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Boundaries

I wanted to post to ask folks if they have problems setting boundaries with their family. My older sister gets so offended and angry when I tell her that I'm not feeling well and that I'm not up to hosting a visit from her and her family. I love my sister, my BIL, and my three nieces, but it's hard to cook dinner and make sure everything is clean. I also work from home about 50 hours a week, so I used weekends to recharge and to spend time with my children and hubby. She makes me feel selfish for saying that I'm not up for it, and she sometimes says, "You're always sick!" in a way that makes me feel "less than" for having a chronic disease. She will also take the cheap shot of saying that I don't love my nieces which is sooooooo far from the truth--they are sweet and wonderful girls and they've had my heart since the moment they were born. She offers to chip in and help, and will even tell me not to clean, but I can't just not clean our dirty bathroom or wash sheets for her. It's also the 48 hours of noise and constant activity.

So, my question is, has anyone had to put their foot down and set some pretty stiff boundaries and has it hurt your relationship with your family?
 
Hi Sybil,

Could you get someone else to speak with your sister. She seems to be a bit unreasonable. Or send her an information leaflet about Crohn's detailing the fatigue etc.

My husband once had stiff words with my mum and far from making things worse it improved the situation. This may be because my hubby is very quiet and mild mannered and so it came as a bit of a shock to her!
 
Could they not come and stay in a hotel near by so you can see them, but it's not as exhausting as having company a solid 48 hours? Just a thought. I am fortunate in that my family live close by, so I see them little and often. And they're never offended if I drop to sleep when I am round there!
 
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