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Dunno how much more I can take

This disease has got me so down, bm's are under control though I'm starving myself to do it, following SCD, I'm on so many fkin meds and I don't feel as if they're really helping at all sure im not passing any blood atm but my face is yellow, like jaundice and I'm still in agony, iv spent too much time in hospital alrdy I can't be bothered going back there I'd honestly rather just kick the bucket, I'm sick of fighting through it. Can't even smoke weed anymore which was the only thing getting me through this coz I had a panic attack and now everytime I even inhale the tiniest bit it sparks of a panic attack n I start hyperventilating. I'm seeing perhaps the best GI in the country next month hoping to get a definitive diagnosis and a treatment plan that works. Thing is iv had my hopes shattered so many times I don't want to get them let down again. Alright had enough of a winge, just needed to get it off my chest. I know we're all struggling.
Hang in there! Don't give up! We all had those days and felt like you do - there are a lot of people worse off then you, be grateful for what you can do - you can see, walk, talk, think, etc. New meds are being developed all the time and there is hope for all of us.
It's OK to feel bad sometimes, don't try to be a hero - if you are in pain- take pain meds, go for walk, call a friend, read a book.
All the best 2 u!:ylol:


I'm sorry you're struggling Joshuaaa. :( I hope you don't have jaundice. Hopefully you'll be able to see your regular doctor and have some blood work done to be sure. I'd hate if one of your meds was causing further problems. I also hope that your appointment with the new GI will be just what you need to get you healthy and back on track so you can move on with life. There's always hope and help so don't give up. We're all here for you and in this together. :ghug:
I'm really sorry to hear that. I feel the same way many days and I have the same situation with weed that you do. I used to use it but now I just get bad anxiety and my heart races when I use it.

Don't give up hope though. Figuring this disease out and what treatments and diets will work for you takes a lot of time. Many of us are figuring it out as we go as well. Hopefully your new doc will get you on a good path.