Can't get back on track

[JerseyIrish79]

I've been fighting Crohn's for nearly six years now, my latest hospitalization was in March and have had some struggles since then but am feeling rather ok, physcially as of late with only spurts of pain and discomfort. However, in that time I've had a bunch of negative vibes hitting me. Without rambling too much, I pretty much feel that due to some of the f'ed up circumstances I've run into since getting out of the hospital and back to work, I feel as if I lost a great of my inspiration and hope for the future. The emotional effects have been difficult to deal with, especially knowing that, mostly due to Crohn's, I'm nowhere near where I should be in life and just thinking about it nearly has me in tears.

I look at things and can barely see the bright side of anything anymore. I feel as if I have nothing. I was forced to move home, having a hard time finding a place,my illness has cost me promotions several times, and have been discouraged from any major growth. I pretty much feel as if I'm dealing with this alone. I have great friends, but we're adults and all have a ton of things going on and they can't always be there to lend a shoulder. I flat out can't talk to my family, since they tend to either shrug off or ignore me when I speak of anything serious. If I'm bowled over in pain, then their there, but if I need advice on the best ways to get back on track it's like talking to a wall.

I just want to bring some happiness and peace of mind back to my life. There are plenty of things I struggled with before Crohn's but now it makes the difficult things so much more difficult. I'm a pretty simple guy, I just want some stability and for people to give me a chance that's not based on my health history.

 

[Perfer]

im sorry for all the shit you have to deal with, not having peace of mind and stability is very hard to deal with. I really hope things get better for you!

 

[Trysha]

Hi JerseyIrish79,
Sorry for all the negative things happening to you and hope you will find a way to cope.
Having to find a home is very stressful and so is losing promotions.
I see you have Irish in your name, and as you may know the Irish are famous for their fighting abilities and coming up from down.
So if you dig deep enough you may be able to stir up some genes to get you going.
Getting down to the serious stuff have you had some blood work done recently?
It could be you are getting short on the Vit B12 and iron stores among other things so it could be good to talk to your doctor regarding how you are feeling and get a full blood picture done ie CBC, Sed Rate CRP, Vit B12 and iron analysis.
I have found that exercise can be helpful and it can be as simple as a nice walk,or
going to the special gym where exercises are light and organised by the kinesiologist.
It is good to have friends but I know what you mean about not prevailing too much upon their generosity.You also want to maintain your own independence.
You have lots of friends on this forum all ready to help you.
Coping with crohn's is not easy and runs the gamut of emotions as well as enduring the pain and inconvenience of all that happens to us.
But---when life hands us lemons we make lemonade.
Feel better soon
Hugs and best wishes
Trysha

 

[fromthegut]

I can realte. i can't seem to get back on track either. everything went down hill. too many deaths and my own *near8 death experince that I am still working on. Not too mention that being sick is not afforable !!

 

[Abby]

Keep track of your Vit D too! I feel myself going down when I'm not taking enough.

 

[Jane]

Hey JerseyIrish -

It might be time to talk to a professional psychologist/therapist. I went to one of the CCFA education talks awhile ago and the GI doctor giving the talk noted how depression is common among crohn's patients and quite understandable! We've got a disease that we can't control and that can greatly impact our lives.

A psychologist/therapist may be good to talk with and may help you come up with some strategies for dealing with the day to day struggles.

I've recently hit rock bottom emotionally as well and am planning to see someone. Cognitive behavioral therapy has been suggested to me. I'm finding it hard to find a psychologist/therapist who has experience with crohn's patients but I have found some who have experience with patients dealing with other chronic conditions (e.g., diabetes, chronic pain, cancer, etc.).

Good luck!

Jane
(A jersey Irish girl as well!)

 

[MariaDroste]

Don't lose hope. When we are going down the slope, we only tend to see the people who are above us and realize how badly we failed in life not be a part of them. But we tend to overlook the group who are below us; the ones who are in a worse situation than us. I think you should try mental counseling to get your confidence back. And, the more you will think about depressing things, the more you will find yourself getting stuck in depression and loneliness. Just keep the intent and determination to come out of it alive. Remind yourself every day that 'Yes! I can do it.' Once you come out of the sickness, you will be able to witness a bright sunny day again