G'day..

[dropbear]

Hi there... I'm new here.. Not sure I'm ready to share my story here just yet. Still looking about... Its almost 4am and my partner is snoring log's beside me... another night of bugger all sleep Like most here I assume.

Anyone up for a chat? ... I don't bite... Well yah on bad day's I might! :frown:

 

[afidz]

Hi dropbear!
I am in chat all the time, and there now if you would like. if I miss you there is some awesome people in and out throughout the day

 

[SarahBear]

Welcome to the forum, dropbear! I understand that you made your way into chat earlier. Hope to see you back in there sometime!

We'd like to hear your story whenever you're ready to share.

 

[dropbear]

Thank you both.... After stumbling about and being in the chat room for a little bit..... I think I can share my story here with out fear or negativity or judgment..... So bare with me as I'm going to try to put it all into words... I haven't allowed myself to think about it all in it's entirety for 3 years now...

 

[dropbear]

blah

deleted this cause It wasn't worth the read... I'll retry this at some other time.....

 

[afidz]

Dropbear, I'm sorry you were having difficulty getting your story up. hopefully you can get it to work at another time.

 

[dropbear]

Ugh I deleted that previous post... Perhaps all the issues was life telling me not to bother..

 

[dropbear]

I am going to try this for a fourth time... Why? I'm not sure.. perhaps there is something to gain from this communicational torture..... I like to hope so.

Breathe... 3..2.1..

I have had digestional issues since I can remember.... I was so unhealthy thin pasty white as a child. My folk's caught allot of flak for it... Wasn't their fault. Got my tonsils removed due to severe and constant infection.

I had my first encounter with a suppository when I was 6... I'm no stranger to cramp's, diarrhea, blockages, constipation, twisting, tearing, explosive pain... My folks thought I did not like school resulting in me complaining about stomach pain.... No one thought for a second that I really was in pain.....

It wasn't so much as an issue when I was young.. I didn't understand and I was busy trying to be a kid.

Grade 9 high school I had my first break down & cut myself up....... So from that point on my folks thought I was a nut case...... I got into drinking heavily at age 15..... Didn't go to school... My folks sore I was in a bad way - They sold house and moved to the big city hoping I'd just grow of it being in a different environment.... They thought it worked...

At the point I started smoking pot to relieve my symptoms... I chose to be honest and upfront with my family notifying them of my decision and why I chose to go that route.. They instantly told me I should go to the mental health clinic or rehab before I smoke myself retarded....and I've been judged poorly since.. My oldest brother is the only one who has positively supported me and my search for relief.

I had a really good job in 08 as a junior graphic designer... I was sick allot.. but I did my job and did it well... I always just chucked it up to a poor immune system and catching bug's where-ever I wen't...

08 I got really depressed again..... my symptoms were winning.. to stave off another suicide attempt I jumped a plane to Bali.... A decision I'm sure I'll regret for life...

I was sick as a dog on the flight over of course.. and then it seemed like every day I was having bouts severe diarrhea... I chalked it up to 'Bali Belly' Most tourist's get it upon arrival.... One day; not feeling terrible but not feeling great I decided it was time to get a tattoo... to symbolise growth & strength..... or something... I remembered a card a nice bloke gave me - It was a tattooist who you could arrange to either get it done in the shop or have him come to you... I decided he could come to me.. I didn't want to be to far from a nice clean working toilet - very rare in Bali.. it's a 3rd world island after-all...

My heart goes a million miles an hour with the still present & continuing ripples of this next part..

I had a great tribal design for my back that I drew myself I was so excited... I got along well with the artist.. He also Designed a Koi fish and lotus for my foot and they both were done really well... Little did I know I was just branded like cattle to slaughter... I payed him and away he went...

A week later I wake up at god knows what time to him above me with his hand over my mouth... I had just had a bad session on the porcelain god.... And felt like a bruised sack of potato's... And then He raped me.... how did he get in? Why wont he stop? stop saying to love me? I'm so stupid...

