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A bit Fed up

Just thought I might have a rant/vent.
Health wise I don't really have anything to complain about at the moment, steroids going ok. Not sure how effective my surgery has been, just waiting on appointments in feb to find out about the next steps.
But life wise I'm seriously fed up at the moment.
My mum summed it up in a conversation I heard her have with her friend a few months ago about me and my sister: "(my sister) has everything at the moment, really exciting, just started uni, has her career ahead of her, has her friends a lovely boyfriend. But Holly has nothing, she doesn't have a job, she doesn't have her friends or a boyfriend, she doesn't have any money and she doesn't even have her health"
Its the end of January now so I can add another month of unemployment. I know I have needed this time since xmas to recover, but I can't exactly put that on my CV can I. And to employers all they see is that I haven't done anything since I have finished uni. I have applied to so many things and I just don't know how to turn this around. I really want a job but I cant do more than apply for things. (I had an interview last week for a volunteer position so I'm hoping something will come of that at least).
I look forward to the weekends to give myself some days off the job search but then my family just seriously annoy me. (I feel bad for moaning about them because they are supportive and lovely to me).
But our house is small, my bedroom a box room so I have no choice but to sit with them in the lounge all day and evening. My sister comes home for the weekends and at the moment she is on a placement for uni and she just goes on and on about it and she has got so up herself almost everything she says at me it feels like she is snapping at me. So annoying, especially since she was lovely to me over xmas while I was in hospital and I was sad for her to go away on placement. Then when she goes again its all my parents can talk about. I feel like we have the same convos again and again and I sit here getting more and more angry and frustrated.
I actually feel like this forum is all that I have at the moment. I don't have anything which is mine to be excited about and look forward to the way my sister does. I don't want to begrudge her happiness but it is hard when I have nothing. I want to be happy too.
I try and be positive but I'm finding it really hard at the moment, in a few months I will be 22. How many 22 year olds have so little? This should be my time, you know?
:( Thank you for reading. x
 
Hey Holly,

Sorry I know we just spoke on my thread and I just randomly clicked on this right after and saw it was you so I read it but I just wanted to say I completely empathise!

Life can be REALLY tough after graduation, as I said before I'm 25 and this is my fourth year of 'real life' since graduating, and it's been an eye opener. I see it as a race where we all begin at the same place, graduation, and then everyone goes off in different directions and at different paces and we all end up in completely different places, some people seem to have got everything at once (annoyingly successful girls doing jobs they love living in their own flats in London with their Oxford-graduate super rich fiancées grrr) while others are still single, living at home with their parents working in call centres (that was me).

Someone really should have told me what I was letting myself in for when I graduated in this crappy economic climate, I wouldn't have bothered leaving education at all.

The good news is your Crohn's is ok and from what I see you're soon to start Infliximab, which is amazing stuff and will hopefully put you in remission so that's one less thing to worry about. I've found my Crohn's has really got in the way since I graduated (I was diagnosed 2011) and I do wonder what life would have been like if I hadn't got ill, but it's not use thinking that way because you can't change the past only the future.

I also get what you mean about living with your parents, as I said I'm 25 and it's really not what I imagined for myself when I was 21. I know I'll definitely move out this year, but it doesn't make up for it in the mean time. I love my family but I really want my own place and I don't want to be living with them any more.

What's the main thing getting you down, is it not having a job? Are you looking for work close to home or are you wanting to relocate somewhere else? It's difficult because we are in such a crap economy it's the worst time to be looking for work. What jobs are you applying for?

What I really want to say is I totally get it and if I was anywhere near Reading I would say let's go for a drink and cheer ourselves up!

Hannah x
 
Hey Litttlemissvalentine,

I am sorry you are feeling so down and out, and that is normal especially when dealing with a chronic illness. I will say this much, there is one thing that you do have over your sister, and that is strength. You have endured and continue to endure a lot when it comes to your health. It may seem like you have nothing to look foward to at the moment, but things will pick and and get better. You are still so young(ughh, I wish I was 22 again :)) You have have your whole life ahead of you. You need some "you" time to recooperate and get well. Things will eventually fall into place for you. Oh and by the way, you have plenty of friends on this board. I know it is not the same as having a friend to hang out with, but we are all here for you and we all can relate and understand what you are feeling and going through. Hang in there, things will look up for you...












