Fear of "hypochondria"

[brooklyn23]

As a child who was school averse - grasped material well so quickly got bored and poor social skills meant getting teased a lot - I would get "sick" often to avoid classes. At some point, because my family for the most part stopped believing me, I became aware that I faked sick or exaggerated symptoms much of the time.

This sense of "things are never as bad as I think they are" became one of the reasons it took me so long to get help for depression and anxiety. (It also once led to me refusing help for what turned out to be a 104 degree fever once at summer camp, a friend had called me a hypochondriac because she was having a bad day.)

Now, dealing with a history of IBD and my magical mystical ovulation pain, I can't help but overthink everything I'm feeling (my stomach feels strange), and then simultaneously wonder if I'm making too much of it or if I should trust myself.

It's like getting stuck in this weird feedback loop and I don't know how to cope with it.

 

[nogutsnoglory]

Honestly I know sometimes we are seen as hypochondriacs by others and may even wonder if we are ourselves but we are dealing with complicated disease and stubborn bodies. We can't help but get anchors about our symptoms knowing how bad things have and could get. Don't let anyone tell you it's in your head. Trust your body to guide you.

 

[brooklyn23]

Honestly I know sometimes we are seen as hypochondriacs by others and may even wonder if we are ourselves but we are dealing with complicated disease and stubborn bodies. We can't help but get anchors about our symptoms knowing how bad things have and could get. Don't let anyone tell you it's in your head. Trust your body to guide you.

That's the thing. I don't trust myself. My brain and my body are working against each other. When I feel like shit, I tell myself I'm overreacting. If I think I have a symptom, I tell myself "Well you're afraid of not having answers so you're making yourself sick."

 

[nogutsnoglory]

Well even when tricky the body has a way of letting us know. Unusual pains, fever, chills, nausea, diarrhea/constipation and the colors that come out of us are clues to a larger problem.

 

[brooklyn23]

Well even when tricky the body has a way of letting us know. Unusual pains, fever, chills, nausea, diarrhea/constipation and the colors that come out of us are clues to a larger problem.

Part of my stress is that I don't have (and have never had) the major symptoms. General discomfort of the abdomen in general, and then the 4-day walloping ovulation pain which has nearly cost me jobs.

I can avoid that attack with birth control (which I hate) but there's still no "cause". I've exhausted every potential gynecological cause -- no cysts, no endo, no nothing. I even had a laparoscopy over the summer.

The idea, prior to looking into that, was that if I'm in a Crohn's flare, and I ovulate on the side near my ileum, that's what causes the pain. I had an attack in January, but have not been able to confirm that I'm in a flare because my symptoms are mild... fatigue, discomfort eating, mild abdominal pain.

So yeah, I'm just very stressed out. I didn't have this ovulation pain when I was on pentasa, so I'm hoping that when I do the capsule endoscopy it'll prove that I am flaring again... :/

Ugh that was such a long rant but I'm living in pain and confusion.

 

[jkd916]

I couldn't have logged on at a better time. This post is very nearly how I'm feeling. I'm sorry you're having such a rough go with the ovulation pains. I see now that it has been months since you've posted, so hopefully you have found something to help ease the pain. I have read that periods are especially difficult with Crohn's, and wonder if that might be the cause alone.

I'm currently awaiting another colonoscopy, due on Monday, and I am hoping beyond hope that they find something. Not knowing is very stressful, regardless of what your pains are. I often feel like a hypochondriac as well and wonder if my G.I.'s nurse is used to monthly calls from patients who aren't even diagnosed yet. I have become very self-conscious of what I speak to friends and family due to the overwhelming feeling that they are tired of hearing my complaints. It's difficult not knowing anyone going through the same worries, aches, and pains. That's why we have online forums, though!