Being tired makes me a bad parent

[buttER]

Hi there

I notice when I am tired I don't have enough patience with my children (they are 6 and 3). I just want them to do what I ask, I don't have the patience for them messing around or ignoring what I am saying or doing things the way they want to do it. And then I feel bad that they get upset because I get angry with them.

They are just moments in the day - there is time for cuddles as well, but I know I am not much fun to be around. I hate being like that.

 

[4peace]

I am SO familiar with the mom guilt..... I completely understand. And add to the tiredness, the times when you don't feel well and don't want to play. My son is 11 and he still sometimes will cry and say "I hate Crohns Disease! You always have a tummy ache and you're too tired to play a lot". This CRUSHES me. But then when I do feel well we are playing, laughing and all is forgotten. On days when I just can't do super physical playing we opt for board games and a snuggle. I can tell you this: Your children will grow up compassionate and aware of others because of your illness.
My son is very in tune with how I'm feeling and as he gets older, he wants to help me more. He will say "mom, I can tell you don't feel good, go lay on the couch and I"ll do it "(whatever it is) and will sometimes just snuggle me because he knows I"m not feeling great.
Your babies are younger and so it is much harder at that age! But it will get better, I promise!

 

[buttER]

Thank you for that. My 6 year old accepts now when I say I don't feel well and I can't do something with her. I have let her down so many times with promises of doing something together and then having to back out. My 3 year old will also show some sympathy but obviously she is less independent so I have to give her more attention no matter what. I am sure she will understand more later.

I hope they grow up to be compassionate, IBD or not.

It's the irritability that gets to me, I shout far too much.