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A "friend" stressed me out bad

A

Am1025

Hello All,

Just looking for some support I guess. My husband has Crohns, has for 6 years. He's done pretty well but needs his meds switched to Humira (on mercaptopurine) due to strictures and a few ulcers. All labs are great, feels great etc. But I've already been a little edgy due to that news recently. One of my dads best friends died from Crohns related complications in the early 90's during surgery (I know, its a different world now for treatment, all he had was Pred I think) but a "friend" texted me tonight to tell me a younger person just died due to crohns complications, severe stomach pain and refusal to go to the ER, went and their bowels were dead already and they died quickly after. She said she was telling me to "make sure we pay attention to my husband's symptoms" ok....why...WHY say something like that. I know the odds of this happening are almost non existent as long as you stay on top of your disease and I'm guessing this guy either hadn't or something idk. But it just really really freaked me out and made me terrified and hurt my feelings. My husband's doc has always told me after we first met that this disease while needs to be taken seriously is very very rarely if ever anymore "deadly" as long as you stay on top on yourself and dont go years without care and pay attention to warning signs of q blockage or something. Idk....it just hit me badly. Just looking for some kind words and positive feedback. Thanks to all
 
t-bone

t-bone

... that sounds like a very impactful and unfortunate situation ...
I certainly feel for you, that's kind of an insensistive thing for a friend to do and say.

I think many people don't understnad this condition well, if at all, so i usually consider the source before i take things too much to heart.

I wouldn't sweat the doom and gloom ,

... it'll never be perfect,
... or like it was before

but, with a good doc, and a motivated patient,
things can be managed pretty well
... with a supportive spouse and the right attitude and approach, there's lots even more room for good luck (and magic)

Many of us have lived long enough with this to seriously annoy our spouses, lol !



I think a good takeaway is you've got your husbands back, so nothing else matters
Just stay up on the symptoms, do your testing, put together a solid treatment plan and stay on it.

There's lots of good advice over in the diet, fitness and supplements subforum
... you'll find a way to get thru this together, and this too shall pass



things will just work out

Stay strong :)
 
A

Am1025

t-bone said:
... that sounds like a very impactful and unfortunate situation ...
I certainly feel for you, that's kind of an insensistive thing for a friend to do and say.

I think many people don't understnad this condition well, if at all, so i usually consider the source before i take things too much to heart.

I wouldn't sweat the doom and gloom ,

... it'll never be perfect,
... or like it was before

but, with a good doc, and a motivated patient,
things can be managed pretty well
... with a supportive spouse and the right attitude and approach, there's lots even more room for good luck (and magic)

Many of us have lived long enough with this to seriously annoy our spouses, lol !



I think a good takeaway is you've got your husbands back, so nothing else matters
Just stay up on the symptoms, do your testing, put together a solid treatment plan and stay on it.

There's lots of good advice over in the diet, fitness and supplements subforum
... you'll find a way to get thru this together, and this too shall pass



things will just work out

Stay strong :)
Click to expand...
Thank you so much!
 
cmack

cmack

Moderator
Staff member
Location
Southern British Columbia
Am1025 said:
Hello All,

Just looking for some support I guess. My husband has Crohns, has for 6 years. He's done pretty well but needs his meds switched to Humira (on mercaptopurine) due to strictures and a few ulcers. All labs are great, feels great etc. But I've already been a little edgy due to that news recently. One of my dads best friends died from Crohns related complications in the early 90's during surgery (I know, its a different world now for treatment, all he had was Pred I think) but a "friend" texted me tonight to tell me a younger person just died due to crohns complications, severe stomach pain and refusal to go to the ER, went and their bowels were dead already and they died quickly after. She said she was telling me to "make sure we pay attention to my husband's symptoms" ok....why...WHY say something like that. I know the odds of this happening are almost non existent as long as you stay on top of your disease and I'm guessing this guy either hadn't or something idk. But it just really really freaked me out and made me terrified and hurt my feelings. My husband's doc has always told me after we first met that this disease while needs to be taken seriously is very very rarely if ever anymore "deadly" as long as you stay on top on yourself and dont go years without care and pay attention to warning signs of q blockage or something. Idk....it just hit me badly. Just looking for some kind words and positive feedback. Thanks to all

You have my support. That was definitely a touch too much from an insensitive friend. I hope everything works out with you and yours. People are so ignorant of what they say to others. I think in this case it sounds like ignorance rather than malice. I would be upset too. XX

-C
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