Depression kicking in

[Kero]

I am getting seriously depressed. I can't seem to work because I am an uneducated bum that has to take retail like jobs which keep me on my feet, and I am in too much pain all the time to handle it. I have a job and they have been amazingly tolerant, but the store is up for sale and the new owners may not be so tolerant. I am always in pain, and I feel like I am just letting everyone down because I can't seem to do anything. Can't do much for housework so my house looks like hell. I am tired of waiting. 7 months of tests and still no concrete diagnosis. My husband tries to be sympathetic but he doesn't really get it, he just sees I'm in pain and he can't help. Finances are strained because I can't work as much as I would like, sick of always having to borrow money. Sorry guys I know this is long but I don't know where else I can go to talk.

 

[Myhappyplace]

I'm so sorry. I can definitely relate to the feeling that you're letting people down. I was telling my teenage son yesterday that I wish I could be more of a mom right now, and he said, "it's ok mom, you're always there when we really need you". At least with me, I think a lot of the depression comes from not meeting expectations that are in nobody's mind but my own. Yep, my house isn't as clean as I'd like, and yep, I didn't "do" Christmas the way I really wanted to, but I'm trying to embrace the moment and look at the big picture. It's not easy at all, but I'm trying. I hope things start to look up for you. Maybe if you do get a diagnosis, you can look into disability? Anyway, I'm sending good thoughts your way for a better new year.

 

[Jennifer]

Hi Kero, I'm sorry you're going through this. For now just continue doing the best you can and know that when things get better (and they will) you will be able to accomplish tasks you feel you can't do at the moment.

My recent flare is kicking my ass and my house definitely doesn't look the way I would like. I resorted to buying paper plates and plastic utensils to help reduce the amount of dishes that need to be washed. Maybe doing something like that would help you out some as well.

Remember that this is temporary and things will get better. I hope you get a diagnosis soon and proper treatment so you can start feeling better. We're all here for you. :ghug:

 

[Kero]

Thanks for your support! Really means a lot, especially the last little while. My boss has cut me down to like 1 shift a week, so now bills are going to pile up because I can't work anymore than that. At least if I can get diagnosed I can look into disability through the govt to help supplement my income and the cost of pain meds, etc Just looks so bleak and miserable right now, been hard to shake off

 

[rebe]

i have been were you are we still struggle i have been on disability since 1999, at that time alone with 2 kids, my blessings came when i asked for a case worker and a attorney, I got ssdi but could work and make a certain abount a month but work 4 hours a day , thats all i could do./ I am ocd about my cleaning my house will be till i die/now remarried emptynessters, I am on remicade for corhns plus fibromyalsia, sleep apnia and pdsd. I work part time and i am a artist , my dogs keep me busy, We all need to relax breath things will work them selve out. people will understand , get ride of negatrive people in your life and dont give a 5%$5...... , what anyone else feels or thinks of you. they have not walked in your shoes