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Feeling miserable

So it's 1.30am and yet again I'm sat on the sofa while everyone else is sleeping had a really bad night last night, very bad cramps for hours throughout the night and spent a continuous hour on the loo with diarrhoea :poo:. I eventually got some sleep at 6am approx. Today I was so exhausted, my appetite was so low and even coffee (decaffeinated) wasn't good. I still got the laundry done and made dinner and sorted out uni trips for my daughter, by then I was beat and asked my husband if he would help with dishes and he said 'sure it will give you something to do tomorrow, you have nothing else to do'. I know it might not sound like much but he really upset me. I asked him to take me to an appt on Sat evening but he played golf instead so I had to drive 120 mile round trip on my own, I had already attended 4 other appts that week and 7 the week before!! We are meant to away for a week on Sunday but I don't want to go anywhere with him at the minute :( I think he is fed up cos I'm ill so much and doesn't want to hear me talk about it anymore.

I'm really sorry for moaning but I have nowhere else to turn to, thanks for reading.
Lynda, You are not alone.. I know exactly what you feeling.. My husband is the same way. I not only have Crohn's disease, I also have MS and it is very hard to get through the day at times and he just doesnt get it and makes jokes about all the pills and treatments I have to take to get through the day. I had to ask a friend to take me to get a colonoscopy this week because he didnt want to take half a day from work.. It is sad that we have to do all of it but if they get sick the world ends..
I have diabetes too and osteoarthritis in hands, back, hip and knees, everyday is full of pain. I don't work right now cos I had surgery on my left shoulder and right wrist which took way to long to heal (my wrist will never heal and is in constant pain and I'm right handed). I think he is just fed up, we've been married for 24 years next month and I guess this life isn't what he hoped for.
Does the crohns interact with the ms and viva versa? When do you get results of colonoscopy?

Thanks for your reply, take care.


Super Moderator
Aw, Lizbeth and soccermom, hugs to both of you. My hubby was the same way... until he got kidney stones. They were impacted so they were super painful, and his urologist took a "wait and see" approach to see if they'd pass on their own, so my hubby spent 6 months having awful attacks of abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting. It could come out of nowhere and incapacitate him, and force him to miss out on things he wanted to do. Sound familiar? After that experience, he's been way more understanding. Sometimes I think people who don't "get it" just need to go through something like that, no amount of explaining will do it for them. Not that I'm wishing kidney stones on your husbands, but that's literally the only thing that got it through my hubby's head. He had to go through a similar experience to really realize what it's like for me. I hope your husbands can wake up and get a clue without getting sick themselves. Big hugs to both of you!
Man that is terrible how he treated you...I'm so sorry you had to be treated like that. My dad is like that too and does nothing to help me, i have to depend on my mother for help. He's never had much pain in his life before. If he felt even a day of what we have, he would be in the hospital basically thinking hes about to die.

I hate to wish this on people but just a day to feel what we go through..just a day would be all it takes to show them this isnt a bleepin joke.
Thank you everyone, you actually made me laugh...thinking about him trying to physically walk in my shoes. But seriously I know what you mean, he should experience `a day in the life of a chronie` see how he likes it.

I did sorta get my own back today, unintentionally I slept most of the day (not really like me but eyes wouldn't stay open), and the dishes I asked him to help me with still weren't done (I know it's disgraceful!) Then he came home from work and I promptly fell asleep, woke up and he had done the dishes!! Yay :ylol: score to me, though if I hadn't slept all day I would have done them. :ghug: Thanks everyone.
LOL.. I know that feeling all too well too Liz but sometimes they surprise us and do something nice.. and to answer your question Crohns and Ms sometimes will affect each other but more the Crohns to the Ms if I am really tired.. And I also have Diabetes so I have to be careful when the start with the steroids..
Oh I know they can be quite contrary. I was singing his praises a few weeks ago! Men....can't live with them...can't live without them!! lol. Although sometimes I think a desert island far away would be a good place to put them. Sorry all you lovely men out there, no disrespect intended, I'm just talking about the ones I know :biggrin:
I hate when people say "Well this isn't life threatening." Believe me, I am compassionate since I lost a number of family members to cancer. But, I don't like having a condition that goes on and on and on and on either. I lost my desire to want to go out and do things a long time ago.
Lizbeth I am so sorry you are going through this. I to had a spouse that didn't understand how I felt and the same may be for you. I would maybe try and sit down and explain to him in and communicate how you feel and why you need his support. Many times our spouses need to be reminded exactly what we are going through I hope this helps and I'm sure others here will have even more suggestions. Good luck to you sending you lots of hugs
I'm not feeling so annoyed with him anymore, I actually feel sorry for him that he has been saddled with a wife who has been ill for 17 out of 24 years of marriage.:( I did raise the dishes issue with him and when I explained why I had asked for help he looked a bit embarrassed, I don't really think he did understand, he really has been very supportive and I really shouldn't have complained, I feel quite bad about it now lol. Thanks everyone for your support, I really don't know what I would do without this forum.