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A BAD day...

Well, Ozzie and I have been plodding along rather nicely for the past few weeks, and slowly getting to know one another. The weather here has been great recently, so today I accepted an offer to go for a walk along the beach with some friends. It ended with most of the contents of my bag all over some nice white linen trousers. They are in the bin, my confidence soon followed them.
I'm not sure what went wrong, but it certainly wasn't the time or place for my 1st accident (if there ever would be!)
I hate this...I want my old life back!!

Crohn's 35

Inactive Account
I am so sorry Andrea, I dont know about stomas and I would think it takes time to get used to?? Wearing white is risky even for me... I hope you can get some help here and continue on, you know we are there for you, email me if you need me ok??? Big hugs!xxx


Ozzie, you are one bad a££ sh&^. Slap him. Andrea...never ever wear white trousers. Never. Besides, in Wales, you may be mistaken for a sheep. Please, be careful!

Andrea, the first public humiliation can not be put into words for embarrassment. All we can do is send you hugs. And say, oh shit, do we ever know the embarrassment.

We can only move on to tomorrow and hope it's a better day. What else can we do?

Hi Andrea,
That is terrible! What happened - was it wafer failure? Or did your bag open somehow?
What brand and type of closure?

I'm lucky - so far all my accidents have been at home. I'm sorry that happened to you!
Sorry that happened Andrea :(
Were the friends you were with supportive? How did they react?
hang in there
awwww I'm sorry to hear that! I had a lot of really embarrassing accidents when I first got my stoma, so don't worry! A lot of the time it can be cos of clothes or not sticking it on properly, and now I haven't had an accident in 2 years!
How did your friends react?


Oh, Andrea! I'm so sorry this happened! Did you get your fish and chips first? :)

And really, white linen? Are you insane? I won't attempt white for at least another three months!

If it helps, I have been having trouble with blowouts too. Just can't seem to get the right appliance. I'll figure it out - so will you.

Don't get too down, hun. We'll get thru this together!

xo - Ames
Hi Andrea,
Since misery loves company, I'll tell you about my horrible morning.

I had my first accident this morning in my bathroom while I was cleaning out my bag and emptying it, I missed the toilet completely and ended up covered in "it" from the waist down, new jammies destroyed, slippers destroyed, in tears.

Unable to lug the mop and bucket myself since I'm only a couple of weeks post op. Had to go get the hubby to do that and mop it up. Visiting nurse knocking at front door wanting to check my incision. I basically sent her away, hehe, I needed a shower! Completely grossed myself out, not sure if I'll be able to eat any time soon lol.

So, note to self, have coffee and wake up BEFORE attempting to clean and change bag.
Sooo sorry! What went wrong?? What bag are you using? Thankfully I've only had accidents at home so far. Mine happen when I try "burbing" the bag or emptying it. I think I get in a hurry and get careless at home.
Hi all, Thanks so much for the kind words. My confidence is a bit knocked, but having to put it all down to 'experience'. One I'd rather not be having again anytime soon!!

I'm currently using Coloplast Sensura Flex. Have seen my stoma nurse today and just as I thought, it was my fault and not an appliance breakdown. The skin under my flange is sore and seems to be weeping. I couldn't have either dried correctly before applying a clean appliance, or the weeping has caused everything to slide. Same out come- me covered in s**t from waist to feet! I've been given some powder to apply first that should help the soreness and weeping. Am home all day tomorrow, so will try again and see how we go. Ozzie and I are still trying to figure this all out- he's not a month old yet, and really is as trying as a baby!!
My friends were great- one ran to the car to get my bag of supplies and wipes, whilst the other stood and tried to cover me up as much as possible. Really couldn't have asked for more.
Well that's one more 'First time...' to knock off the list.
Thanks again- there really isnt any other place you can come and vent about sh**ing all over yourself and NOT get looked at strangely!!
And xx
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You hang on in there my friend, you're doing just smashing!
'These things are sent to try us'
Yeah, I know it's bollocks, but it can be true!
Everything happens for a reason, and this happened as a warning NOT to wear white pants again!
Ya know I'm only joshin!
Take care xxxxxxxxxxxx


I have found my biggest enemies to be damp/weeping skin, or a wrinkle I miss when applying a skin barrier.... but the big one is weeping skin.....

