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Acceptance

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
I think that nobody can truly understand any disease they don't go through themselves. My family is the most accepting since they see it firsthand. Friends try to appear compassionate but I think they just don't know what to say. As for dating and romance I think they are not compassionate and generally want the quickest exit that's why the goal is getting the person to like you before they find out in my opinion.

What are your thoughts Aly?
 
Well in my experience I lost almost all of my friends after getting sick. It's almost like they felt it was contagious or somthing. Or like you said they just don't know what to say.
But dating has been hard. As a bisexual I found guys were not understanding at all and I didn't know when or how to break to them that I had a disease. And Everytime I did they immediately looked at me as defective. Now my current girlfriend who lives with me which makes it even harder because she has to go through it all with me, I have a hard time with because she is there for me in presence but lacking compassion and love that I need to be shown especially recently. I was just in the hospital for two weeks. I tell her how I feel but she doesn't see it. She thinks she's doing enough by getting me food if I need it. Etc. but the emotional support is not there if that makes sense. Do you know what I mean? Or am I being silly?
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
How is she normally? Do you feel she is withdrawing? Some people handle tough situations in different ways but it doesn't mean they don't care. Obviously not knowing your gf and the dynamics I'm not sure but I'm just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Either way, you feel neglected and your feelings are real and valid. It's good you are expressing yourself to her though because the more people hear it and see what we go through the better chance they'll be more understanding.

I'd talk to her and tell her how much you appreciate her shopping or cooking but that you really also just sometimes want to talk or have her express her feelings about the illness. She may be having a difficult time showing emotion thinking you don't want her to and she may feel she needs to be strong for the both of you.
 
I think you're right. She already has a hard time expressing her feelings. So I guess she probably is just at a loss of what to say anymore. I do feel she is withdrawing more though lately.
 
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