Experiences with antidepressants?

[Izzie]

Hello all!
This might be off topic, and if it is feel free to move this thread or delete it.

I've been undiagnosed now for close to 5 months and it's really been getting me down. I've had to be away from work and school on sick leave and won't be going back until the fall. My doctor has suggested antidepressants to combat both depression and anxiety, but I'm really hesitant. I've had anxiety for a long time, but the depression is a bit new. Never medicated it though.

I'm concerned it'll change my personality, or make me feel numb to the positive emotions that I do have, or somehow change my brain chemistry for ever.

There seem to be two camps of people - those who believe in antidepressants 100% and those who think it's the worst idea ever, so I thought I would ask if any of you have personal experience you'd be willing to share. It would be a relief to have less anxiety, since it's keeping me from doing what little I actually can despite my illness...

Anything you'd be willing to share would help!

 

[FrozenGirl]

In all honestly I have never used them. However I do wholeheartedly believe in their appropriate use. I saw a post on tumblr I think and it basically made the analogy to glasses, could you function without them, sure you could squint all the time, avoid driving and take the bus, it's livable, but why should you try so hard to achieved a basic level of functioning when you could just put on your glasses. I am personally considering talking to my doctor about anxiety meds because it really is starting to make my life substantially harder and I have so much anxiety I can't even imagine the freedom I would feel if that would be lessened.

 

[Lady Organic]

It is quite common that anxiety evolves into a depressive state. Being anxious at all time is really exhausting, and eats a lot of energy. I understand your dilemma. any medication can come with risks and side effects, for anti-depressants it includes suicidal ideas/thoughts and withdrawal can be tricky. You can ask your pharmacist about the possible side effects. I got a bad experience in my family. So my opinion is to use them for severe cases, combined with a psychotherapy or when alternative treatments have failed. Ive been throught such a dilemma for myself once and my family doctor expressed and reinforced that opinion. My family doctor is very opened and ''hollistic'', I like her a lot. Among the alternatives and possible help, there is: cardiovascular sports, yoga, guided meditation and guided relaxation (videos on youtube to start), psychotherapy with psychologist, support groups for anxiety disorders in community centers, acupuncture, etc... If there is no emergency at this moment, you could try those alternatives first, they help a lot of people. I have started sports, yoga and guided relaxation and I find a lot of benefits from them. wishing you well.

 

[UnXmas]

I started taking Amitriptyine for insomnia, but after a few weeks realised it was changing the way I felt emotionally, and the way I thought. When I no longer needed it for sleep (the insomnia had been caused by prednisone, so I didn't need sleep meds once I was off pred), I continued taking it.

I would never go off it now. It doesn't make me numb. I'm no longer overwhelmed by negative thoughts and feelings, I still feel depression, anger, etc. but now I can think about the causes of those feelings from another perspective, and as a result I can act in more appropiate ways. It really made me a nicer person. When I was overwhelmed by depression (for very good reasons, plenty of things in my life warrant extreme depression and anger), I would take it out on other people because I couldn't see past my depression to realise how I was affecting others. It made me feel guilt. It's also easier to see reasons to be happy. Amitriptyine didn't cause positive feelings and stop negative ones, it made me see what feelings were appropriate and from there I was more able to create reasons for the positive and reduce reasons for the negative, though there are clear limits to the extent these things can be done.

It causes me a few physical side effects, but nothing that is that difficult to deal with. I haven't developed tolerance to its antidepressant propities or its sedative properties. It doesn't help with my anxiety. I would think my experience is rare and that others may find it hard to find the right antidepressant for them. I think I was very lucky.

I tried an awful lot of things to help with depression, including all the "talk therapies", psychiatrists, CBT, lifestyle changes, alternative therapies, etc., and nothing came close to helping as much as meds, nothing else helped much at all.

The thing I would warn you most about is the possibility of a lot of discrinination once a mental health label is on your medical record.