It's like a vicious cycle... get a leak so the skin gets a bit of a sore and maybe weeps a tiny bit; don't get it all dried off and apply new skin barrier only to have it "fail" in a few hours; have to take off the leaky barrier so it aggrivates the skin more, causing it to weep a bit more; etc.... The first couple of weeks I was going through 4 to 6 barriers a DAY and my skin was horrible (almost like Kello's PG - but not quite as bad...) and just not wanting to go ANYWHERE - I still get anxious if I have to go out anywhere, but hiding at home isn't doing anything for my psyche.....

Once I got the powder and got everything going on the right track, the skin healed. I still get less than 48 hours out of a barrier, but at least now I KNOW for the most part and can control it - so for example if it is close to changing time and I need to go out to town for groceries or something, I just change it and go. Of course that doesn't ALWAYS work - but I have also now found the public washrooms in town that allow me the space and privacy I need to make a change...lol.

It's just frustrating when you have to worry/deal with that AND some other issue going on in your body still (for example in your case, feeling crappy from the chemo).... as you have told me so many times over the past coupla months.... just take your time, and I am here if you need me......

Silver xxxxx
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Joan- white pants defo on hold for now- will bring them back out for my trip to L'pool. Brown or black all the way this summer- I will start the trend of wearing winter colours in the summer!! xx

Silver- Glad I'm not alone. It really is a huge learning curve, and I have no doubt I'm barely off the start! xx
The coloplast irritated my skin. I think it was because the wafer didn't "breathe".I like the holister better, because of the cloth wafer. The powder worked great for me too.
Hey Andrea,
I had a similar adventure today I just posted about in my stomaversary thread. Luckily my pants were dark blue - and I was alone in a public bathroom.

I hope you can get that weeping skin under control. That is definitely the enemy of ostomy flanges. Do you think you might be allergic to the flange, or do you think it's from output getting on the skin around your stoma?

Is the weeping part right aound the stoma? Or further out?

Crohn's Mom

Awe man Andrea I'm so sorry to hear this for you!

Gab had a similar incident the first time she let any of her friends come to see her!
She was sitting on the couch, just hanging out and talking...then she had to get up for something, who knows what, and BOOM! It all busted out and spilled all over her!
Thank goodness for her awesome friends that think Ozzie is "sooo cool". They helped her clean up and then immediately came to get me and help her.
She laughed her way through it in front of them..but then went in the shower and cried :(
Poor thing didn't close her clasp very well, so she blamed herself. Needless to say, we switched her to the lock and roll closures now and she likes them soo much better!

Hang in there sweetie! Even tho I don't have one myself, I feel like an honorary member of this club since I am the one who cares for her Ozzie (until she is emotionally strong enough to do it on her own).
You all can kick me out if you want! :rof:
:ghug::ghug::ghug: ~ for you Andrea ~ Stay strong and try not to let it get you too down :)


Your Story Forum Monitor
You have my sympathy, Andrea. I'm not there yet, but I will be careful and humble, as that may be my fate in the future. My grandfather had accidents with his stoma and bag. Not pretty!
Oh honey, I'm sorry. I had some tearful accidents when I had my ostomy, my first one in an airport when I was with my husband on my way to visit my parents in Alaska! I thought I was going to die of embarrassment, but my husband just helped me get cleaned up, and told me it wasn't a big deal and not to let it ruin my trip, and I didn't. I had another leak on vacation in Alaska with a bunch of people around, several at work, and one on my wedding night after my husband and I had dinner. I also had problems with my skin, and two days before my wedding I had to spend the whole day up in my room alone while my extended family waited down stairs because my skin was too sore to hold a bag at all, and they wouldn't stay on for even an hour! I went through a ton of bags that day!

As bad as that was, it all did make me stronger, and no matter what I always had the support of my husband, thank God. I really learned not to take myself so seriously, and I have never regretted my ostomy for a moment because it gave me my life back.

I did learn a really great trick from all of those blow outs. It is disgusting, but I taught it to other ostimates on here, and if you are willing to be a little grossed out, it could be really helpful to you.

