Hello all, my name is Mike. I'm new to the forum but have been diagnosed with Crohn’s for about 5 years now. I'm 32 years old and live in Central Pennsylvania. After my diagnosis, I realized I had symptoms for many years before I was diagnosed. Throughout my teenager years, I almost immediately had to use the bathroom after eating at restaurants, I had diarrhea very often, and stomach cramping. It wasn't until a fistula appeared that I really looked into what was wrong with me. Doctors were confused and didn't know what to make of it. My PCP said that it was just an ingrown hair that got infected. He prescribed some antibiotics and told me to take warm baths. After about a month, nothing changed and the fistula continued to drain and the pain was unbearable at times. My PCP sent me off to a general surgeon to get a closer look at the problem area. After the procedure, the surgeon said that the area was infected and needed more time to heal. Thanks for all the helpful info doc (that was sarcasm). It didn't seem like they had a clue what was going on with me. My symptoms persisted for many months until my PCP sent a referral to a GI doc. After getting probed in nearly all areas, it was confirmed that I had Crohn's disease. It only took 2 years after I initially got my first fistula that I was officially diagnosed.
Things started getting better after I was diagnosed. I was really upset at the time but happy that I was finally able to get treatment. At first they started me on Asacol to help with inflammation. That didn't do much for my symptoms. Then I was put on Imuran which significantly improved my daily life but I was still getting occasional flare-ups which we noticed correlated to stressful times. At that point, I was put on Citalopram to help with my anxiety. To this day I think my main cause for flare-ups is stress. Most recently, I was prescribed Ultram for muscle and joint pain.
I know this is not a marriage forum but I know that I can't be the only one that is having issues with their significant others. I could really use some advice/support on this topic. My wife and I have been married for 14 years (yes, I married when I was young). We have 3 awesome kids. During the time before I was diagnosed, my Wife was kind and helpful. She understood that I was frustrated, confused, and scared. After the diagnosis, things started changing slowly. My attitude in life changed. I became more laid back. This helped with my symptoms significantly but my wife didn't like my change. She thought I was "slacking off". I feel that I’m a very reasonable and fair husband. I help around the house significantly. I do laundry, clean the bathroom, vacuum, mop, wash dishes, mow the lawn, shovel snow…etc. I even occasionally cook but I’m not nearly as good as she is
(I do most of the grilling in the summer though). So obviously the problem wasn’t that I didn’t help around the house. The problem was that I didn’t do things exactly when she wanted them done. She would get mad at me because I was too sick to do anything and she would be stuck doing everything. I tried explaining to here that I would help when I feel better but that doesn’t help when she wants things done at her schedule. This went on for some time until it went too far. We got a marriage counselor and tried working things out. I actually had to convince her to go see a counselor. She didn’t want to go. She didn‘t like what the counselor was saying to her. All of the issues were mainly put on her and she was even told that she might have OCD but refused to take the test. Things got out of hand and so I left her. This was last year.
We were separated for 3 months. During those 3 months, my wife got individual counseling and we continued marriage counseling. I just couldn’t live in the same house during that time because she was just making my symptoms worse. After getting back together we continued counseling for quite a few weeks. We still go every few months. Things were going well with the exception of the past few weeks. I started having issues again this summer. This time I was tired all the time, and my joints and muscles ached significantly. Every time I would be too tired to do something she would get mad at me. She told me things like “just get over it” and “you know, it could be worst”. These things just make me angry at her. I know it’s difficult for her to deal with me in my condition but I’m not sure if I can take it anymore.
Any suggestions?
Things started getting better after I was diagnosed. I was really upset at the time but happy that I was finally able to get treatment. At first they started me on Asacol to help with inflammation. That didn't do much for my symptoms. Then I was put on Imuran which significantly improved my daily life but I was still getting occasional flare-ups which we noticed correlated to stressful times. At that point, I was put on Citalopram to help with my anxiety. To this day I think my main cause for flare-ups is stress. Most recently, I was prescribed Ultram for muscle and joint pain.
I know this is not a marriage forum but I know that I can't be the only one that is having issues with their significant others. I could really use some advice/support on this topic. My wife and I have been married for 14 years (yes, I married when I was young). We have 3 awesome kids. During the time before I was diagnosed, my Wife was kind and helpful. She understood that I was frustrated, confused, and scared. After the diagnosis, things started changing slowly. My attitude in life changed. I became more laid back. This helped with my symptoms significantly but my wife didn't like my change. She thought I was "slacking off". I feel that I’m a very reasonable and fair husband. I help around the house significantly. I do laundry, clean the bathroom, vacuum, mop, wash dishes, mow the lawn, shovel snow…etc. I even occasionally cook but I’m not nearly as good as she is
(I do most of the grilling in the summer though). So obviously the problem wasn’t that I didn’t help around the house. The problem was that I didn’t do things exactly when she wanted them done. She would get mad at me because I was too sick to do anything and she would be stuck doing everything. I tried explaining to here that I would help when I feel better but that doesn’t help when she wants things done at her schedule. This went on for some time until it went too far. We got a marriage counselor and tried working things out. I actually had to convince her to go see a counselor. She didn’t want to go. She didn‘t like what the counselor was saying to her. All of the issues were mainly put on her and she was even told that she might have OCD but refused to take the test. Things got out of hand and so I left her. This was last year. We were separated for 3 months. During those 3 months, my wife got individual counseling and we continued marriage counseling. I just couldn’t live in the same house during that time because she was just making my symptoms worse. After getting back together we continued counseling for quite a few weeks. We still go every few months. Things were going well with the exception of the past few weeks. I started having issues again this summer. This time I was tired all the time, and my joints and muscles ached significantly. Every time I would be too tired to do something she would get mad at me. She told me things like “just get over it” and “you know, it could be worst”. These things just make me angry at her. I know it’s difficult for her to deal with me in my condition but I’m not sure if I can take it anymore.
Any suggestions?