 

[Izzie]

In all honestly I have never used them. However I do wholeheartedly believe in their appropriate use. I saw a post on tumblr I think and it basically made the analogy to glasses, could you function without them, sure you could squint all the time, avoid driving and take the bus, it's livable, but why should you try so hard to achieved a basic level of functioning when you could just put on your glasses. I am personally considering talking to my doctor about anxiety meds because it really is starting to make my life substantially harder and I have so much anxiety I can't even imagine the freedom I would feel if that would be lessened.

I've hadd anxiety on and off since I was a child, and I've refused medication for a loooooong long time, but now I'm starting to think that that's foolish. Like you said - I can't even imagine how it would feel to NOT have to spend a considerable amount of energy trying to keep my anxiety under control on a daily basis.

I have heard horror stories about anti-depressants dulling even positive emotions, which has kept me from trying them thus far, but on the other hand... constant anxiety dulls pretty much everything as well, so...

 

[Izzie]

One thing I've been particularly concerned about is weight gain... I lost a significant amount of weight since I started having stomach issues, but I've found that my symptoms are getting better the more weight I lose. I still have a few extra lbs to lose and I don't want medication to get in the way of that. I've heard that most people gain weight on anti-depressants.

 

[UnXmas]

I've certainly never gained weight from amitriptyline, which does list weight gain as a side effect. Some medications cause weight gain through water retention - this type of weight gain should be minimal, temporary and no actual fat is gained. The other way is that some medications increase hunger. But that only results in weight gain if you eat more. If you don't eat too much you won't gain weight.

 

[CrohnsMedicalStudent]

Izzie,

I'm really sorry to hear that you've struggled with depression and anxiety. I've similar problems for a while now. I tried Celexa for a short time, but it gave me some side effects I didn't like (insomnia, sexual dysfunction...both pretty common sides from SSRI's)

I would honestly try using SAMe. It's very safe, and interacts with very few drugs. I started taking 400 mg 2x a day for about a month and noticed a massive improvement in my mood and energy level. I now only take 400 mg a day. Most people do well on a maintenance dose of 200-400 mg once a day in the morning.

Above all else, if your depression and anxiety isn't getting better or is getting worse, heed the advice of your physician. Self medicating can be useful, but if things are getting bad, please don't try to take care of it on your own.

That being said, if you think can take care of it on your own, I'd certainly try SAMe. It works quickly and effectively, and doesn't interact with a million drugs like St. John's Wort. Let me know if you have any questions or concerns.

Take care!

 

[CrohnsMedicalStudent]

The thing I would warn you most about is the possibility of a lot of discrinination once a mental health label is on your medical record.

I'm sorry, but I highly, highly disagree with this statement.

No one, absolutely no one, should hide, nor be ashamed of a mental health problem. That is just horrible.

Depression and anxiety are serious problems, and need to be treated as such. It's not something you can just "shrug off" out of fear of what others will think.

Also, for the record, the fact that a patient has/had a mental health problem does not negatively influence the decisions of health care professionals. At all.

 

[24601]

CrohnsMedicalStudent,

I think you have misunderstood what UnXmas meant - not that anyone shouldn't seek help but that you do have to be prepared that medical professionals may see a mental health issue in your records and begin to question the cause of other physical symptoms too, for example.

I believe this is simply realistic advice given from personal experience and/or the experience of many on this forum. I have read of experiences like this time and again - if a doctor can attribute your symptoms to anxiety or depression many will often do that before looking for a cause.

This is horrible (on the part of the medical professionals who act like that) but it does happen all too frequently. And in the context of someone dealing with anxiety (and not, for example, suicidal thoughts) I believe this is an entirely reasonable thing to mention.

No one has said that anyone should "shrug off" depression or anxiety.

 

[Lady Organic]

it is a reality that psychiatric patients too often have to fight to get equal rights in the medical system. Ive attended several educational seminars in a community center devoted to the promotion of autonomy and fighting rights of people who suffers from psychiatric disorders. Experienced patients can tell it is preferable not to tell doctors about psychiatric history when seaking help for another medical issue. Its truly unfortunate, but a psychiatric diagnosis still comes with a stigma. Of course not all medical staff discriminate, but a fair amount do.
Nowadays, all our files can be accessible to all doctors and pharmacists via internet servers and that without permission from the patient. I dont know in the US but in Canada thats how it goes since a couple of years. I understand the benefits of that new measure, but some patients are not comfortable with that. so as patients, we have been given the right to block the access to our file if we prefer it.