On the day when I had so many blow outs and my skin was so raw that I couldn't keep a bag on at all, I discovered that what you have to do is lay in a bath tub with your bag off getting soaked for as long as you can stand it. I used a plastic cup and every time Oliver Stoma did its thing, I collected the poo in it and just kept soaking. Just soak and soak, and it will help the skin heal. Then, when you want to get out, obviously clean your body with fresh soap and water, but just use water near the stoma. Dry off really well, and then put a bag on. Works every time. Your skin should be healed enough to hold a bag again.

I know this is disgusting and extreme, but it helped a few people on here last year, and it is better than never being able to get a good seal and leaking again and again.

Good luck sweetheart, and remember that every hardship makes you stronger, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.


Super Moderator
Okay Welshy and T,

We may be the arse end of the world but do ya'll have to be calling ya stoma's Ossie or Ozzie. We're getting a complex down here!......:rof:

Dusty. :)


To save time...Ask Dusty!
I still think it's the perfect name for a bag full of....

The good thing about these stoma accidents is that soon you'll be telling these stories to amuse people and simply look back and smile!
Thanks all. Today I am 'experimenting'-sounds a bit more 'exotic' than it is trust me!! Quiet house, no visitors, just Ozzie and I trying to come to some solution. We WILL get there!!

Kris- Holister cloth wafer, sounds just what I need. More breathable. Will give them a call and get some samples. Thank you.

Joe- It could well be an allergy. The whole area under my bag is weepy, but I am thinking it could also be just me, and not having dried the area tidy before applying. I do think that Kris's idea of a cloth wafer may well help me here. Sorry to hear of your 'accident' at work, so even the 'pro's' still have them?

Amy- LMFAO. Would you believe, but Anal sex was NEVER on my to do list at the start? It's now only open to scopes....xx

T- No need for you to leave. You have 2 honorary Ozzies on your side!! Hope all is well with Gabs. It really is a sharp learning curve, but I WILL get there. Just have to accept that this is part of the course and its still early days. xx

Andy- Thanks for stopping by. Hope you're flare is now under control.

Nicole- Thanks so much for the tip. I have taken it on board and spent the past hour in the bath, with a cup and trying to soak the area. Seems to have helped quite a bit. My bag hasn't moved for an hour, so maybe this is what I need to be doing a bit more regular. Today is better than yesterday and better again than Monday- so we are heading in the right direction, just with a few hurdles I hadn't anticipated! Thanks for the advice- I'll be sure to pass it on! x

Dusty- Complex? I know you're far too thick skinned for that hun, but now you will always be held close to me. Mine though was certainly named after your/my much loved country- met many a male Aussie at the bars down there who talked equally as much s**t as mine is spewing right now. You know I love ya xx

Wendy- Where do you find these pics. Always so appropriate! xx

Mark- LMAO, but I'm glad I didn't say it! Yes, I'm keeping note, and the best seller will be in all good bookstores within the year!

Really has made me realise that I am not alone with this and these accidents are part of the course, so THANK YOU all sooo much. Onwards and upwards xx


Super Moderator
met many a male Aussie at the bars down there who talked equally as much s**t as mine is spewing right now.
Well I can't argue that BUT I know a Yank that would give 'em a run for their money. Since it is an ileo we're talking about and we're familiar with the shape, couldn't ya call it redneck??? :wink:

Love ya mate,
Dusty. xxx
Yay I'm glad it helped! You really only need to do it when the area starts getting sore, but do it right away then. I love to be able to help!

Just wanted to say that you will get used to this and it will all feel okay one day. I know it is hard to believe, but it is true. I forgot to mention in my post, that some of my accidents made me cry, but some of them made me laugh, or more likely still, shrug. The one after my wedding was my own fault because I had worn too tight of pants over Oliver. I had supplies with me, so I just cleaned up, fixed myself up and came out of the bathroom feeling proud of myself for taking care of it and just getting on with life. I told my husband about what happened when i came out and we both treated it like nothing and walked back to the hotel holding hands and having a great night.

