I’m fed up. With a lot of things and I need a safe place to vent or I’m going to implode. Was scheduled for colonoscopy tomorrow. Hubby tells me last night, “what are you going to do if nothing is wrong? “. Then says, “you’re a nervous nelly,that’s why. When I asked him what his medical opinion says is making me shit myself. I cancelled it. Several reasons, he thinks that if nothing is “diagnosed” that he can continue laying the real stressful stuff at home on my shoulders, and won’t have to do a thing. And I guess if it was something like they saw on the CT, then maybe I can just die quietly. Because I must be an expense he can do without. I’m just fed up. I haven’t felt well all week and my back has been out for weeks to boot. Last night and today watery yellow stools. Yea, I can make that up, it’s in my head. I’m not of sound mind right now to speak to him. I wouldn’t even know what to say. Hey, you’re an asshole. I need you to act like you give two shits about me, man up. Pretend it’s someone you care about. Give that a shot.