2015, 11:01 AM   #2
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scottsma's Avatar
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Location: Tynemouth, United Kingdom

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He wasn't for you, and I'm glad you're not too bothered by his crassness.But I bet you wish you had given him the push first eh ?

I hope you find somebody who cares real soon.
02-21-2015, 01:14 PM   #3
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FrozenGirl's Avatar
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Aww that sucks. That's one of my biggest fears. I hope you eventually find someone who will love and accept you for who you are.
Dx: Ulcerative Colitis, Nov 2013
Currently on:
Mezavant 4.8g
Vitamin D 1000iu
Tecta 40mg
Remicade: 600mg, every 4 weeks
Methotrexate: 15 mg (injection)
02-21-2015, 01:26 PM   #4
nogutsnoglory's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: New York

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Honestly it's better to know early if someone is going to not be able to handle the health stuff. Why wait to get hurt or waste precious time.

It's more the saying I lack goals that hurts but when you are in pain and extremely weak it's hard to be very goal oriented.
02-21-2015, 03:32 PM   #5
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DustyKat's Avatar
Join Date: May 2010
Location: New South Wales, Australia
*Hugs* ngng.

It surely is a hurtful and insensitive thing to say and it implies you have a choice, which you donít. What a jerk.

Thinking of you.

Dusty. xxx
Mum of 2 kids with Crohn's.
02-22-2015, 08:50 AM   #6
free_spirit24's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Georgia
First off- he's stupid- you don't need someone immature, rude, or inconsiderate! You're better off without that in your life.

Don't nobody with medical issues or life long diseases need any negativity in their life!

Keep your head held high, brush it off, and be happy to know you don't have someone bringing you down.
02-22-2015, 01:30 PM   #7
Patch's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Michigan
Ew, what a jerk. The sooner you can forget about him the better.
02-22-2015, 07:21 PM   #8
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He probably felt guilty or ashamed about his feelings and so he had to make it about you.
02-22-2015, 10:00 PM   #9
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Optimistic's Avatar
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I'm sorry you went through that. Inappropriate words are running through my head!

I hope something good is around the corner to brighten your day.
02-23-2015, 10:33 AM   #10
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Definitely sounds like he was pushing it off on you bc he was afraid to say he could t handle the health part. Bygones!!
02-23-2015, 11:09 AM   #11
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brooklyn23's Avatar
You're better off without him. If he doesn't get that getting through the day is a goal you work on every day, then he clearly lacks compassion and that's no good in a relationship.
Dx Ileal Crohn's Disease 12/2010
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03-12-2015, 12:48 PM   #12
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Rhode Island

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I'm always extremely upfront about my Crohn's and what it means in terms of my future and our relationship, because I want to know if they're going to bail when the going gets tough before the going gets tough, y'know? It makes dating harder than it already is, but it'll be worth it eventually.

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