It also might really help you to meet another Crohnie with a bag. you should see if there are support groups in your area. I just did this yesterday, and I swear we both looked at each other like the other one was a unicorn, or some other mythical creature. It was like, there really are other people who know what a stoma is without me explaining it????? We couldn't talk fast enough about our experiences and it was great! I can't wait to meet up again. What struck us the most was how normal the other one seemed. It helped me to realize that I must seem a lot more normal to others then i thought. She showed me her wrap for her bag, and I told her what mine looked like, and it was just nice realizing how okay all of this stuff really is.

Any way, my point is, I wish I had done it a lot sooner, and I really think finding a support group might help you too. Hope things are better today and I'll keep checking in!


How have I not posted on this thread??!! lol Now that I'm too late, I'm very glad that you seem to have things under control! I have no other advice to add, everyone's pretty much covered everything I've thought of.

Keep on keepin' on :)


Andrea, I'm so glad it helped! Now I need details. Nicole, Cindy, anyone....please chime in!

When you had a bath, was it just clear clean water, or did ya'll put anything in it? Did you have to take lots of immodium first? Cause I would think that Stan, being the arsehole he is, would just decide to get very active on me. Then what????

How does the water heal up our torn skin??

Sorry, I'm still a relative newbie to this stoma thing as well. And frankly Stan and I dont always get along!



I'm in a bit of a different situation than those of you with ileostomies...my stool is fully formed, so catching it in a cup or even a piece of toilet paper isn't a problem...it's not generally very messy! And even if I did miss one in the bath, it would be easy to fish out...lol The water just soothes the skin, plus I think the skin being allowed to breathe helps alot too (that's why when I change my flange, I always walk around for about an hour without anything on Oscar, just to give the skin a break...I only change my flange once a week, so the skin gets pretty tender under there). But, I just use plain old water with nothing in it. I think if you have a plastic cup near you when you decide to do this, you can catch the output and not worry about it.

Hope this has helped :)
I also use Hollister and like the cloth like wafer. The other day I was in the shower and noticed to myself how well the thing remains stuck to me even when soaking wet. Like the water just did not bother it at all.

About the bath thing, as some of you know, my perianal incision took forever to heal and my surgeon had me taking hot baths every day to promote healing (twice a day for a while). I don't know how or why it works. I just used plain water.


I'm in a bit of a different situation than those of you with ileostomies...my stool is fully formed, so catching it in a cup or even a piece of toilet paper isn't a problem...it's not generally very messy! And even if I did miss one in the bath, it would be easy to fish out...lol The water just soothes the skin, plus I think the skin being allowed to breathe helps alot too (that's why when I change my flange, I always walk around for about an hour without anything on Oscar, just to give the skin a break...I only change my flange once a week, so the skin gets pretty tender under there). But, I just use plain old water with nothing in it. I think if you have a plastic cup near you when you decide to do this, you can catch the output and not worry about it.

Hope this has helped :)
She is sayin she can do 'born freeee'. I'm sssssssoooooooooooooo jealous!
Misty- just plain warm water for me today. I don't know what's in our H2O here, but it does seem to have helped. My bag has certainly got a better 'fix' today. Hoping to try the cloth like wafer mentioned by Kris and Joe (thanks guys), and see if we can at last find the solution to my probs here. It's certainly been a better day!!

Thanks all for the continued support- Ozzie and I are getting there! xx
Like others have said, Just plain water only! If you put anything else on it or even clean it with soap, you will not get a good seal. Even when cleaning, try to only use warm water and nothing else and keep it very dry before you put your bag on.

Glad you are having a better day Andrea!


No war! Just wanna run around nekked is all!!!
Dont worry, I'll draw the curtains. I dont want to frighten the neighbours.


Jaysus no! I have a 50 year old body. My belly was cut from stem to stern and they destroyed my muscles. I'm 9 months pregnant on one side due to that and a hernia. The other side looks little better. And to think only the year before I could wear a bikini still. FFS. :mad2:

I cant even stand to look at myself anymore.

I think you should post a pic of you in that bikini here first Misty, and then we will advise whether or not your neighbours could cope!
Hi Andrea,

I hope your feeling a bit better this afternoon!

I am unable to give any advice but thinking of you from one welsh to another!



