First post & newly registered, so please direct me if this is in the wrong place.
I've been seeing a guy with Crohn's disease for a couple months now. He's lovely & the sex is fantastic. He told me about his Ostomy before we hooked up & explained that he would keep his shirt on. This has been fine because I've discovered it is fine for me to put my hands under his shirt as long as I am not anywhere near the bag. I've noticed, however, that positions for full body cuddling create problems - he puts his hand over the bag if my belly gets too close or when I wrap my arm around him. I had assumed this was a mental thing for him - a strategy to make it easier for him to relax by blocking my awareness of the bag. But it occurred to me that certain kinds of pressure might not be a good idea & I can't find specific enough information on resource sites to know for sure.
So, all you with ostomies: is it painful or risking damage to the bag if your partner is laying on top of you? Or you on top of him? Think resting your head on his chest & belly to belly, not vigorous fucking. I feel like we are ready for a little bit of "hey, that thing bothers you more than it bothers me" from me, but I feel pretty ignorant about practical issues (I don't want to bust a bag or cause him pain from inappropriate pressure). I want him to know that that hand doesn't have to be there.
Thanks for advice!
I've been seeing a guy with Crohn's disease for a couple months now. He's lovely & the sex is fantastic. He told me about his Ostomy before we hooked up & explained that he would keep his shirt on. This has been fine because I've discovered it is fine for me to put my hands under his shirt as long as I am not anywhere near the bag. I've noticed, however, that positions for full body cuddling create problems - he puts his hand over the bag if my belly gets too close or when I wrap my arm around him. I had assumed this was a mental thing for him - a strategy to make it easier for him to relax by blocking my awareness of the bag. But it occurred to me that certain kinds of pressure might not be a good idea & I can't find specific enough information on resource sites to know for sure.
So, all you with ostomies: is it painful or risking damage to the bag if your partner is laying on top of you? Or you on top of him? Think resting your head on his chest & belly to belly, not vigorous fucking. I feel like we are ready for a little bit of "hey, that thing bothers you more than it bothers me" from me, but I feel pretty ignorant about practical issues (I don't want to bust a bag or cause him pain from inappropriate pressure). I want him to know that that hand doesn't have to be there.
Thanks for advice!