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Has this disease changed your sex life?

I was wondering how many of you have had to change your sexual preferences due to the disease progression, and what you changed?
I have become more and more an active top. It isn't my preference, but it is easier than trying to figure out if I will have a good day or bad day.


Absolutely! I get very weak and faint and when I'm in pain and exhausted the last thing I want to do is be sexual. It's hard for a partner to understand but luckily in my last relationship my boyfriend worked so much that he was exhausted and so we could be intimate when it was mutually convenient.

Aside from fatigue I cannot currently have anal sex and to be honest with my ostomy I'm kind of afraid to even pursue anyone romantically for fear of rejection over my poop bag and my lack of ability to be a fully sexual partner.

It's great that you have been able to adapt. Do you find that by definition the sex isn't as important but rather the emotional intimacy and physical touch which doesn't need to involve sex as we know it.


Senior Member
Can an old straight guy offer condolences... and commiserate? Despite my advanced age, and the deterioration added to that by my disease.... everything still works. Whoopee, right? Wrong!!! First of all, my stamina post disease just ain't what it used to be. Second... my gut full of scar tissue means sexual activity is hit or miss proposition. It is pretty damn... aggravating.... frustrating... I met this extremely lovely lady last year, and as I said... everything still works... and there are times when I have some reserves of stamina left... BUT... some/little/any (take your pick, it is totally unpredictable) pelvic thrusting typically results in... either massive internal cramping (try staying "interested" with that as a distraction) OR same cramping WITH massive outburst of flatulence (talk about your mood disruptors) ... or occasionally (count your blessings)... everything goes according to plan. Problem is... there is no way to tell at the beginning what outcome it will be. I'd give up on it entirely... except.. the lady in question is such a dish that she really shouldn't risk going into a Greek restaurant. The cuddling, etc., is nice... AND, if you are male (regardless of orientation) sooner or later, you have to bid your favourite toy goodbye...... so..... it really isn't something that every man won't encounter at some point. AND (final thought) many people confuse intimacy and sexual gratification. I am almost ambidextrous.... so I can achieve gratification any time I wish. But have you ever tried to hug yourself? Want true intimacy? Try the non demand position... any position in which you can please your partner but it is physically impossible for them to reciprocate. So there are no demands placed upon them... no expectations, no obligations, just their pleasure.
Being straight, it has changed mine. Intercourse hasn't been happening for me and the husband lately. I feel terrible, but any bouncing or pressure in the area just hurts way too much :( He still gets pleasured though,apparently enough that he actually mentioned that he has never received so much oral sex from me ;)


My Crohn's definitely impacted my sex life last year. I was dealing with a peri-anal fistula (and didn't know it, yet) and was in so much pain that I could hardly move, let alone be sexually active. Multiple hospital stays and one surgery later, I was honestly too afraid to even try for awhile. I eventually got the courage to ask my surgeon about it and she said it would be fine, haha.

We may or may not have tried before I asked her, though, so I already kind of knew the answer. Just had to be very careful for a bit until it healed more, and then -- I ended up getting three yeast infections from my antibiotics and couldn't have sex anyway. Flagyl/Cipro is terrible stuff.

And then my libido tanked once I got that cured, go figure. :p Now my SO and I are able to sex just like before, which is pretty great. Unfortunately I think this kind of ruined my chances at anal sex, though. Still have more healing to do!
Openly gay 21 year old guy here and have been out since I was 16. I've found over the past year, my sex life has been affected negatively during really bad flares and lately, I've been afraid to be intimate with guys a bit. Libido is there, but feeling up to isn't at times.
It has a huge impact, my sex drive is zero and when I'm struggling with crohns I feel pretty bad in myself which makes intimacy a struggle
I find my sex drive has been declining. I just don't feel sexy when my guts are roiling and burning :( I enjoy sex when we have it, but I find I am less likely to be the one that starts it lately....
I couldn't have sex with my girlfriend for about 5 months :( luckily she was really supportive and understood even if she did try to persuade me sometimes. We did try but I would just flake out and neither if us got any enjoyment from it. I felt really embarrassed so we just didn't do it. But I had an ileostomy 4 weeks ago and no sex changed last night. Although I was nervous because I wasn't sure how she felt about it and I didn't want to hurt my stoma. But it was fine we even went again this morning lol. This ileostomy has helped so much I have so much more energy. I know how you all feel and I am only 21 btw. I hope you all start to feel better soon and can get back on the bandwagon.
I've often joked that as a gay dude with Crohns, that my ass is pretty much always empty and ready to go.

The part that doesn't get mentioned when joking is about how after too many rounds of purging and wiping that day, my ass is on fire and raw and even the thought of some festive buggery makes me cringe. The disease has changed me in that I default to active top now, with a very rare bout of bottoming...

Husband and I've been together for 10 years (married for 3) so, as happens, it's less about the carnal lust, and more about the intimacy and caring. Would have been a foreign concept to me in my younger years, but once yer partner's had to help clean you up after a post-surgery explosive mess... well... ya don't get looked at with porno eyes, but the look goes a whole lot deeper.
Not so much until recently. The desire's not gone at all, but the ability is gone a lot lately.

Some of my issues are starting to improve, so maybe things'll start looking up.

Porno eyes... hehee.. love that.

My BF has started mentioning to close friends and some family that he is now under doctor's orders to touch my butt. I really wish he'd stop telling my mom that, however.

He's been there for me so many ways... most of them NOT AT ALL sexy or fun, but he does try to find the fun.