I think you should post a pic of you in that bikini here first Misty, and then we will advise whether or not your neighbours could cope!
Andrea has just received a text picture of my stomach, or second butt. She is now agreeing that I should close the drapes. Maternity wear is my only option. And the Drs and surgeons say I will need a damn good cosmetic surgeon to fix it. Thank you L&D hospital.

I look like a freak.


By the way, can anyone recommend a good cosmetic surgeon? Seriously. With the hernia, etc I need some help.
I just had to share this with you guys! I had my first ever blow-out today.... At work. I have been all over the place since surgery, and this had to happen at work. Luckily, it happened at just the right time when I could sneak off to the bathroom. I felt a burning itch and knew something was wrong. I was able to change the wafer and bag, but my skin was horribly red and bumpy from the blow-out. It was my fault. I didn't plan on changing my wafer before work, but I got it wet in the shower. I know it's ok to get wet, but I work 12 hour shifts and was worried it wouldn't last through the day, so I changed it at the last minute. I got in a hurry and I don't think I did a good job getting the soap off my skin. After I put it on I knew something wasn't right, but I couldn't see any issues and thought I was just paranoid. WRONG! I only had one wafer and bag as a backup, so I went home. I was soooo afraid of the second wafer failing, because my skin got so red and bumpy. Then I would have been with no back up. So, lesson learned. I will ALWAYS shower and change my wafer the night before, and I packed three back-up wafers and bags in my purse. Good news is that I made it through my crisis without having a complete panic attack.
So sorry this happened Kris. My worst fears were always that my first 'accident' would be in public- and they sure came true.
It's another 'first time to...' cross off your list!
Glad you made it through without the panic attack (stronger than me!) x
Thank you Andrea! It was always my biggest fear too. Escpecially at work. Luckily nobody noticed. I left saying I had the stomach flu. Everyone at work knows I had surgery, but they don't know about the ileostomy. The only reason I have ever had accidents at home is because I got careless. This is what happened this time too. At least now we know how to handle such a situtation right!
Glad to hear your "blow out" went along as discreetly as possible! I'll let you know how mine goes when it happens, cuz I know it will and I'm just prayin that I'm with the right people (aka the people that know I have a colostomy) when it happens.


The burning itchiness under the wafer.... always precedes my blowouts!!!

A good rule of thumb - if you're suspicious about the seal - change it!! I learned that the hard way.

Glad you got things taken care of discreetly. Welcome to the Blow Out Club!

- Amy


I've never had a blow-out and I've had my colostomy for almost a year and a half now...and no, I'm not bragging...lol Just saying that just because we have these things doesn't mean a blow-out is eminent...although now that I've said this, I'm bound to have one this afternoon...lol
lol Cindy! I had just said on this thread how I never had a blow out, just accidents at home. A couple of days later it happened. Be careful! Amy, so true. I should have listened to my inner voice. It could have been sooo much worse. The hardest part at work is that nobody knows I have an ileostomy, so I had to make up an excuse to go home. I hated doing that. Oh well, hopefully this is my first and last blow-out. Thanks for the support everyone!


I bragged for months. No leaks, no blowouts, perfectly wonderful. What happens...I blow in Tesco. (for you Americans, think Walmart)

FFS. In front of a lovely young lady who I was meeting from this list in fact. Exit stage left double time. After that....numerous leaks and blow outs. It's bad karma or sommit to talk about not having them!!!! Since then I've managed to go work, very carefully, but havent made it to the shops since. Terrified! I need a new bag thingy or some help. Sigh.....

still looking for a good plastic surgeon in the UK folks!!!
Ozzie, you are one bad a££ sh&^. Slap him. Andrea...never ever wear white trousers. Never. Besides, in Wales, you may be mistaken for a sheep. Please, be careful!

I guess it's better to be mistaken for a sheep in Wales than in Scotland... unless you are looking for a boyfriend. :ybiggrin:

Seriously... Sorry to hear about the poo explosion. You do not need to toss your clothes after these accidents. Seventh Generation Baby detergent has a special enzyme for dealing with protein stains. It works wonders on my daughters poo explosions and projectile vomiting... oh the joys of raising kids.