 

[UnXmas]

I'm sorry, but I highly, highly disagree with this statement.

No one, absolutely no one, should hide, nor be ashamed of a mental health problem. That is just horrible.

Depression and anxiety are serious problems, and need to be treated as such. It's not something you can just "shrug off" out of fear of what others will think.

Also, for the record, the fact that a patient has/had a mental health problem does not negatively influence the decisions of health care professionals. At all.

I'm simply stating my experience, I've had to face a huge amount of discrimination. It shouldn't be that way, and I'm sure for some it isn't, but it's a fact that I've experienced discrimination, so it's not really something you can disagree with.

From your username I'm guessing you're a medical student, and I appologise if my post made it sound to you like all healthcare practitioners discriminate, as I know that isn't true, but I did say discrimination was a possibility, not a certainty.

 

[CrohnsMedicalStudent]

I'm simply stating my experience, I've had to face a huge amount of discrimination. It shouldn't be that way, and I'm sure for some it isn't, but it's a fact that I've experienced discrimination, so it's not really something you can disagree with.

From your username I'm guessing you're a medical student, and I appologise if my post made it sound to you like all healthcare practitioners discriminate, as I know that isn't true, but I did say discrimination was a possibility, not a certainty.

Of course, I understand. I wasn't trying to come off so harsh, I just have very strong feelings about this topic.

Yes, I am in medical school, and I too have been an extremely sick patient. I just wanted to give a bit of background info, not for sympathy or attention, but just to reinforce that I've been on both sides of fence so-to-speak.

In 2012, I nearly lost my life to a severe infection of neuroborreliosis/tertiary Lyme disease. I was misdiagnosed with juvenile RA and put on heavy doses of prednisone and Humira. This, of course, allowed the infection to ramapantly spread throughout my body, including my brain.

My first psychiatric symptoms were extreme depression, anxiety and bouts of psychosis and mania at times. I graduated with a 4.0 GPA in college, and literally felt like I was losing my mind for no reason. It was absolutely terrifying. I never messed around with any drugs in my life nor drank, and I truly had no idea what was happening to me. I became extremely suicidal and had to seek mental health help. At first, I was embarrassed, as I thought I would be "judged" by my doctors.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

If I didn't seek out the help from medical professionals, I would not be here today.

Oh, and then of course, if that wasn't bad enough, I developed Crohn's after the infection.

I deal with an extreme amount of MSK pain and nerve pain on a daily basis. This in turn causes a great deal of depression and anxiety, as I have a very stressful lifestyle (medicine) that is not conducive to my health. I also have some cardiac problems due to the infection as well.

I am 100% honest with all of my own physicians caring for me, as well as my patients, who also struggle with depression and anxiety.

It is not something to be embarrassed about, nor hide. Our country has a horrible outlook on mental health disorders, and I hate that.

People need to own their mental health disorders so they can get properly treated. This propagation of mistrust between patients and physicians is what is leading to rampant undertreatment.

I truly hope you have not been mistreated by the medical community for your mental health struggles. That would just sadden me. I've dedicated my life to trying to help people with their mental health struggles, as it caused me so much anguish and chaos in my own life, that I quit my job and applied for medical school, so that I could help others just as the way I was helped back in 2012.

I certainly can't speak for everyone's experiences, but I can definitely say that if I didn't seek out help for my problems, I wouldn't be here today, and I am not embarrassed to say that.

 

[Izzie]

I've already experienced a significant amout of discrimination from doctors based on my history of anxiety as a child. For several months my symptoms were dismissed as "stress", before they discovered there was more to the story.

So yes, IMO discrimination because of mental health issues is TOTALLY a thing. A big big problem.

