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Almost Lost My Mind

Today, the straw on the camel's back broke and I almost lost all control of myself at the grocery store.

My vision has been blurring and I went to an ophthalmologist today at the advice of my GI. The blurred vision is caused by the Prednisone and my cornea is bending due to swelling. The good news is it will probably go away when I tapper of the effective but scary steroid.

I do have cataracts that are small, but a a coming attraction. I'm not sure if that is the trigger for my mind leaving me ready to start tearing down everything in site, throwing all the items on the floor and screaming like a maniac. I guess I'm just angry that every week it seems something else goes wrong. The stress finally caught up, no matter how positive I try to stay on the road the elusive remission that has so far just been a fantasy.

My blood work showed I do not have any antibodies after my crash rejecting Remicade. My doctor still has to go over the report, so hopefully I will soon get on board to another treatment, Humira, Entivio, Stelara are all on the table. Stelara is the least likely, at $30,000 to $70,000 a year cost. It's difficult to get approval.

I did not act out my lost mind and now am calmed down. Eating a good meal helped and getting back on track with my other drugs set me straight. I can't imagine getting arrested and trying to get through a night in jail with no meds and a Crohn's attack. On the positive side, I guess that would prevent any sexual assault.

Cheers and good health to all who read this forum. We can all get better with the right path and support of so many wonderful people here and other support venues.
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