Body feeling fine, mind not.

[KayleighMeek]

Really looking for a bit of support at the moment don't know what to do. The symptoms of my crohn's have subsided a lot I still get occasional pain but nothing compared to what I have had to deal with before. But it feels a lot more difficult because I just feel so sad. I don't like talking to people about how I feel and always feel a bit uncomfortable but I'm really struggling to get by. I've debated going to the docs but I know all they will suggest is counceling which I tried and didn't like and then offer me a pill. The pill scares me the most Im scared it will change me, I know it won't, but its still a thought that crosses my mind. I also feel that I am letting me partner down he does so much for me and he makes me happy,I don't want him to think it has anything to do with him.
Don't know what to do I dread going to work but when I'm off work I find I don't want to do anything eat, sleep or anything else. Really don't know what to do could it be meds I'm on humira.
So confused.

 

[Guest]

hi Kayleigh.. just wanted to say well done on sharing this with us - it sounds like you keep a lot to yourself, so it must have been a big step for you to post this.

i also used to hide my feelings, put a false smile on my face and get through my days - the trouble with doing that is that everyone thinks you're fine - when you're not.

i really would recommend you start opening up to your partner, and to your doctor, about how sad you're feeling - you need people in your life to know how things are with you, so you can get the support you need.

counselling might work if you tried it again, a lot of the success, in my opinion, depends on the counsellor you get and how you gel with him/her.. and if they suggest you need some medication help to get you through this patch, it's worth considering - might just be for a very short time.

good luck honey, keep us posted.

 

[KayleighMeek]

I am going to go see my doc see if I can sort out a few problems that aren't helping with my mood. I do keep a lot to myself I don't like to be seen as causing a fuss or getting emotional for no reason. Or what people think is no reason. I don't really tell anyone outside of family or close friends about my condition so this forum does help me.
I really want to feel better but can't see a way out at the minute my mind is constantly racing with so many thoughts and worries, even finding it hard to write down why i feel this way.
Thank you for replying really need the support at the minute need to sort my life out.

 

[AZMOM]

Kayleigh - I so get it and I'm the Mom, not the patient! I think that anyone with a chronic disease like IBD has to be an incredibly strong person and clearly you are too. That strength sometimes makes it harder to tell anyone that things aren't "ok".

I do agree with Dingbat that counseling might help. And you know, if you need medication for a little while, there is really no shame in that either. I had to ask the doctor for help after Claire's initial crisis was over. I wasn't sleeping, mind racing, feelings of dread over every little thing, felt like I was crumbling to pieces and beating myself up over it because I thought I should be "happy" and "fine" because she was so much better. . It was hard to sit there and articulate it to her but once I did, I was really glad. I did take something for awhile and it really helped.

You are really brave to put your feelings out on the forum and I definitely want you to know you aren't alone! Let us know what we can do to support you and how you're doing.

Thinking of you,

 

[Cookie]

Kaleigh,

I don't mean to hijack your thread by posting this link here, but I thought it was an appropriate place, so I hope you don't mind.

When I read the title of your thread, I responded immediately. I have been struggling similarly recently, mostly because I have been experiencing different symptoms and I'm not sure how to interpret them. Then I realized that maybe I should not be trying to interpret them at all...if I did not know that I had Crohn's disease, would I be worried about the fact that I am not pooping a lot? Probably not.

This situation forced me to realize that, like it or not, this disease is a part of my life. I have always taken to the attitude that this disease will not control me, I will control it. Then I feel like a failure for worrying about things like this, like the disease has taken control of me...do you know what I mean? Anyway, now I'm just babbling.

Below is a link to a website I found that talks about coping with a chronic illness. It's kind of lengthy, but it makes some interesting points. Maybe it can offer you a little bit of perspective.

http://www.alpineguild.com/COPING WITH CHRONIC ILLNESS.html

Good luck in finding the answers that you need. And most importantly, remember that you are not alone and there is no shame in feeling overwhelmed even when you're feeling well. I wish you all the best.

 

[AZMOM]

Cookie - What a GREAT article! For caregivers too, I think. I'm going to share it on the parents' forum, I hope you don't mind.

Hugs,

 

[Cookie]

No problem Julie...please feel free to share with anyone who might find it helpful. We have enough to deal with with this disease without factoring in the mental baggage that comes with it. I hope everyone out there finds the support they need to keep them in the best physical and mental health possible!

 

[Terriernut]

What a fabulous article! Thank you so much for sharing this Cookie!
Misty

 

[KayleighMeek]

Thank you cookie for posting the thread read it and can identify were I am at the moment and can see the stages I have already been through.
I phoned the doctor and I'm waiting for a call back really think going and being really open with them will help, just have to be brave.
Went to see my mum today because I felt bad and had a chat with her about things and she told me she doesn't like seeing me like this she thinks its her fault. My mum has always had depression so I really don't want to get her down either, but need to stop putting a brave face on things and tell people I'm not coping.
May need to think about what to do with work, doing 12 hour shifts at the minute don't think that's helping plus I'm studying as I want to become a biomedical scientist eventually. May have to put things off for a while and concentrate on getting myself better, even though I thought I was already there.

Thank you so much again for the posts you don't know how much it means to me knowing there is such a lovely and kind group of people just a few clicks away. x

 

[Caleb9849]

Kayleigh, sorry to hear how hard it's going. I know how it goes. I've been feeling for the last year or so that I'm going genuinely insane....it doesn't help when you add the possibility that my Humira is giving me nightmares and confusion....

Hang in there. The struggle can be mental and emotional just as much as physical....at least we're all there in the boat with you! :ghug:

 

[ruby]

Kayleigh i understand your depression. It can really get to you when your constantly sick, and all you want is to be fixed, or be "normal". I have seen my family dr. for my depression and she put me on cymbalta. I am still the exact same person just that I am dealing with my depression a lot better, and have a more positive outlook than before. Im still down, but out of the depression state. I hope you can find away to deal with the depression whether through counselling, medication or meditation. Hang in there. Like Caleb said we're all in the same boat here.