But seeing as I've already experienced it I figure it won't get much worse (or better) if I go on meds.

 

[CrohnsMedicalStudent]

I've already experienced a significant amout of discrimination from doctors based on my history of anxiety as a child. For several months my symptoms were dismissed as "stress", before they discovered there was more to the story.

So yes, IMO discrimination because of mental health issues is TOTALLY a thing. A big big problem.

But seeing as I've already experienced it I figure it won't get much worse (or better) if I go on meds.

Did you ever see a psychiatrist? It's not so much "discrimination" as it is GPs not knowing how to handle/address mental health problems.

Also, if you think it couldn't get much better or worse, what is the physician supposed to do for you then? I'm curious.

 

[Izzie]

Did you ever see a psychiatrist? It's not so much "discrimination" as it is GPs not knowing how to handle/address mental health problems.

I've seen plenty of psychiatrists, yes, but in this case I was seeing GPs and specialists for my stomach problems and nothing else. When I've sought help for my mental health issues I haven't found much trouble, but when physicians dismiss real physical symptoms and write them off as stress because you also have mental health issues - that can be really harmful. Not to mention stressful, when you have to fight to be taken seriously when you are ill.

And regarding some of your previous posts... With all due respect, dismissing other people's experiences because you don't agree with them or it doesn't line up with your own, is not helpful in maintaining a respectful discussion.

ETA: My comment about things not getting better or worse was regarding the discrimination I've faced, not my anxiety problems. I hope and believe that they can be helped if I explore different options :thumright:

 

[CrohnsMedicalStudent]

I've seen plenty of psychiatrists, yes, but in this case I was seeing GPs and specialists for my stomach problems and nothing else. When I've sought help for my mental health issues I haven't found much trouble, but when physicians dismiss real physical symptoms and write them off as stress because you also have mental health issues - that can be really harmful. Not to mention stressful, when you have to fight to be taken seriously when you are ill.

And regarding some of your previous posts... With all due respect, dismissing other people's experiences because you don't agree with them or it doesn't line up with your own, is not helpful in maintaining a respectful discussion.

ETA: My comment about things not getting better or worse was regarding the discrimination I've faced, not my anxiety problems. I hope and believe that they can be helped if I explore different options :thumright:

Izzie,

If you haven't tried any treatment modalities for your anxiety or depression, how can you effectively rule them out with regard to your stomach problems? Maybe you should try one of the suggested treatments from the physicians for the depression and anxiety and see if it improves your symptoms. You have to start somewhere. Otherwise you'll just be taking a shot in the dark. There is plenty of evidence that GI problems are caused by both depression and/or anxiety, so I'd be a great place to start by address that problem (that you've been actually diagnosed with) first. It will certainly help your mental health struggles, that's for certain. It may just help with your GI problems. If not, then at least the physicians can effectively rule those issues out.

 

[Izzie]

Izzie,

If you haven't tried any treatment modalities for your anxiety or depression, how can you effectively rule them out with regard to your stomach problems? Maybe you should try one of the suggested treatments from the physicians for the depression and anxiety and see if it improves your symptoms. You have to start somewhere. Otherwise you'll just be taking a shot in the dark. There is plenty of evidence that GI problems are caused by both depression and/or anxiety, so I'd be a great place to start by address that problem (that you've been actually diagnosed with) first. It will certainly help your mental health struggles, that's for certain. It may just help with your GI problems. If not, then at least the physicians can effectively rule those issues out.

I won't be continuing this discussion with you, or posting more in this thread.

You're assuming a lot of things that are inaccurate, and I don't appreciate your attitude.


To the rest of you - thanks for your input and support, it has helped!

 

[Jennifer]

Izzie, I apologize for the rude comments made in this thread and the hijacking that took place. That member has been banned and all posts that were off topic have been removed.

Have you talked to your doctor or psychiatrist about treating your anxiety with benzodiazepines? Treating your anxiety may help with depression as well. Depression and anxiety go hand in hand so since you've suffered from anxiety for quite some time and your depression is now new, maybe treating the anxiety will help with both.

