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Anyone here from Toronto?

hello, is there anyone else here from Toronto? i am a 29 year old single woman, no kids... i work full-time and go to school part-time.

i'm trying to find a local buddy who 'gets it'... i don't necessarily need to sit around talking about crohn's all day, but when i was in the hospital, on the GI floor with other patients going through similar issues... there was just this unspoken understanding/bond, though this was just in passing, saying a simple 'hello... good luck'

i'm at the point where i'm feeling more and more alone. even though i have people in my life that care about me, i feel like i can't talk to anyone about this crohn's thing....here's why:

-can't talk to my friends about it much, cuz they truly don't 'get it' and i don't wanna be a complainer or depressing...

- can't talk to family members, especially not my mom, cuz even with basic updates, she's super worried about me... i'm her only child. i don't like to make my mom worry about me.... she also lost her father a few months ago, so she's extra scared about my well being... my mom also doesn't get it.

- can't talk about it to coworkers, since it's quite personal... and even though we're a tight team and i feel they are supportive of me, i don't think it's appropriate to get into too many details about my health, plus i don't want them to feel sorry for me or think i'm incapable of doing my job.
i'm also very embarrassed to have to always mention yet AGAIN 'oh i'm sorry, i have an appointment this week blah blah'.... i take transit and it takes EXTRA time traveling back n forth, and is quite exhausting. (i'm sick of these appointments).

- i won't even tell acquaintances who seem cool or seem like i could get closer to them, because i'm embarrassed. there i said it. i'm embarrassed to say i have crohn's to certain people in my life (especially men), because i realize they'll simply run to google and see how gross this disease is... and think the worst... even though my case isn't quite you're typical crohnie. again, they won't 'get it'

this forum has been cool. lots of supportive, informative and helpful people. yes i can relate to some things here... but honestly, the forum thing isn't my style. as you can see, i type WAY too much it's hard for me to sum up my thoughts or feelings more concisely... i just don't feel comfortable expressing everything i'm going through by using text.... and although you're all pretty cool... you're just text on a computer screen.

i'm gonna try to go to a support group. but they only happen once a month, not sure if that's what i need. but i'll try it.

so now i have written my weekly crohn's forum novel entry. lol, doubt anyone will read it all.... please if you live in toronto don't be scared away by my long post!!!
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I WAS from Toronto but alas moved to this "inferior" country called the United States lol about 3 years ago. You can talk to me anytime girlfriend and I totally get what you mean when you say no one "gets it" The only one who understands what having a chronic illness is, is someone who damn well has one! My niece has type 1 diabetes and she is the only one in my life who really "gets it" She lived with me while going through her teens and we helped each other when we were sick - we have this "bond" that no one in the family can understand - my mom is great and had bowel cancer and had a stoma BUT they reversed it and she has been cancer free for 8 years now with no return of symptoms - so when she says "I know how you feel" I feel like saying "but, yours is cured!" "Mine goes on and on and on..." Oh well, just to let you know you have a Canadian ear here too - what part of TO are you in? I used to live years ago downtown in Cabbagetown - then the east end - then Etobicoke...
I totally get that!

I must keep reminding myself that I am not having things that bad at the moment and remain optimistic that it is my body as well as the pred that is doing good things. I think I'm too bust worrying about what MIGHT happen as opposed to what IS happening, which is actually not that much really - insides feel good but mind not so much however!

It is really hard with other people not understanding. I was talking to my Dad about it all yesterday and how scared I am and everything and that perhaps it would have been easier to have cancer. He was mortified as is everyone by the C word. But I explained to him that oftentimes they can treat and cure cancer and then it's gone. Sure there is always a chance of it coming back again but it seems from reading everyones tales on here that with Crohns it is INEVITABLE!

I'm hoping to find some stories of people doing well for long, long periods as am feeling quite hopeless at prsent which is made worse by the people who dont get it. Though how can we actually expect them to if they aren't living it!!??

I know it isn;t the same as the real thing but I am more than happy to 'talk' one on one through here if you need a buddy. I'm a little older than you (38) but also single and feel very alone in this at times.

We must stay strong though!!!


One Badass Dude
Hi cheeky!

Toronto has probably the most active local chapter of the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation. Looks like they've usual got a least one event a month. Check out www.ccfc.ca .

I'm in Calgary, so that's a ways off. I do know, that I volunteered at the M&M Charity BBQ this spring and had a real BLAST. I met some folks in the same boat, even if it was only for an afternoon. I plan on volunteering for more things with my local chapter. My philosophy is that if I show I want to help others, others will want to help me.
@ jester - you're right, i could find support in someone who suffers from a chronic illness, not necessarily crohn's... but apparently i have super healthy friends and coworkers lol ...though in my family, there are some people who have health conditions, not really anything relatable... or i'm not close enough with them to discuss it. (e.g. - i know of 2 cousins have M.S., another cousin has type 1 diabetes but i dont talk to any of them)

@carolyn - that's funny, i spent 3 years in downtown toronto in the cabbagetown area, but since last year i've been living in etobicoke ..lol why'd you have to move?! and i hear ya, it's not the same situation to have a curable disease/illness

@ shaz, glad your meds are helping you, hope you continue to feel better.

@ johnny - you're right about ccfc, i did check out a symposium a few months ago, it was very informative... but i didn't meet anyone... i have been considering volunteering in some way for ccfc, i'm just waiting until my school studies are finished, so i have more free time... you make a very valid point about helping others.

thanks all of you for the quick and thoughtful replies... and much needed support! :) as usual, you guys 'get it'