Conversation killer

[misscris]

Sometimes you can only listen to so much when you get tired of it. So I was talking with a guy I know earlier tonight when he started non-stop bitching and whining. He was complaining how he's old and has aches and pains and such. And was complaining that he thinks he has SAD .. seasonal affective disorder. He was going on and on and finally I decided to end the whine session. In true Crohnie fashion .... he was stopped. And like a true Crohnie ... I had to share this with you all.

I cut out the majority of the whining and showed you the good parts below.


Me: I'm falling apart and I feel old all the time
Me: it sucks.
Him: join the club
Me: I'll trade you. You take my ailments, and I'll take your SAD
Him: i didnt sign up for this part of life
Me: nobody signs up for the bullshit they are handed
Him: oh i got ailments of my own
Him: i just started swimming, thats starting to help
Me: Well thats cool
Him: although, it's kinda embarrassing going in to swim laps.
Him: i look like a baluga whale, while these 19 yr old lifegaurds look at me
Him: they give me the 'dont do anything stupid, i dont wanna drag your fat ass out of the water' look
Me: are you sure? haha
Me: cause they do see all shapes and sizes all day long. I doubt they even notice or care anymore.
Him: well, paranoia is a sign of age too.... so it seems to fit
Me: ok
Me: just think ... it could be worse. You could have to shit at a moments notice and end up shitting yourself in said pool.
Him: ew
Him: ew ew ew ew
Me: heh ... see. could be worse
Him: yeah
Him: now i need to think of anything else right now


hahaha .. yup. I went there. :ylol2:

 

[shazamataz]

LOL good job Cris!!!!

 

[misscris]

haha .. thanks. I'm still chuckling over it. I'm not really one that feels the need to one-up someone and say "look how bad off I am" kind of deal .. but that was just too perfect a moment. I'm not even sure he remembers I have Crohns too, so I just thought it was funny.

 

[imisspopcorn]

High fives for Cris!

 

[misscris]

woo! hehe

 

[crazycanuck]

Lmao I like that. I've used our disease as a conversation killer a few times myself

 

[Rob]

Hahaha
gold

 

[shazamataz]

I haven't done that yet, but the best one I have used sometimes in the year or so after my Mum died was when someone was complaining about how their mother was annoying or whatever, I would say ' well at least she's not dead'. It made people quite uncomfortable but we also had a wee laugh as I was teasing (only did this with people I know pretty well).

 

[Pirate]

My wife's cousin was bitchin and moan about Janis and her siblings getting part of her grandfather estate and Janis pipes up in her sweet way and tells him. "I'll gladly give it up if I could have my dad back. Your lucky, your dad's still alive." Shut him right up. I wanted to shut his whining little pie-hole another way, but she did it her own way.

 

[merrywidow]

i overheard this in mcdonalds.
the couple were obviously going to spend a romatic time together, when the man pipes up and says "i will just phone the mrs and tell i will be 2 hours late home"!!!!!

 

[Peaches]

o...m...g Sharon!! I think I would have been lifting that phone number if I could have!

 

[merrywidow]

but what a place to meet up, i mean mcdonalds!!! not exactly the best place for a romantic meeting is it?

 

[Mark33180]

hahaha thats awesome

 

[Fog Ducker]

Thats awesome Cris!!! Good job!

 

[DanSJVDavis]

Two thumbs up. I love doing stuff like that. I have a very cynical wit/humor (and sort of gross humor) and quite a few of my conversations have ended that way.

 

[Nyx]

I have a similar story...I think we all do! But a friend of mine was bitching and moaning about how his ex girlfriend dumped him and made him feel like crap (every time I talk to him it's the same thing...they broke up a year ago for God's sake!)...and he was going on and on like a broken record. I told him "Well, count yourself lucky, you don't have to poop in a bag". Shut him right up! lol

 

[Pirate]

One of the guys I work with has complained about his ex-wife Satan everyday for the last 5 yrs. That's all we ever heard. About 3 weeks ago I finally got feed up and told him that I thought he was still in love with her since that's all he could talk about. Told him if he didn't shut up about it that I was going to call her and tell her that he wants to get back with her. It helped for about 4 hours. Damn.

 

[misscris]

hahaha ... too bad it didn't last longer Pirate! Tell him for every time you hear him mention her, you're going to in turn give him two poop stories. I bet he'll stop in no time!