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Crohn's and the daily struggle - my A-Z

Needed to vent.. :wink:
Ok.. So, since being diagnosed in 2010.. it's been one thing after another. Fistula surgery, High Blood pressure, thyroid nodules, hypothyroidism, gallstones, apthous ulcers, edema, polyarthralgia, allergies, uterine fibroid, Gallbladder removal, fatigue, broken tooth x 2, alopecia, GERD, Low Vit-D, low Vit-B12, low potassium, ADD, nodular breasts, Cushings syndrome (thanks Pred!), Tachycardia, Nausea, fizzures, gastroparesis, hair breakage and falling out, pains all over the darn place, loss of libido, bowel obstruction, nausea, inflammation here and there ..

misc ER notes, lol: diverticulosis, bibasilar atelectasis, gastroparesis, bladder wall thickening.. etc.. I find it especially odd when no one tells you anything and there's recommendation for further review.

How many Dr's are enough? Surgeon's (3, so far), PCP, Rheumy, GI, Endo, Pain, Colorectal, various hospital DR's, ER Dr's, .. it never stops..

What's today like: right side hip pain, waiting 9 more days for a few MRI's, may get an epidural for the pain if the Dr's suspicions are correct. BP reading on the machine was 140/110, later manual reading 140/100.. can't seem to regulate by body temp, or pulse these days, swelling still here from the Cushing's syndrome, fatigue set in, hoping I can afford my bills this month, now feeling guilty for venting..

Anyways, here's my today A to Z's..

A.) I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired..
B.) sick of laying in pain at night and not being able to sleep..
C.) with the occasional night sweats..
D.) wondering if the fatigue will ever go away..
E.) I don't want to HAVE to know how to read my labs..
F.) Do I secretly glow from all the Xray machines?
G.) Ok.. so, i'm really not losing my mind..
H.) Please insurance companies, enough with the pre-auth's!!..
I.) Enough with the pills docs.. please waive your magic wand already!
J.) Silent disease .. tell that to my arse..
K.) I'm totally over Dr's forgetting manners and asking if i'm really sick
L.) Now, Dr's look at me and ask.. are you sure you're ok?..
M.) Occasionally I say forget you meds.. and not take them
N.) Realizing I'll always be sick, spend at least one whole day crying a year
O.) Stop assuming I'm going to lose a bunch of weight..
P.) Deep down I want a few days in a coma to give my body a break
Q.) Still haven't given in to a food diary.. living and still learning
R.) Just once I would like to see a real no BS lab report..
S.) guys, farting doesn't offend me..
T.) Please never tell me you're scared I will die one day
U.) Why do I find myself wondering if I'm sick enough for disability?
V.) Yes, I like to drink wine at night.. care to join?..
W.) Work is work.. someday's it is great. others, i'd rather be in bed
X.) Divorced, and sick of being strong
Y.) Oops, forgot to have kids.. now it's prob too late
Z.) stress free.. what part of my life allows for that?.. :ytongue:

Please let me feel like a beautiful, sexy, carefree, fun loving woman .. I need a break.. or, the lotto.. that sounds nice. :biggrin:


Thanks for listening! It really is a daily struggle.. Love and Hugs!:heart:
Monica
 

Trysha

Moderator
Staff member
I totally empathize with you and share a number of the same symptoms.
Life can be very hard and especially when you worry about medical bills...at least I don't have that worry being in Canada with a good health system.
The way you have listed all the issues is very interesting and hopefully you felt a bit of release in doing that.
If you have not applied for disability you certainly should do so as soon as possible.....its looks as if you would be certain to get it.
Feel better soon
Hugs and best wishes
Trysha
 
Venting OK especially amongst friend & fellow crohnies:)

You will get through this, in my prayers.

Shalom my friend, john
 
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