• Welcome to Crohn's Forum, a support group for people with all forms of IBD. While this community is not a substitute for doctor's advice and we cannot treat or diagnose, we find being able to communicate with others who have IBD is invaluable as we navigate our struggles and celebrate our successes. We invite you to join us.

Blood Test Results...and other stuff

My Butt Hurts

Hey guys -
This is more of a vent, but there is a question or two in here too.
Feel free to stop reading - it might get long.
I swear - nothing can ever be normal for me. I went to get my blood tests for Imuran, which I am supposed to get every 2 months. I got to the place at 4:31. It closed at 4:30. I drove to another one that was open until 5. I have a standing order there, which means I don't have to bring a form with me - just tell them my name and it's in the computer. Well - the girl said there was nothing in the computer. "What tests are you getting?" Me - "I don't know, liver function or kidney or something?" She tries again - nothing. She calls my docs office, they're closed. She calls someone else, asks "Why does she have two medical record numbers?" they don't know, and don't know what to do about the standing order. While she's waiting for them to figure something out, I asked her if I could get a semen analysis (saw it on the form - thought it sounded like fun). She said no, but not because I am female, because you have to schedule that 24 hours in advance. Finally she looks up my previous records, finds out what tests I had, and said that the last lady didn't do something correctly on the computer, so I got lost or whatever. Good thing there was no one else there, cuz I shut the place down until 5PM. Funny thing was - I swear I bonded with the girl cuz I was there so long. We actually had a good time in the end. She asked me to lock the door as I was leaving so I pretended that someone was trying to come in, and I wouldn't let them. I really got her on that one. ha!

So - my questions -
It seems like everyone on here gets their blood test results, and knows exactly what they are talking about. I have seen MiniCooper rattle off numbers like crazy - and understands them. I don't even know what my blood tests are - and I NEVER hear about the results from my doc, let alone get a printout.
I asked the girl what they were testing for -
Alt & Ast
CBC diff
Alkaline Phosphate
(Duh - I just looked them all up, now I don't need to know what they are. I still don't know what t he numbers are supposed to be, but maybe I will ask this time.)

And all of you know your blood pressure and what the number means, and I have no idea. All they say is "You're a teacher and your blood pressure is that low??"

And I don't even know where my Crohn's is located.

And what the heck was my question anyways??
I am just feeling like an airhead today...
airhead onwards my dear burp!

i know exactly what you mean. before my crohns, i had such an incredible mind for knowledge and stats etc. but now i have no idea!

i get those blood tests for my methotrexate, and i have no idea what they're looking for, what the numbers mean, and why it has to be such a strain every time i go there figuring out who i am and where i live on their computer system. its rediculous, seriously.

as long as the doc's say everythings fine, and felling that way as well, i really have no care either.

i'm sick of this disease lately, i go through the daily routine, and now i've forgotton where i was going with my add-on to your rant.

spell check on my PC doesnt accept crohns as a word, it doesnt know it:( if you right click on a word to get spelling variations, there is a thing that says ADD TO DICTIONARY, so i did that. now my computer thinks it knows what Crohns is, it has no idea.

My Butt Hurts

I think your PC DOES know what Crohn's is. It seems to have some really painful diarreah. Oh wait - that's diarreah of your mouth. We're used to your pain.:ylol2:
Good rant Jeddie.
I was cracking up when I read your original post, MBH. I had a very similar experience right before Christmas. I had to get my blood tested before I left town for the holidays. I called the lab on Chritmas Eve to see if they were open and she said they would be there until noon. I run over there at 11;30 and there is a sign on the door that they are closed for the holiday and "Merry Christmas". the door was locked, nobody around...and I had just called! I was ticked. So, after the holidays, already a week late, I take an early lunch and run over at 11:30 b/c they are closed from 12-1. I get there and the place is packed and she tells me they aren't taking anyone else before lunch and I would have to go to the other lab which was open from 12-1. Pissed off again, I drive over there and give them my script (forgot to mention I have a new doc and my standing order was for my old doc). They take one look at it and say "What the hell is this chicken scratch? what test is he ordering? I just shrug my shoulders...CBC, liver profile? not really sure. They try to call my doc and no one there knows! They end up taking my blood and sending me on my way...I'm still not sure if my doc ever got those results! I am now back with my original doc and my nice clean standing order and everything is great...except that, like you, I still don't know what tests they do or what the results are! As long as my heart is still beating and my doc isn't calling me telling me to stop taking my meds, I just roll with it!:)
Well the CBC diff is to see if your immune system is being blunted too much. And bilirubin is liver function. They're basically making sure they don't kill you :)
You need to request the lab results. Either through the hospital your doctor is associated with, or through the clinic. Every time I have an appointment I go the next day I work to the medical records office, fill out a form, and then they print out any records they have and hand them to me. My doctors don't even know that I've seen all of this so I know when they're bullshitting me.
The lab that I use, I just go in a few days after my labs are drawn, show them my license and they print me off a copy, so I always know what my numbers are before my doctor calls.
Wait, and how would they test for the semen?

Anyways, I go through crap like that all the time with these labs/offices....but as far as the medical jargon, I understand all that because Im a smart fella...I seriously just remember that stuff and I study it and pick up on it. Then I hear it, repeat it, I start telling the nurses and GI's in "med-lingo" my symptoms/concerns/questions..I was the first one when I got my Thyroid ultrasound who knew the anacronym for "MNG" on the form I had. 3 nurses couldn't figure it out for 5 minutes, and I overheard the last one (this was October), and I said I knew what it meant because I read up on goiters extensively. The radiologist said she never met a patient who knew it: Multi Nodular Goiter...Ascending Colon, Transverse, Chimeric immuno modulators..etc... I was diagnosed 2 years ago, and I want to know what the hell I'm up against. Even though Isla made me feel like she wanted me to give up, I will fight Crohns until my last breath, and that means knowing my enemy.