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Always afraid

Don't want to seem like a Debby downer but I'm having a rough time. Emotionally, physically and mentally. My mother recently asked me a question, "when did I stop living?" My answer, I stopped when I was 15. My undiagnosed dark age. I was so happy when I got diagnosed--others would be confused--but I waited a long time to get some form of validation. I was tired of being accused of seeking attention because I was the middle child.

Soon as the diagnosis came on though everything changed quickly. Started to get diagnosed with other issues quickly after and I have not stopped to be able to just breathe.. my anxiety has skyrocketed.. I've been back on antidepressants(have been on them on and off since I was 15) and it works great for awhile. I start to feel less anxious and for a few days things look up but then I'm snapped back into reality. Another diagnosis. Paying for Meds... stress from my job. And I know these are typical adult tasks but I just get so quickly overwhelmed by it. Especially when it all gets pulled on me at once.

I've been to counselling a lot and it's great for awhile. Venting my feelings but then your good fir a few days and your back to reality. I almost feel like I need counselling on the daily but who can afford that?


I'm open to suggestions. I keep myself very busy but my mind still wanders..
 
I played around with my antidepressants (with my therapist, of course) before I found the right ones and dosages to help with my anxiety and depression. That said, I still get down but not frozen to the point of inactivity as I was five years ago. With so many medical problems it IS hard to take a breath and relax even a little. Was your Mom trying to be helpful when she asked? Have you thought about a support group like this forum but where you could actually see people in similar situations?
 
I played around with my antidepressants (with my therapist, of course) before I found the right ones and dosages to help with my anxiety and depression. That said, I still get down but not frozen to the point of inactivity as I was five years ago. With so many medical problems it IS hard to take a breath and relax even a little. Was your Mom trying to be helpful when she asked? Have you thought about a support group like this forum but where you could actually see people in similar situations?
I think most people have to play around with their antidepressant medication before they find the right one. Sometimes, even the one you are on for a while can stop working. I started on Paxil when I was diagnosed at 16 and that was a HORRIBLE experience. Zoloft worked better for several years and then just stopped working. I've tried Lexapro, Effexor, Cymbalta, Abilify, Prozac, etc. All of them either had pretty nasty side effects for me (I'm very sensitive to medications) or didn't work. I'm currently on a combo of Wellbutrin XL and Celexa which are helping so much! What works for one person may not work for the next. There are so many different treatments out there that you have to be flexible and realize it may take a while, but, with time, you will get better. :)
 
Hi MizzSarah, really sorry to hear about your troubles with anxiety. I'm new here and undiagnosed, but I have had an experience on antidepressants before and also attended counselling.
I watched a short video years ago where someone depressed said something that has stayed with me, she was saying, regardless of how people feel about using medication to treat depression and anxiety, we know for a fact that daylight, exercise, and healthy eating are all proven to have a positive effect on how we feel. I remember at the time it seemed too overwhelming to make efforts on all those fronts, so I focused on getting outside during the day and doing some exercise even if it's just a walk. I think it's hard especially at this time of year when we get so little daylight.
Hope you can begin to feel well soon
 
MizzSarah,

You are not a Debbie Downer. When I read what you wrote, it sounds like my experience! I was relieved to be diagnosed- not because I have been accused of wanting attention but because I was finally validated that the pain, sickness etc is not in my head. Sometimes doctors and others make you feel that you are either a hypocondriac, exaggerating, or in your head. When the CT scan and scope proved what I had. Ahh relief I’m not crazy!! I had 2 aneurysms last year and had surgery to save my life along with crohns, gastritis, endometriosis. Just like you diagnosed kept coming. You mention that you keep being snapped back to reality. I decided to face my reality of my circumstances. I have been enduring this for the last 13 months. Last year in October I had the 1st surgery for the aneurysms that was unsuccessful. Almost died. Then a 2nd surgery in Nov 2016. Successful but very painful afterwards. When I faced that I can dude I decided to review my life, relationships,, what I’m grateful for, AND what I’m mad about. I wrote those feelings down in a diary and the have reread them. It’s helped me have direction. I had a good cry several times and then decided to make some changes. Don’t feel bad because your overwhelmed... when your this sick EVERYTHING is overwhelming. Your feelings are normal. It took courage for you to share what you did!
 
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