Just thought I might have a rant/vent.
Health wise I don't really have anything to complain about at the moment, steroids going ok. Not sure how effective my surgery has been, just waiting on appointments in feb to find out about the next steps.
But life wise I'm seriously fed up at the moment.
My mum summed it up in a conversation I heard her have with her friend a few months ago about me and my sister: "(my sister) has everything at the moment, really exciting, just started uni, has her career ahead of her, has her friends a lovely boyfriend. But Holly has nothing, she doesn't have a job, she doesn't have her friends or a boyfriend, she doesn't have any money and she doesn't even have her health"
Its the end of January now so I can add another month of unemployment. I know I have needed this time since xmas to recover, but I can't exactly put that on my CV can I. And to employers all they see is that I haven't done anything since I have finished uni. I have applied to so many things and I just don't know how to turn this around. I really want a job but I cant do more than apply for things. (I had an interview last week for a volunteer position so I'm hoping something will come of that at least).
I look forward to the weekends to give myself some days off the job search but then my family just seriously annoy me. (I feel bad for moaning about them because they are supportive and lovely to me).
But our house is small, my bedroom a box room so I have no choice but to sit with them in the lounge all day and evening. My sister comes home for the weekends and at the moment she is on a placement for uni and she just goes on and on about it and she has got so up herself almost everything she says at me it feels like she is snapping at me. So annoying, especially since she was lovely to me over xmas while I was in hospital and I was sad for her to go away on placement. Then when she goes again its all my parents can talk about. I feel like we have the same convos again and again and I sit here getting more and more angry and frustrated.
I actually feel like this forum is all that I have at the moment. I don't have anything which is mine to be excited about and look forward to the way my sister does. I don't want to begrudge her happiness but it is hard when I have nothing. I want to be happy too.
I try and be positive but I'm finding it really hard at the moment, in a few months I will be 22. How many 22 year olds have so little? This should be my time, you know?
:( Thank you for reading. x
 
I think the main reason why your sister and parents are only really talking about her placement is because it's something new in their lives, and it's just something people will do. They'll get a bit of good news and tell everyone about it until they eventually get bored, so eventually they will stop :p

Honestly I wouldn't wait for things to fall into place. Good things come out of waiting for very few people, it's much better to act. Have you thought about picking something new up like a language or just a hobby in general? I know you recently started the gym (how's that going by the way?) but you've probably found out by now that you can't do that every day for multiple hours :p If you can't find much to do in reading, you should head down to London, I do it every so often to go round the museums just for a nice day out.
 
Thank you everyone for your kind words :)
Hannah, I would love for us to go for that drink! Its a shame you aren't closer! I totally agree with what you were saying about graduates. Its just so hard at the moment. I've been applying for all sorts of things. Degree related stuff like food science (in the food industry) or nutrition but there isn't a lot of that. Then I have been applying for more general scientific or lab type positions. Plus anything health related I'm qualified enough to do or admin type work. I keep an eye on part time jobs too, and have applied for a lot of that. And volunteer work... I need something commutable from reading for now because my financial situation is so bad, so I need to stay with my parents.
I'm not sure what the main thing is that is getting to me. I guess it must be not having a job, because with a job so many other things will fall into place. Money and the social aspect. I just want to feel like I am moving forward somehow. And you don't realise how much it does knock your confidence until it happens to you as well.
Price - yeah I think joining the gym was me trying to do something for myself. I'm going to go for the second time tomorrow!
I do have lots of hobbies. I'm really into needle work so I have done a lot of knitting, crochet and recently picked up some old cross stitch too. So I've been giving myself projects to work on which really keep me going.
I also have piano and ukulele which I don't do as often.
London is a good suggestion... Its just the whole money thing stops me doing things too often.
 
Yeah money sucks, luckily for me I'd budgeted to be able to afford spending £3 a day on energy drinks, so when I stopped drinking them I saved myself mega wonga.

Dunno how much the train is from reading to london but I can't imagine it being much more than portsmouth which is £30. Then it's just a case of finding something free to do :p
 
Location
Ontario
Finding a job after graduation even if you don't have an illness can be tough. I too studied nutrition and I didn't have Crohn's at the time; I remember applying for so many jobs in the food industry, I seriously submitted over 75 resumes across Canada with absolutely no luck. I ended up joining the military mostly out of need for a job. Now that I've been diagnosed, my release is inevitable, so I'm back on the job hunt and there's still not a lot out there.

I hope you find something soon.
 
I am so sorry you are feeling down, but I agree you have a lot of strength and it will pay off. Continue searching and something good will happen.
 
