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Dumped due to crohn's

It's been about a year since my ex dumped me because of my Crohn's. I can't seem to get over it. I am still angry and sad unless I am at work and therefore distracted. I think if someone actually loved someone else, wouldn't they try to work it out? We were together for ten years and we had tons in common. Sometimes I think that he is right, how can anyone love a person who,shits the bed and can't go hiking or cycling and cancels plans? I need to get over this. What do you think?


Staff member
New York, USA
I think that he wasn't the right person for you.....

My husband and I got together when I was not well...he has seen me at pretty much my worst....also through being in the hospital and coming out very underweight.....

Yet, we are still together over 12 years, and while we do have ups and downs, we are still there for each other....

And yes, I've had to clean up after HIM when he was sick.....which I think gave him a greater appreciation for what I have gone through.
Hi Lisa and Ron, Thanks for your support. I know in my heart that Crohn's does not make a person unworthy, but when your gut is lousy, on those days, it's so hard to feel positive about things! I am happy for you both that you have such wonderful partners who love you through thick and thin. I hope someday I will be in the same position. K
I think he's being really selfish, and if he really loved you, he wouldn't have broken up. You're better off without him. Maybe it would help to talk to someone, so you can let it go. Being angry is only going to affect you, no one else. :ghug:
I can feel that this is making me into someone that I don't like and so I know that I need to shift out of being angry. Thanks for your wise words.
I must say I am in the same place...17 years down the drain spent with someone who treated me as an obstacle once I got sick...its been nearly a year for me of being alone...I still have no confidence I can ever make anyone happy.
ahh. im back in hospital (2 weeks after getting out from the last flare) and ive always been scared my lady will leave and ill be alone. heart goes out to you guys. dont know how id cope without her.

cant swear here, but really, they can go picoprep themselves. there. should be allowed to post that.
Thanks barely, I feel like we both need to take time to get to a better place. It is lousy how we were treated... but I often think there must have been a lack of real love, in which case we are better off waiting and finding someone who really loves us. Otherwise, if that person would really dump someone due to an illness, then that shows their true character.
k_stewart I totally agree with you that my marriage was anything but an example of real love.

The question is - what to do about dating, I am a very honest person and feel guilty if I do not disclose all...tell a lady you have crohns and she runs away faster than I can say remission.
Here's what I think about revealing Crohn's to a date. Crohn's is something I have, but it is not me. There is so much more to me than that... I am sure there is a lot more to you too. There is no reason to tell anyone if you don't even know if you like them. Obviously there are many people who are able to love in spite of an illness. Don't let it define you. K