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Circumstances beyond my control make me a very mad boy!!

Greetings all, I know it may not be the most normal to to make introductions on the vent part of the forum but that's what i'm here to do mostly so here goes, with a little background first.

I am a married single earner with a doting wife and 2 lovely kids and a 3rd on the way. I have been diagnosed with crohn's for 3 years it is mostly under control. I also am plagued with a host of other problems ranging from diabetes, nerve problems, and various minor autoimmune disorders. I am hypertensive and have high cholesterol and low testosterone to boot. The latest is hypercalcemia likely caused by a benign tumor on one or more of my parathyroid glands. I am in the early stages of kidney failure from a combination of these miladies.

I have job I don't like, they have reduced my hours and they often fail to pay my insurance premiums. I don't feel secure enough to incur a surgery bill or any other kind of bill in case they don't pay.

I have been applying to other jobs that and continually get the door slammed in my face because I am known throughout the community as the sick guy that cant do any work and for the ones that don't already know my current employer is more than willing to badmouth me. I fully understand why a business wouldn't want me but since we're being honest I don't want them either. I'm sick of working, I'm sick of everything and just wish I would f#@$ing die sometimes. The stress of providing for my family in the face of all this is becoming unbearable and I see no way out. The only thing that keeps me going is my loving family but even when I look at them I look knowing that I am failing them and when this shitty employer has had enough of me we will have to leave our house as a further insult heaped to my unending shame and torment of failure to provide.

internet do your worst
 
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I'm sorry you're having such a horrible time. :ghug:
Stress is going to make your condition worse. You should do whatever you can to relieve it. Does your wife know how stressed out you are? Is it possible for you to work from home, or switch to something less demanding? I hope tomorrow will be better. Hang in there.
 

cmack

Moderator
Staff member
Chronermusic,

Man you do have it tough! I lost my wife and son but fortunately not my life. By the way I'm sure my son will call me up one day and let me know where his mother has taken him to.

These diseases are really rough and I think you deserve much better. I encourage you to look at nutritionfacts.org It helped me to lose weight and have better health in general. I have no stake in this outfit so don't think I'm conning you. You deserve far better than this and it sounds like you have complicated health issues. Some of which I have never dealt with for sure!

I want to help any way I can even if it is just for you to vent anger. I will be a sounding board. I'm OK with that. Please reach out to me or someone else, nobody want's you to pass on.

PM me if you want to vent or discuss problems in your life. I have had many myself. I really like people! (especially the sick ones) I was a mess in the past. (I will respond to you)

I hope and pray for you to have better days ahead.

Peace and positive thoughts,

cmack
 
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