Sorry you have had such a tough time lately.

I really do not have much advice for you, but I do think you are helping yourself by applying for volunteer work. Helps you learn in the real world and will get you out of the house, which would help a lot.

Your sister is doing well and that is a good thing. We have a saying here that is associated with a real off color joke. "Everyone gets their turn in the barrel."
Everyone has good times and good fortune at times. Everyone also has bad times and poor luck at other times.

Life is matter of making the best out of either situation. I personally admire many of Winston Churchill's quotes during horrible times. Look them up sometimes.

Do what you can to improve your situation and never give up.

Getting what you want is more about dogged persistence than anything else.

I hope things turn around soon for you.

Best Wishes

Dan
 
Thank you,
Yes I do just have to keep going and keep trying but it is hard when it feels like what I'm doing is coming to nothing.
I have been accepted for that volunteer position though so at least that is something!
Also, I spoke to my mum about my sister's attitude and the way she was talking to me and mum said she had noticed it too. She said she thinks she is probably stressed on her placement so she comes home to take it out on us. She said if it carries on she will say something to her though.
 
Hey Holly,

Congratulations on the volunteer job, what's the role? I spent five years when I was younger in St John Ambulance and gained so many skills that helped me get work, I also spent three months in Africa volunteering which again looks good on my CV, and I'm currently doing a voluntary leadership programme, I've definitely made more friends and learnt more transferable skills through volunteering than through paid work! So it's useful and fun :)

Glad to hear you're family stuff's been sorted out, how was your sister being? My family - Mum, Dad, Me and my Sister - are all living together again for the first time in years, and it's pretty tough, it takes a lot of effort on both mine and my sister's part to get along while we're living together, although we're best friends we're also really different and not really compatible housemates lol.
 
Thanks Hannah,
The volunteer role is a ward assistant at meal times at the hospital. I only have to commit to one meal time a week. I'm also in contact with someone about another role, which is cooking with blind people.
My sister is fine at the moment because she isn't here! :p She goes to London during the week and comes home at weekends. Yeah it is hard when we are all here. You and your sister sound just like me and mine. We are best friends but I think its just got to the point where we shouldn't live together now.
I've just had a call - I have an interview on Friday! Which is really good I'm so pleased I have actually had a positive response from my applications! Its for a full time scientific position for the environment agency. If I don't get it I don't mind because ideally for where I am in my life now I would be happy with part time and the volunteer positions. But obviously if they offer it to me I wont turn it down!!
 
Good luck with that Holly! That sounds like a wonderful opportunity. I remember when I got the job I have currently, in 2010, I completely didn't expect to ever hear from them (its a very well known company so I thought I wasn't good enough)...but sometimes these things just work out. I went from thinking I'd never find a job to having one I was very happy with in about 5 days.
 
ps If you're worried about what your CV will look like timeline-wise, it's very understandable to take a gap year :) especially in Europe, I know like everybody in Germany does that. (And the Germans aren't lazy people!)
 
I was an employer and to be honest with you everyone will ask for a cv but truth of the matter is people like to fib when it comes to there cv. I always looked at them but would make my decision after talking to someone and just listen to how they conducted themselves and what their personality was. The two things you cannot teach are work ethics and personality. Be yourself and trust in who you are and that is your true cv.
 
Good luck on Friday! I work at Cranfield University and we had an event tonight by the society for the environment and the main speaker was the CEO of the environment agency, nice guy but I really didn't have a clue what the lecture was about lol.
 
Hey!
I think it went ok thanks, although I'm not sure I came across enthusiastic enough... that always seems to be my problem.
Also the job wont be very nice, it will basically be a glorified cleaning job! Cleaning machinery which has been out in the rivers. But, its a good wage, location and hours so I cant complain. They said they had more people to interview this week so I guess I'll just wait and see.
 
Even if not the most glamorous - hopefully you get it! If you don't feel satisfied nothing says you can't look more :) and you have the comfort of some income. Never a bad thing! ;)
 
I've been feeling pretty down over the last few days. If something gets me in a bad mood, I seem to be in a constant bad mood. I'm worried about money. And towards the end of each month I get worried about the job situation - another month I have been unemployed.

I had a telephone interview with a food company last week, and they asked me to do some online tests over the weekend. They were really hard and I didn't get to see my score. I felt awful, like its just so embarrassing if I get a bad score, its horrible to think you have done bad at something. Especially since I feel I could have done better - all this unemployment has destroyed my brain.