For myself antidepressants didn't seem to work but taking medication for anxiety helped a lot with both. Hope you find something that works well for you.

 

[Ang71]

I'm am taking Lexapro (escitalopram) for depression. I've been on it for about 4 years now. When I was in hospital for a month with a complicated stoma my depression got so bad they put me on mirtazapine. Then once I got back home and my depression settled down they put me back on the Lexapro. The Lexapro work really well, I don't get drowsy and I feel good. The mirtazapine I hated I was so drowsy the next day & just couldn't function I was glad when they took me off that.
My specialist said it's a good idea to take an anti-depressant with Crohn's disease as stress can trigger flare ups. Since being on Lexapro I haven't had a flare up.. Fingers crossed I don't anytime soon.

 

[jimlahey188]

Izzie, I apologize for the rude comments made in this thread and the hijacking that took place. That member has been banned and all posts that were off topic have been removed.

Have you talked to your doctor or psychiatrist about treating your anxiety with benzodiazepines? Treating your anxiety may help with depression as well. Depression and anxiety go hand in hand so since you've suffered from anxiety for quite some time and your depression is now new, maybe treating the anxiety will help with both.

For myself antidepressants didn't seem to work but taking medication for anxiety helped a lot with both. Hope you find something that works well for you.

Benzos can actually worsen depression in a lot of people. Probably best if she seeks the advice of her doctor...I know they told me antidepressants help both depression and general anxiety, but I'm sure different things work for different people.

 

[UnXmas]

My doctor was very much against prescribing benzos for insomnia due to how quickly you become tolerant to their effects (I didn't ask for them, but my doctor went through all the options for insomnia). I've read that the tolerance problem is the same for their effects on anxiety (or depression) so they may be better for treating occaisional anxiety or panic attacks rather than on-going, chronic anxiety. But I think I've read other posts about your experience, Jennifer, and you said that you don't have that problem?

 

[jimlahey188]

My doctor was very much against prescribing benzos for insomnia due to how quickly you become tolerant to their effects (I didn't ask for them, but my doctor went through all the options for insomnia). I've read that the tolerance problem is the same for their effects on anxiety (or depression) so they may be better for treating occaisional anxiety or panic attacks rather than on-going, chronic anxiety. But I think I've read other posts about your experience, Jennifer, and you said that you don't have that problem?

That's what I was told as well. My doc told me the withdrawal was hell and could actually cause seizures. I didn't want to go down that road.

I just used passionflower extract or make kava tea, which works extremely well for me.

 

[Izzie]

I've been prescribed benzos for one-time use a couple times (before surgery, for example), but doctors here are extremely cautious about prescribing it since they're so addictive.

Pretty sure that wouldn't be an option unless I tried antidepressants first and they didn't work, or something.

 

[Jennifer]

I see Izzie. I'm sorry you're not able to try them longer term (also sorry about the member who can't take a hint and keeps joining back).

Just like with pain medication or prescription sleep aids for insomnia there is risk of addiction but there are many who don't have that problem. Yes UnXmas I did not have that problem and took benzos for years. I also took Restoril for insomnia which is a benzo made to treat insomnia. For me I preferred the longer lasting benzos like Klonopin and Restoril rather than say Xanax to help reduce the need for more medication. With the use of benzos and therapy I was able to control my anxiety better on my own and now I don't take anything. I do have Klonopin still just in case I need it.

Do you know which antidepressant they want you to try Izzie?

 

[Izzie]

I see Izzie. I'm sorry you're not able to try them longer term (also sorry about the member who can't take a hint and keeps joining back).

Just like with pain medication or prescription sleep aids for insomnia there is risk of addiction but there are many who don't have that problem. Yes UnXmas I did not have that problem and took benzos for years. I also took Restoril for insomnia which is a benzo made to treat insomnia. For me I preferred the longer lasting benzos like Klonopin and Restoril rather than say Xanax to help reduce the need for more medication. With the use of benzos and therapy I was able to control my anxiety better on my own and now I don't take anything. I do have Klonopin still just in case I need it.

