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Dementia and Crohn's - help!!

My partner and I have been together almost 9 years - he is divorced and I am a widow. We are not married. He is almost 73 and I am 70

He was diagnosed with Crohn's in Jan 2016 and was in hospital for about 4 weeks with alcohol withdrawal symptoms when
the Crohn's was diagnosed. He remained well through 2016, and had give up alcohol completely.

At Christmas 2016 he became horribly ill and constantly retching violently, not eating etc.

He was taken to the local hospital who thought there was some sepsis, but he was sent home again on Christmas Eve.

By this time, he was suspected of having dementia and had an appt for March 2017 at the Memory Clinic.

On 29th December 2016 he was rushed into a different hospital as an emergency. They kept him in as he became more and more ill.

During this time they also did a brain scan - but did not tell me - I am not his next of kin.

On 15 Jan 2017 he had an ileostomy.

He did not understand what was happening, and could not sign the consent papers.

By 5th Feb he was discharged - long story short - he did not know how to manage his stoma and bag, and I had not been shown - a nightmare few weeks followed ending with the GP having a stand up row with the stoma nurse in our conservatory.

15th Feb 2017 and he was diagnosed as having moderate vascular dementia, mixed dementia and right frontal lobe atrophy.


During 2018 he remained reasonable, but started drinking again - I refuse to drink having seen what it has done to him.

It has now hiked up to half a bottle of white wine each day with his supper. He then goes on from about 9.15pm making numerous mugs of Horlicks - at least 5 or more. Then he puts in the bathroom a jug and glass with his squash in it - which is double strength and virtually undiluted. This he drinks throughout the night.

He eats around 45 eggs a week, scrambled and omelette - because of the dementia his routines are very rigid. He does eat vegetables most days.


Because of the extreme difficulties ( including giving up my career) caused by the dementia, the Crohn's has been pushed to one side.

He simply cannot understand what it is - and I feel that this peculiar routine his has each night cannot be a good idea - but he will not stop it, no matter what I try.

He doesn't go to bed till 2AM and invariably wakes me - even though we have different rooms - and I then cannot get back to sleep again.

Last night at about 2.30am he started again with this horrid retching again - I was horrified as I felt maybe his Crohn's was kicking off again. I spoke to him this morning about the drinking, and his reply was that he did not know what the Crohn's was and how it affected him, so he was taking no notice of it.

He hates the bag, cannot deal with changing it himself - carers do it. The output is like water even though he takes 12 loperamide each day......

Can anyone give me a 'heads up' on this situation, please???