But I just got a call from the person I had an interview with and she said I did really well in the tests! She said she didn't have the scores in front of her but I did above average. I now have another interview on site next week. I'm so pleased! Even if I don't get the job, I have got quite far through the interview process and I know a job like this is very competitive. Its a 12 month contact, so if I get it its the perfect amount of time for me to get stuck in, learn a lot and then decide where I want to go afterwards.

Its time to get a job now, so I need to try really hard in this interview. This has to go well!
 
With the current economy, half the college graduates I know haven't been able to find jobs. It's tough out there.

During on-line tests, if possible, take screen shots, so you can review the questions and your answers afterwards to give yourself a better idea of how you did. This will also help you improve your performance, during any subsequent testing.

To prepare for face-to-face interviews, it may help to conduct "mock interviews". Google "job interview questions" and practice answering questions with a friend. If possible, video tape your mock interviews sessions so you can see for yourself how you come across, paying attention to the way you hold yourself, and any unconscious mannerisms you may need to correct.

It may also help to learn the art of "mirroring", which is where you observe the person conducting the interview and subtly copy or "mirror" their mannerisms--just don't make it too obvious. This helps the identify with you, because people in general tend to like those who are most like themselves. It makes them feel more comfortable with you, and helps them see you as a good "fit" for the company.

If nothing else, preparation can help build your confidence, which automatically helps improve your presentation.

Best of luck!
 
Hey Littlemissvalentine,

I know it is nervewracking when going to Job interviews. Just try and remain calm and just do your best, you will be fine. You will get a job, dont worry. Even if you dont get this job, you will eventually get one. It is odd but when my husband( he is a teacher) well when he was out of work he applied everywhere, I mean he sent his resume in to 70 different places. Well there was one he really wanted but did not get that job. Well another place happened to call him( this happened 8 years ago), and he is still teaching there and is so happy he got that job.. I mean sometimes fate plays a role. Try not to be worried hon, everything will work out in the end...













I've been feeling pretty down over the last few days. If something gets me in a bad mood, I seem to be in a constant bad mood. I'm worried about money. And towards the end of each month I get worried about the job situation - another month I have been unemployed.

I had a telephone interview with a food company last week, and they asked me to do some online tests over the weekend. They were really hard and I didn't get to see my score. I felt awful, like its just so embarrassing if I get a bad score, its horrible to think you have done bad at something. Especially since I feel I could have done better - all this unemployment has destroyed my brain.

But I just got a call from the person I had an interview with and she said I did really well in the tests! She said she didn't have the scores in front of her but I did above average. I now have another interview on site next week. I'm so pleased! Even if I don't get the job, I have got quite far through the interview process and I know a job like this is very competitive. Its a 12 month contact, so if I get it its the perfect amount of time for me to get stuck in, learn a lot and then decide where I want to go afterwards.

Its time to get a job now, so I need to try really hard in this interview. This has to go well!
 
I couldn't advise on your specific industry but don't give up trying
You will get something soon life always has a way of bringing along the best opportunity at the best time... As long as you keep looking for it which it sounds like your doing all the right things already:ybiggrin:
 
Hi,
I just read through your thread and hope things get much better for you and know they will. I have to insert my newest favorite quote too..

"Dont wait for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain."

As a parent of a daughter with crohns and one in college, I can see some of the same problems arising.

My feeling is you are going to be the best you can be, and she is going to be the best she can be. As sisters, you will love and hate each other at times. You may be jealous of her right now, but you would be surprised to learn she may be jealous of you too. We people are like that :) She is not really thinking about what you are feeling, just what she is feeling.

If this Crohns has brought anything into our world, it is an awareness of the hardships others are facing. It is a compassion that many are lacking, not because they do it intentionally, but they have never had a real hardship in their lives.

The strength, compassion, and passion that you have now, will always be with you. Believe it or not, that is a gift.

I wish you the very best and cant wait to here of what you are doing next.
 
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Hello littlemissvalentine (that is a great handle)
I have just read your thread and just want to send you my very best wishes. The volunteer role you mention is really important as a lot of hospital patients do not eat properly and also you will have time to spend with them - good for you. I hope your interview goes well. Just remember what you have had to cope with recently and know that something good is just around the corner. You are still a bubba and there is a big world out there for you to explore and experience.
Look after yourself, go for it with the interview and take care.
Lots of hugs xxxx
 
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