Do you know which antidepressant they want you to try Izzy?

Mirtazapine was suggested at first, but then another doctor thought that was a bad idea so never tried it.

I'm waiting for an appointment with a psychiatrist since the GPs I've seen can't seem to agree on what I should take.

I also have ADHD so I guess finding a good fit might be a little trickier. The reason they didn't want to go the Mirtazapine route was because it apparently can make ADHD problems worse.

 

[Jennifer]

I've never heard of that one (or the other names for it). Glad you're seeing a psychiatrist. I had a lot better luck with them as well then with my general practitioners. Both GPs I saw just tried any old thing but I think it's best to leave these type of decisions to the specialists rather than a GP. Hope you can see them soon.

 

[Poached Pear]

Everyone is different and will respond differently to medications. You can always stop the anti-depressant if it doesn't work for you. As for the label, anti-depressants are some of the best selling classes of medicine out there. Someone is taking them (actually millions of people do). It is always good to get the right help for the right person and figuring this out for yourself is tricky. The right psychiatrist (or prescriber) with the right medication.

You may have to try a few prescribers and a few medications.

And then, as others have said, talk therapy, meditation, yoga, diet, all of these can help as well. You are in good company though, chronic illness can have depression tag along. Good for you for considering (your many) options!

 

[Izzie]

Everyone is different and will respond differently to medications. You can always stop the anti-depressant if it doesn't work for you. As for the label, anti-depressants are some of the best selling classes of medicine out there. Someone is taking them (actually millions of people do). It is always good to get the right help for the right person and figuring this out for yourself is tricky. The right psychiatrist (or prescriber) with the right medication.

You may have to try a few prescribers and a few medications.

And then, as others have said, talk therapy, meditation, yoga, diet, all of these can help as well. You are in good company though, chronic illness can have depression tag along. Good for you for considering (your many) options!

Talk therapy I've tried in the past. Never liked it. The same with "techniques" for lessening anxiety that have been suggested to me over the years - nothing has ever worked. Meditation for me ironically seems to trigger panic attacks, which I've never heard of with anyone else. I think what I need is to get out of my head, not further into it :lol2:

Exercise helps, but being sick as much as I've been lately that's kind of gone out the window. Could be part of the reason why my problems have gotten so much worse this year.

Though it's not fun to hear about other people struggling, it is nice to know you're not alone :thumleft:

 

[Izzie]

I think one of the things that bug me most is that anxiety and depression for me put me in a rather selfish state.

If I can't muster the ability to leave my couch for a day - I don't really care how it affects other people. Or rather, I do care, but if I piled that guilt on top of already feeling like crap it'd just be too much, so I ignore it.

Similarly if I've made plans and my anxiety kicks in, I don't have a choice but to make excuses and bail on them. With my closest friends and family I'll tell the truth, but it's not fun to tell a casual acquaintance that you can't meet them for lunch because you were kept up all night and morning by a panic attack so you're too tired to get to the restaurant...

Which in turn is isolating, because people get sick of you when you leave them hanging too often.

 

[UnXmas]

I've been prescribed benzos for one-time use a couple times (before surgery, for example), but doctors here are extremely cautious about prescribing it since they're so addictive.

Pretty sure that wouldn't be an option unless I tried antidepressants first and they didn't work, or something.

Are you in the UK Izzie? From this forum and hearing a few other people's experiences, I get the impression that benzos are prescribed far more frequently in the US than in the UK (I also notice a lot of characters seem to be taking them in US tv programmes! But that may say more about the kind of tv I watch).

 

[Izzie]

Are you in the UK Izzie? From this forum and hearing a few other people's experiences, I get the impression that benzos are prescribed far more frequently in the US than in the UK (I also notice a lot of characters seem to be taking them in US tv programmes! But that may say more about the kind of tv I watch).

Not the UK, but Europe! Doctors are very restrictive with them here, I've actually never heard of anyone taking them continuously.