3 weeks go by and I hadn't left the villa.... hadn't said a word.... One of my friends came to check on me worried.... He found me in a hell of a state... All I remember is the pain.... He sent for an ambulance and I was off to the BIMC hospital. Were I'm not sure how long I was in the foyer for... I did not tell them what happened.. They didn't speak much English and in their culture the men are always right..... They told me I needed to do a urine sample, blood tests, internal examination, swabs & a biopsy of my cervix.. I sat staring at the wall motionless for 4 hours until an orderly took me up stairs to a big empty room with a chair with the leg restraint's........ I thought it was just going to be me and the lady Dr.. so I took my underwear off and got on the chair... Next minute the room is packed with people who don't speak a lick of English or want me to think that they don't..... I felt like I was there in that room for a lifetime... It was over then took me back down to the foyer and said 6 hours. You wait. Do not leave.

8 hours later they called me into to talk to the dr... She told me in broken English that I had PID, HPV, Chlamydia & Gonorrhea. Did not give me any information on any of it.... She said 'I'm sorry' In English then the nurse shot me up in the arm and but full of needles - gave me a stack of pills. Charged me $600 and said Go home..

I did... I flew back to my country.... More broken then when I left...

I tried to ignore what happened. My digestional issues were so bad I took sick leave from my job. They were getting fed up now with my Bali holiday and my sick days there after...

I confided in my dad's dr... who turned out to be a quack... I have been through numerous testings and on numerous med's. I don't have PID, Chlamydia or Gonorrhea.. I do have HPV : Another reminder like the ink under my skin that should never have been..

Progressivly I have gotten worse.... If you want to know the meds, and recent diagnosis and the medical hell I went through now & since then you can message me.... I have not had a good Dr yet... They are all insane and have all almost ended my life...

I have heard all the same as most on here from dr's hoping for an answer....
I had dr's from hell as a result I have a phobia now due to some nightmarish medical event's..
I have not had health care for 2 years.. I dropped my last medication in 2011.. I am med free now which has been a big struggle... I just smoke my pot and take each day as it is..... Rupturing during a flare up is my biggest concern and has been for 3 years now..... I fear it daily.

I may add on to this and explain my medical drama's after that...

I just wanted to explain that I am not happy.. and I think it leads back to that point... the stress and mental anguish of that event and others similar to that has made my Crohn's disease (I say it cause I bet my life and first born that I have it) so much more aggressive..

 

[CrohnsChicago]

Thank you for sharing your story dropbear. You have definitely been through a lot. Im sorry

can you tell us a little more about your digestive symptoms that keep you undiagnosed? What are your current symptoms?

What sorts of medications are you currently on to help your symptoms?

 

[dropbear]

I know I kind of skimped on that... I didn't in the first attempt to post here -_-'

I just thought I would start at the beginning... and take the road from there..

I am sick just about every time I eat. I have been previously diagnosed with, GERD, IBS & Severe allergies... Yet I've never had a allergy test? I know I don't have IBS And allergies I don't think so. I could eat something on a good day and be no worse for where... have it on a bad day I'm one sad crampy nauseous burping bear. I take Probiotic's I'm in pain.. I take anti acid's (zantec, nexium and something with R) I'm in pain. Hell if I take cough syrup? I'm in pain. I wont sleep for day's neither. I have tried a few natural persribed remedies that were awful

I have no vitamin D despite living in Australia and previously very active running an hour a day when bowels permitted. I haven't been able to run in 2 years now. I'm forever hot or cold... Clamy & sickly looking...

I have been admitted to hospital for puking bile and blood for 9 hours.... I just couldn't stop heaving..

The pain I get can range from barely tolerable uncomfortable and tight.. to sharp needle like stabs all about my abdomen below and above the belly button. I think If I get a blockage or a flush out the pain is a 10, Feels like my intestines are twisting or swollen bout to bust.... I have had rectal bleeding...Anal tearing.. Stomach ulcers.. Constant dehydration and fatigue, disorietation in flare up... Some time I cant for the life of me achieve anything other then a listless sluggish state... I don't have a social life I fear not making it to a bathroom - Don't eat if I have an important appointment I cant risk missing. I have insomnia cant sleep allot of the time despite how tired. I have joint pain, muscle pain.. I get paralysis all over often before the on set of severe migraines which I was prescribed mersyndol for both the migraines and to treat my cramp pain... (Smart dr eh? no.)

I stopped breathing on many of the anti depressants they had me on.. I was so messed up don't remember the names of all... I was on orzapam, vallium, some anti psychotic, & anti anxiety... The anxiety and psychotics where constantly being changed... and I almost died as a result of most of them...

I've been on dilaudid but low dosage cause they think I'm a junky I guess? I am supposed to take Valtrex - A steroid Every day but don't.. As I know its bad in the long run...

I'm sure there's more I'm leaving out.. we'll get to it as we go I guess...

Also another symptom is intestinal shredding - at first i thought I had a parasite - The typical 'are these worms in my stool?' it happens almost constantly so I don't think that is normal with bloody mucus as well....

I've had accident's and soiled myself in public...? just sitting there or walking along... ooops...I am gross lol.

last year I had more bad days in bed or in the bathroom then functioning day's

Depression come's hand in hand it seems and I do not handle certain stress well at all..

 

[dropbear]

I currently take acetaminophen, Tramadol when I can't avoid it & smoke ALLOT of pot....

 

[afidz]

Hey Dropbear,
We have talked about all of your symptoms in great detail, I believe. Hopefully you can see a doctor someday soon, as your symptoms need to be addressed by a doctor. You have been through so much in just a few short years, there may be a lot of diseases and illnesses that need to be out-ruled first, but who knows really. Try looking into free clinics and things that we have discussed, atleast until you can get health care again. I hope you start to get things figured out soon, and you can use this forum to your full advantage. :heart:

 

[dropbear]

Feel like I wasted my time typing anything...

I am alone..

 

[LisaL]

HI Dropbear...Welcome to the forum. I am sorry that you have been through so much...You certainly have a great deal on your plate to deal with. I am also sorry that you felt that you wasted your breath telling your story. This is a lovely community of people who want very much to help people feel better and take the best care of themselves that they can.

I have to agree with Afidz...you need medical attention for your gastrointestinal issues. I know that you feel that you have been labeled by the medical and mental health community...But you deserve to get the proper care you need so that your physical and mental health issues can be properly cared for. Please find a doctor who you can talk to about your troubles.

You are not alone...
Lisa

 

[dropbear]

Right now I cannot see a Dr..... I do not know what option are open to me

I am currently trying to restore my status here in Canada - It is allot of paper work and appointments... My travel insurance ran out quite a while ago.. and I do not have the money to pay for all of this medical cost's all over again at this point.... I desperately want to see a Dr.... A REAL ONE THIS TIME! (sick of quacks)

I know I am not alone.... I don't have mental health issues. I am 100% sound for everyone's information. I do have my bad day's and unfortunently that last two day's were pretty bad.. Unlike when I was younger I know it pass's and each day is a new one. Unfortunently my depression has a large well of ammunition to draw on when it does come knocking as some event's still scar my soul.

I have seen over 15 different Dr's in Australia and no one took me seriously of referred me to a GI... I had to fight to get my endoscopy.. I refused to leave until the Dr set me up for one. Considering the Dr who preformed it I didn't even meet till after and she lied to me.. saying she found nothing. However in her report she had found a few things as well as giving me appendicitis . So I would like to get that redone as I don't know what's accurate from that.

I do not know what options are open to me in Canada... My town is very small and I do not have transport or the money to go out of town and none of the Drs here are taking new patients or will see me....

I Don't think there is a free clinic or anything like that here.. at least not for non Canadian Citizens.

Up until now I have been ignoring my symptoms in the hope it will go away... however My partner Mark Made me realize it's been 6 years now and I have only gotten worse... He is my rock and is like my nurse half the time hehe...

I know I need medical attention.... I am worried I am going to be rushed to hospital again and not be able to pay... before I am able to get to a Dr...

I guess I joined because I have been talking to people with crohn's who live in town and they are pretty sure I have it too.....I have been reading many blog's and guides on living with it to see if I can maybe lesson my symptom's till I am able to get to the Dr!

I do not want crohn's! This is not me hoping for a bad diagnosis so I can say I TOLD YOU SO to everyone.. If they find I don't have crohn's THEN that will be fantastic...

However something is defiantly wrong. And I need to be able to manage it a bit till I CAN SEE A DR - Tips WILL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED!

Thank you for taking the time to read and respond to me! <3