Has anyone had similar experiences?

[jsesaic]

I'm a 20 year girl from England. I was diagnosed at 16 years old just after my GCSE exams, which i was ill all the way through. All the doctors thought it was just stress caused by the exams or ibs. But it got worse and worse and i was taken in to hospital and eventually diagnosed. I was lucky for the next two years or so which went by without any major problems or flare ups.

Unfortunately last year, age 19, i had the worst flare up i've ever had. And i was still ill for 6 months before the doctors actually said it was bad. In the end i was taken in to hospital again (this time in an ambulance) and was rushed in ttero surgery the next day. The surgeon said it should never have been allowed to get that bad, it had even started to aggravate my womb and kidneys.

I had an ileostomy, which meant i had to put up with a stoma for 9 months. I know people live with them much longer, but for me that was too long. I hated it. I became withdrawn and never wanted to go out. It was the worst 9 months of my entire life. Baring in mind i was only 19/20 during this and that's not a great age to have it.

I thought when i had the ileostomy reversed earlier this year that everything would be better. And it is crohn's wise. The doctors think i might be in remission, which is good. And yet i feel worse than ever. I've been put on anti depressants and have councelling but i can't stop dreading it all coming back.

And everyone thinks just cause i'm not ill anymore we can all just move on. I can't move on from it so why should everyone else? Is that selfish?

I've never posted on any forum before about something so personal, but i was wondering if anyone had any similar experiences?

Thanks for reading!

 

[Trysha]

It has been a terrible set of experiences for you and very hard to cope with.
It is good that there has been such an improvement of the crohn's and I can well understand the feeling s regarding it coming back on you.
Time is a great healer and give yourself some time to recover .
Seize the moment of your improved health, ignore these negative influences.
Meditation can be very healing, this does not mean joining a religious group,there are healing meditation groups to deal with stress.Maybe your doctor could guide you to one of these.I found it very helpful.
Sometimes antidepressants can have a negative effect and may not be helpful at all.
You can move on from this and you must clear your mind and pick up the threads.
Think of something you really enjoy and concentrate on that.
A good holiday would do the world of good, if you are able.
Fill your mind with other things and if you are able to why not volunteer at a local charity or something.
It is easy for us to get stuck in a groove and be afraid of living.
Don't be like chicken little------the sky will not fall in.
Feel better soon
Hugs and best wishes
Trysha

 

[highlandsrock]

Sorry to read you've had such a bad few years. It's so frustrating how many times patients are ignored or mis-diagnosed. I can relate to your story personally but it took me 34 years to go through all the same stages that have only taken you four years. I was diagnosed at 22, the year before my finals....and yes for a year I was told "it's stress".

Unfortunately you will now get comments along the lines that you've had the operation so you're now cured and pull yourself together. There's a lot of people who simply don't understand the psychological effects of a chronic illness, especially when you're diagnosed at a young age, and there is still widespread ignorance about Crohn's disease.

You've made a good start by taking positive action and getting counselling and also by posting on the forum. If you haven't already found it there's an active crohnie presence on Twitter that give each other support. Another thing that I have found useful in coming to terms with my health in general is blogging as it does take some careful thought before hitting the publish button. I find it helps to get things in perspective.

As a parting thought if I count up the good years against the bad years in my Crohn's "journey" there's a lot more good than bad. Life doesn't have to stop because of it but there may be a few changes along the way.

 

[Honey]

Hi there
It is natural to feel low after what you have been through. Talking about how you feel is therapeutic especially using this forum.Do not lean on anti depressants for too long though. You are on an emotional rollercoaster with the difficulties of illness. Look forward not back. It is getting better for you so enjoy today. A good holiday , a change of scene even for a few days is good for the souI.
I hope you are feeling better today. Let me know how you are doing.

 

[jsesaic]

Thanks for the replies.

I have found talking about it helpful especially with people who are not my family! I always think i'll worry them if i tell them too much!