 

[Poached Pear]

hi

That "selfish state" that you talk about may be irritability? Which is part of feeling internally "bad." And feeling bad, yes, I can see you would want to go out. And you isolate yourself. Which leaves you with fewer contacts, you are right.

You are probably very intelligent, so you would need the right talk therapist. No BS-ing you. But if you are feeling bad, and do decide you would like help, there are choices. And some of them can work. You have anxiety that isolates you and crohns which does the same, as chronic illness can. How you think about all of this will determine if you seek help and what help you seek. Your thinking is powerful, it is guiding you. It can be changed, if you decide. You always have options... sometimes your decision is to sit on the couch with a blanket.

 

[UnXmas]

Everyone is different and will respond differently to medications. You can always stop the anti-depressant if it doesn't work for you. As for the label, anti-depressants are some of the best selling classes of medicine out there. Someone is taking them (actually millions of people do). It is always good to get the right help for the right person and figuring this out for yourself is tricky. The right psychiatrist (or prescriber) with the right medication.

You may have to try a few prescribers and a few medications.

And then, as others have said, talk therapy, meditation, yoga, diet, all of these can help as well. You are in good company though, chronic illness can have depression tag along. Good for you for considering (your many) options!

A lot of people do take antidepressants, but that doesn't mean there is no stigma. Mental illness has a stigma that can affect all sorts of aspects of a person's life, and I think people should be made aware of the reality of this. That doesn't mean it's never worth the risk of seeking medical help, but in each case you have to weigh the pros and cons specific to the situation. In this case, as has already been mentioned, there's the possibility that doctors may dismiss physical symptoms as symptoms of mental illness, and for someone with undiagnosed physical symptoms that could matter while for the majority of (physically healthy) people on antidepressants it wouldn't be an issue.

I'm very sorry, Izzie, that you feel you don't have much left to lose as you have experienced this problem already. I'm in that situation too. But as I said in my first post on this thread, antidepressants help me a great deal and I have found some doctors who fully accept my physical symptoms are physical regardless of the metal health labels on my medical record. I hope you can find some good doctors and get help for both your physical and mental problems.

You're not being selfish, the fact that you are worrying about annoying people shows that you are thinking of others. I find exercise helps my mind too, but like you my illness restricts what activity I can do. But I recently began seeing a physiotherapist, who has helped me see that even the most gentle movements can help, and can give your mood a boost as you know you're doing something good for your body. Because I have problems with my hand, I find I even get that feeling from doing my finger exercises! And when I was in hospital my physio taught me stretches I could do, even while lying in bed. I imagine that things like yoga may be similar. And I also love taking very slow walks outside in the fresh air with my dog. Have you ever had the chance to see if animals help you feel well? My dog is a great therapist.

 

[UnXmas]

Just to add - Poached Pear is right that antidepressants are very common. There is a stigma, but there are also many people - including doctors - who will understand how you're feeling.

 

[Izzie]

You're all SO nice and deserve all of the virtual hugs!

UnXmas, I actually have considered getting a pet again as I seem to recall my cat being a good distraction for the really shit times.

In my family (parents and siblings) - two are on antidepressants and one has experience with severe panic attacks so I'm in a pretty understanding environment in that way, I suppose. If anything I've dug my own grave there, because for a long time I insisted that antidepressants/medication for mental problems were for people who "just couldn't tough it out". I've clearly changed my mindset since.

I honestly don't think anyone close to me would judge me at all, I'm not worried about that, it's more my own fears and concerns about it, as well as the discrimination that's been mentioned.

I actually had a prescription for Mirtazapine that I never took, earlier this year. And I had a nurse tell me when I was hospitalized for my stomach problems that it was a good thing I'd chosen not to take them since I'm "so young and should be able to handle it without such 'severe measures'. Besides those things will ruin your entire life" So there is a lot of stigma surrounding it, and while I don't care what people think of me, I do care that the people who provide my medical care believe me when I tell them I'm sick. I've gotten very good at arguying my point of view in those situations after this years struggles haha