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Feeling Depressed

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sdreiter

Guest
:depressed: I was diagnosed with Crohn's in 2001 when I was 21. I never really had too many problems until 2003, but since then I have been admitted to hospital at least 2 times a year with obstructions and have had 4 lots of surgery, the last being in May 2006. I always manage to get my life back up and running, just about, but after 6 months it always deteriorates rapidly and I once again feel very poorly. The doctors do try and fix the problem with drugs but it always seems to head the same way - back to the operating table.

Once again I am not well and about to undergo another attempt at strictureplasty and don't feel too confident in a positive result. I find it very difficult to cope with, I think I put on a brave face but this latest episode has really got me down. I used to be extremely out going and active and I now find myself hiding away and rarely socialising. I have accepted I have the illness but really don't know how to deal with it in my head, and after all this time the confused, angry, depressed feelings have intensified. I really feel like I am going to lose the plot. :depressed:
 
Welcome to the forum sdreiter. Sorry to hear of your current struggles with this dreaded disease.

I think most of us deal with various bouts of depression over the ongoing symptoms and roller-coaster aspects of life with Crohn's. I've never had a strictureplasty so don't know much about that, but I recently had a resection which was a major development since my diagnosis back in 2003.

If you read around here, you'll see that many have felt the same way you do. Feel free to vent your frustrations, anxieties, etc. Hope you get some relief soon.
 
I welcome you to the forums. I'm sorry your under such conditions right now and I hope you start to feel better soon. I will be here to wish you the best of luck and that you will never need surgery again.

Best wishes and I'll keep you in my prayers
 
J

jobengals

Guest
Welcome Sdr, I just recently joined a few days ago myself. I was diagnosed when I turned 20, almost a year and a half ago, but i've had crohn's symptoms since 16. I'm sorry to hear about your luck in the operating room, and you say that doctors try to fix the problem with drugs ... what kind of drugs have you taken / or are you taking now?

I too used to be a very outgoing, very social person, and in the last year alone I've noticed that trait of my personality has declined immensely. When I think about why I've changed so much, it's probably because I lost a ton of self-confidence after my diagnoses and am no where near to feeling as comfortable with myself as I used to be. It really is too bad, human beings as social creatures yearn for the comfort and acceptance of others, and for people with certain anti-sociable physical conditions like this beautiful online family here (us), it can sometimes be a real challenge to find that support in the real world. Depression is always going to be a major factor of this disease, so it is vital that you try to deal with it as best as you can; our mental health is just as important as our physical health (if not more so). During my worst flare periods I would sit at home and play video games and treat myself to cannabis. Try not to lose touch with your friends, even if you are feeling crappy. If your feelings of hostility and confusion keep intensifying along with your depression, talk to your doctor about it. Medicating our minds and bodies can really make a world of difference at certain times in our lives.

Try to stay as positive as possible ... you always have our support :smile:
 
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hanaa al baydany

Guest
dear Sdreiter, welcome to our world family. i fell sorry for what you passed through. i whope every thing will turn to be ok. i want you to be strong do;nt let the chronh depressed you.
take care .
 
S

sdreiter

Guest
Jobengals, so much of what you say sounds very very familiar, during my early days I smoked cannabis, but have given up smoking everything now. However when I have these emotional episodes it is the first thing I look for. I loved going out for drinks with friends, drink doesn't really agree with me now and I think I just took it on myself t decide I would be no fun going out and not drinking. I just feel like I have missed out on my 20s and I should be out there enjoying myself.

Over the last 8 or so years I have tried vsrious medication. Prednisalone had very little effect and they no longer giving it to me. For the last 3 years I have taken 200mg of aziathioprine and 4g of pentasa per day but this clearly has not worked as in that time I have had 3 resections, including 1 nasty perforation and another operation for strictures. They did try to widen the strictures endoscopically twice buy means of strictureplasties. These only gave short term relief. In the next couple of weeks they are going to attempt this again then start me on infliximab. Fingers crossed but I can't help but not feel too positive about it.
 

Kev

Senior Member
Hi sdreiter, welcome to the forum. sorry to hear about the issues your going thru. Parts of your story remind me of me, of how I was feeling, how there never seemed to be an end in sight, a treatment plan that I could believe in, have faith in. And depression seemed my constant companion. I don't know if it rated as a 'clinical' depression ... when one GI surgeon asked me if I considered myself one who was depressed, my angry response was that I was not depressed, I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired. however, I got over or past that 'defensive' response, realized that there was an element of depression to this.. Afterall, its a nasty disease, a real handfull to face, so its only natural to feel depressed. It's also natural to dismiss it, to ignore it, just think that if you focus on the IBD, once its taken care of, the depression will go away on its own. Thing of it is, the IBD refuses to go away.. and the whole thing just forms a nasty, viscious cycle. I slowly came around, accepted that I had yet another thing to deal with ON TOP of the IBD (as if it wasn't enuff). So, I tried some pills from my doc (they helped, but I wanted to fix this, not rely on pills).. So i turned my depression into anger. But, proactive anger. I got angry at my disease, still do, still relish that thought. Every step I take in trying to get better is like me sucker punching my worst enemy, IBD. Found this site. It was an incredible help. Then I got angry at me. I looked at all the fun things in life I used to do before I talked me out of them. going out with the crowd. Why? I can't drink with them, can't eat with them, need to have a nap before going. I may even have to leave. See? See all the roadblocks I threw in my own path? Stopped doing that. Used my anger to force me out of the house, to go have some fun. Made a world of difference. took a while to get over the initial feel of it... got out of the 3rd wheel mentality... got out of the 'he's sick, centre of the groups sympathy/misery/pity'.. that took a while, used some ground rules.Got to the point where I didnt' feel uncomfortable, didn't feel out of place, where my health rarely if ever comes up, and it's just a group of friends having fun. Wanna know something about fun? It's not just fun, its an essential part of life. my health hasn't improved, but my depression is in the past, and life is so much better based on just that simple, but sometimes overlooked, little step

That's been my experience. Nothing mystic, nothing pretentious, in fact it is just soooo simple, it just might work. And it did. So glad that I choose that way to go. Hate to think where I'd be right now if I just waited for the IBD to fade in order for the depression to lift. Just cause they're connected, they aint' contigent. Hope that didnt come across as preachy or condescending. it sure wasnt meant that way. Like I said, your story reminded me so much of my own
 
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