I feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, hopeless, frustrated, scared, angry, depressed. there's not enough words to explain how i feel right now. I tried to get my GI appt. bumped up, but they said the standard wait time is 6 weeks....Don't really know, why, but that's what they do. My Unemployment is up today, and i just am not ready to get back to work. But, i have to....I'll try doing a night shift next week and see how it goes.....we need the money, and there's no other options for $$ because i haven't worked long enough to qualify for long term disability. Trying not to stress too much about money, because it will work out, we just can't move, which we really need/want to, because we're really not happy here.
And this is just messing with my 5 year plan! We were supposed to be trying for a baby right now, but i don't see that happening any time soon. I really just feel so angry at life right now. I'm miserable, i hate people right now. I treat dan like crap, and he doesn't deserve it. I try not too, but i think i really take things out on him. He's amazing, super supportive, but we all have our breaking point, and i feel like he's near his. I feel like our marriage is not getting a good chance to get off the ground. I just want to lock myself in the bathroom and not come out until this is all done, or i die in there...I know it sounds morbid, but i just stinking am tired of living. Don't worry, i'm not going to be committing suicide, but i've just had enough. I'm at the end of my ropes, but there's just nothing i can do.
thanks for listening, i just need to get it all off my chest. dan is really supportive and listens well, but he just hates when i talk like this and i hate when he worries, it just makes things worse for me. :depressed:
And this is just messing with my 5 year plan! We were supposed to be trying for a baby right now, but i don't see that happening any time soon. I really just feel so angry at life right now. I'm miserable, i hate people right now. I treat dan like crap, and he doesn't deserve it. I try not too, but i think i really take things out on him. He's amazing, super supportive, but we all have our breaking point, and i feel like he's near his. I feel like our marriage is not getting a good chance to get off the ground. I just want to lock myself in the bathroom and not come out until this is all done, or i die in there...I know it sounds morbid, but i just stinking am tired of living. Don't worry, i'm not going to be committing suicide, but i've just had enough. I'm at the end of my ropes, but there's just nothing i can do.
thanks for listening, i just need to get it all off my chest. dan is really supportive and listens well, but he just hates when i talk like this and i hate when he worries, it just makes things worse for me. :depressed: