Going out with drinkers?

[Abby]

I was diagnosed at 15 or so, and ignored it for a long time. Now that I am old enough to realize drinking as making me really sick, I had to stop.

Now when people start getting drunk, I start getting really bitter because I want to be drunk!

I do struggle with depression/anxiety and I am sure that it is probably the cause for this, but until I can fix it, I can't just stay in bed. Not to mention I am in pain all the time (apparently it is probably spondyloarthritis...) in my body and my gut.

How do you deal with situations you don't want to be in? How do you not show what a bitter bitch you are becoming?

My boyfriend points out a bitchy face I make when I'm sick or tired, but I don't mean to. I also don't have that great social skills so I'm always nervous when I am around people (especially people I know for some reason).

I'm so frustruated with the way I'm feeling, but I know from past experience it doesn't go away fast enough.

QUESTION: Seems like people need to drink to have fun, how can I get over my bitterness/awkwardness in those situations...

 

[nogutsnoglory]

Alcohol just masks their feelings and isn't a healthy way to have fun. You can go out and enjoy their company and laugh at their drunken stupidity.

What's important is to focus on what you do enjoy and are capable of doing. Even if you can't leave the house are their any hobbies you have or can try. Maybe there is something you and your bf can do together like art, cooking, games etc.

 

[Cosmojo]

You aren't alone. As a college student I pretty much missed out on a huge part of that experience, I do drink sometimes, but like 2 drinks otherwise I start to feel like death, and everyone just seems to think I'm a prude or don't want to have fun. oh contrare I'd love to drink but its not fun for me, and lets be real I don't wanna be up till 3 and be the sober cause then you are just tired and annoyed.

Honestly I just try to stay away from it now, its just easier, when I do go, I have 2 drinks, very slowly, mixed drinks nice and fruity and watered down. Then a soda or water to get some good fluids.

And yes you should talk to someone about it, tell your bf whats going on in your head, find a doctor to talk to, or just vent to us here. We all deserve support in whatever our needs are...even if our needs make us LAME! ha

 

[alex_chris]

I don't wanna be up till 3 and be the sober cause then you are just tired and annoyed.
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Strange, I always thought the best parties are those where you aren't drunk at 3am. I think alcohol has been enshrined too much in our society, what's wrong with having just one or two beers and that's it?

 

[Abby]

There is no problem having one or two beers and that's it - until there is an actual party when people are getting drunk.

As soon as everyone is drunk, they are on a level together, and I don't exsist anymore. It makes me so bitter because I had been the sober one for a long time to drive, etc. But I know I could get drunk if I wanted to, and did whenever I wanted to.

Now I HAVE to be sober. And I hate them for it. And without solving my other problems which have been going on for years, I wont feel better... I just don't want to miss out on everything, but at the same time... I dont want to be there!!

Also - I can't have any beer at all. If I start to drink, I will get sick and fall asleep - there is no 'feelin it' or tipsy or drunk.

 

[nogutsnoglory]

I don't see why you need to drink to exist to them. Whether you drink or not you will exist to them but they just see things in a cloudy form. They can still be silly, laugh with you and have fun. You can enjoy all that socially without drinking. It will just take time since you aren't used to it. I personally hate drinking so I'm used to having fun with drinking friends. I have more fun than they do because I laugh at their stupidity.

 

[crohnsbegone]

Drink in moderation - you can still have fun!

 

[SarahCunnane]

You can definitely have fun, go out and be social and not drink..it's all in your mindset.

Alcohol makes my crohn's 10 times worse so I barely drink now but it doesn't stop be going out! I was a little self conscious at first, especially trying to dance at weddings etc but you soon realise that everyone else around you are making equal fools of them selves when drunk. You have the added benefit and being able to remember all the juicy gossip and have no hangover!!!

Some of my mates till don't really get it but I just ignore them.....so go out, be proud, be confident and enjoy life!

 

[rygon]

I can only drink white wine and cider nowadays (and maybe a little vodka) and even then in moderation, which seems to do me. I cant hack the late nights and feeling bad for the whole of the next day.

Ive been out plenty of times where I havent drank at all due to work commitments and its been fun. By the time its getting messy Im ready for bed anyway, and my mates appreciate me making the effort to get out. Also its great that even when sober you can get away with quite a bit as no one will remember the next day and you know you still have your brains not to make a complete arse out of yourself

 

[Kero]

I know it's not easy, but you may need to find another group of friends. If your friends can't have fun without being drunk, then honestly they aren't the best people to associate with. Chances of you guys all being friends still in 10 years is pretty slim. I used to hang out with the drinkers, but now in my 30's I realize I can have fun without alcohol. Many of those that had to drink to have fun still have that mentality, and they are usually in dead end jobs with 10 kids and all different moms/dads

Join clubs that share your interests, volunteer. Lots of cool non drinking people out there

 

[Ratty]

A few people are suggesting having just a couple of drinks but for me, it's easier to just not drink at all and then you can drive home too.

I can drink but very rarely do and laughing at my friends when they're s#1tfaced and I'm sober always makes for a good night out. It's even better when I can remember everything they said and did but they can't.