This disease has got me so down, bm's are under control though I'm starving myself to do it, following SCD, I'm on so many fkin meds and I don't feel as if they're really helping at all sure im not passing any blood atm but my face is yellow, like jaundice and I'm still in agony, iv spent too much time in hospital alrdy I can't be bothered going back there I'd honestly rather just kick the bucket, I'm sick of fighting through it. Can't even smoke weed anymore which was the only thing getting me through this coz I had a panic attack and now everytime I even inhale the tiniest bit it sparks of a panic attack n I start hyperventilating. I'm seeing perhaps the best GI in the country next month hoping to get a definitive diagnosis and a treatment plan that works. Thing is iv had my hopes shattered so many times I don't want to get them let down again. Alright had enough of a winge, just needed to get it off my chest. I know we're all struggling.