Colonoscopy advice? Oh yeah, Ive got some of that.
Vaseline or bepanthen your ring, cos if you dont, you might find you cant poopy without screaming. This doesnt happen to everyone, and doesnt happen to everyone everytime, but it can happen and you dont want it to happen to you
Got an Ipad, or a tablet or other such smallish handheld device? Awesome, load that thing up with a tv series you have been dyin to catch up on, or a movie you wanna watch and make sure its charged.
If you share your loo with a male, tell him he will die if he leaves the loo seat up anytime during the evening you are drinkin that stuff, cos if you make a rush into the loo and you gotta waste extra time gettin the seat down, you might be too late, or if you dont waste the time and you sit on the cold porcelain, you aint gonna be real happy either. Also just leave the light on the whole time, it saves time, and you wanna do that!
Is it winter time? cos you might wanna get an old sheet or blanket to leave in the loo to pull up over your knees, lets face it, you gonna be there a while you might as well be comfy as you can be given the circumstances.
Do whatever you have to do to get that nasty prep down. Plenty of ice, to keep it super cold is a bonus, and helps to mask the taste a lil bit, so does a straw, one of the big ones you get in a frozen coke from Mcdonalds is pure awesome. I load mine up with straight cordial as well.
You get about half to an hour once you start drinkin to before you start poopin, and you dont get a lot of warning that poopin is gonna start, and if you are anything like me, you wanna get down as much as you can straight up because once the poopin starts you dont get a lot of time to get the rest down.
Lil tip I have learnt, yeah, they might say you gotta down four liters of that nasty stuff, but Ive still been scoped with a decent enough view after only a liter and half. Of course, I lied and said three litres was all I could manage cos I didnt want them saying oh its a waste of time we wont be able to see anything.......but dont tell them you only had a lil bit. And the smaller amount is only gonna give an ok view, not an excellent view, and certainly wont be any good if you didnt low residue for two days and liquid only the day before you drank the nasty stuff.
Leave your ipad, or your tablet or your whatever in the loo on pause if you choose to leave the loo at any time, because when you go back you wont have much time to collect things on the way. Oh, and when you think youve finished poopin, you havent. And its a top idea when you finally do finish poopin to sleep with a towel between your legs, for just in case. hey dont laugh, we all learn the hard way.
The actual procedure, they tell me is a peice of cake. heres the bad news. Its never been a peice of cake for me. I actually swore and cried and moaned and complained a lot DURING my last one. I for some reason dont get knocked out completely, I dont know why, but Im thinkin I might be from now on. Ive never been so vocal as I was during the last one, and when you say things like, fuck you and your fucking scope, people pay attention, nurses come running, and drs look at you like maybe you shoulda been restrained, not just sedated. *scuse my swearing, I dont ususally swear in forums just illustrating my point. To be fair, there was a lot of inflammation that didnt used to be there, so maybe that was it........Ive never heard of anyone else carryin on like I did. Maybe I just got super unlucky that day???
And when its all over, you get a sammitch and a glass of juice and a coffee, and possibly a day off work too. Whats not to love????