Hello

[stephensgirl]

Hi I am new to the forum. I myself do not have any form of IBD but my boyfriend does. I am an almost 38 yr old mother of 2. I love my man with all my heart but he is not an especially verbal guy about anything. I have done some talking to him about his Crohn's and have done online research but figured the best way to get information and help is from others more talkative that also suffer the same problem. He was diagnosed in his teens and has had surgery to remove 15' of his small intestine. He has trouble digesting certain foods and if he he eats them even in small doses he has some major flair ups. He is also in the process of getting disability as he can't work full time. He never knows when he will have a flair up and can spend almost all day in the bathroom. I feel terrible for him as I suffer my own very mild bladder and bowel issues although nothing like him or any of you. I would love to hear from all of you with any information to help me understand how he feels, how i can help him especially when it comes to foods and their preparation. Thanks so much to everyone.

 

[Sybil Vane]

Hi Stephensgirl, welcome to the forum! I think the best thing would be to just read other posts. Once my husband started going on Crohn's forums, he understood what I was going through much better, although he was always compassionate like you. He never doubted me. I think it's important not to say anything to him when he eats something that might cause a flare. It is a personal pet peeve of mine when my hubby catches me eating a salad and says, "Should you be eating that?" It changes the relationship from supportive to jailer. But I think you could incorporate a lot of non-residue foods in any meals you make that you share with him. I personally love this book: http://www.amazon.com/New-Eating-Right-Bad-Gut/dp/0452279763. I've found that during flares I feel better when drinking Ensure and eating soft foods with low fiber and no seeds. Eggs, white bread toast (although some advocate no gluten), bananas, apple sauce, canned veggies when I feel better, peanut butter on toast, etc. I hope this helps!!

 

[SarahBear]

Welcome to the forum!

Do you happen to know if your boyfriend is seeing a gastroenterologist or taking any medications?

For information about food sensitivities and diets, you can check out the Diet, Fitness, and Supplements section of the forum, here. There are a few specific diets that can help some people control their symptoms, but most of us just try to be more conscious of our health and what we eat. The best thing would be to ask him to list the foods he knows upsets his stomach so you can avoid them when cooking. Raw veggies and fruits, dairy, spicy foods, and coffee are all common trigger foods, but it varies so much from person to person that only he can tell you for sure what foods he needs to avoid.

:hug: I hope things improve for him soon!

 

[CLynn]

Hi Stephensgirl, welcome to the forum! I think the best thing would be to just read other posts. Once my husband started going on Crohn's forums, he understood what I was going through much better, although he was always compassionate like you. He never doubted me. I think it's important not to say anything to him when he eats something that might cause a flare. It is a personal pet peeve of mine when my hubby catches me eating a salad and says, "Should you be eating that?" It changes the relationship from supportive to jailer. But I think you could incorporate a lot of non-residue foods in any meals you make that you share with him. I personally love this book: http://www.amazon.com/New-Eating-Right-Bad-Gut/dp/0452279763. I've found that during flares I feel better when drinking Ensure and eating soft foods with low fiber and no seeds. Eggs, white bread toast (although some advocate no gluten), bananas, apple sauce, canned veggies when I feel better, peanut butter on toast, etc. I hope this helps!!

Sybil, I had a friend who sells vitamins copy me pages of the first book, back in the 90's. I still have and still refer to my copies, and have made copies for other people when needed. I especially loved the section on what vitamins we need, that helped immensely!!!
So, Stephensgirl, I would highly recommend the new one to you and him as well. Hugs!

 

[stephensgirl]

Thank you to both of you. Yes he sees a gastroenterologist and is on meds. He has told me he can't handle tomatoes because of the seeds however when it comes to other foods I'm not so sure he even knows which ones cause a flare as he can go weeks with no problem and then get really bad for days.I know he is one of the ones that suffer the lesions around his rectum and that his rectum itself is almost pure scar tissue. I'm not sure how he even has a bowel movement. I am incredibly supportive of him. I know some sufferes can have issues feeling attractive and I make sure to tell him all the time how sexy I think he is. We joke and tease around about his gas. I am however beginning to wonder if my daughter doesn't have some form of IBD as she regularily suffers several of the symptoms. Should I ask a doctor to test her or should I wait and see if more symptoms appear first? Thanks for the book reference and I will get it soon and added you to facebook. Many thanks and hugs to everyone.

 

[Sybil Vane]

You sound like the perfect, supportive partner that every Crohnie needs. I would definitely take your daughter to the family doctor just to get an opinion on whether or not she should see a GI. I'm not too familiar with the Canadian system, but I always advocate getting checked out! See you on FB!!

 

[SarahBear]

You sound incredibly supportive!

Has he considered starting a food journal to keep track of what foods upset his stomach? That way he'll better know what to avoid and be careful with, and possibly avoid a lot of flares.

About your daughter, what symptoms does she have?

 

[stephensgirl]

It easy for me to be supportive as I love him so much. Also several family members of mine have been diagnosed with diabetes and so diet is very important to them too. I have fairly regular family dinners so when cooking to not set off the diabetics I don't want to set him off either. I think not being supportive of friends and family when they suffer from serious ailments is one of the rudest things you can do. As I mentioned before I may not have anything as serious as all of you but even my minor bowel issues give me a measure of understanding yet can't possibly imagine the pain some of you really go through.

 

[stephensgirl]

She has an excessive amount of bowel movements and they range from very hard causing blood vessel damage to diarrhea and that's per day. She also regularly complains of stomach pains. She gets rashes on her bum and around her rectum and seems to have issues with certain foods although she has not tested positive for any food allergies. It may be that she just has irritable bowel like her mother but i have a doctors appointment soon for both my kids so I will ask the doctor when I go

 

[SarahBear]

So there is blood in her stool? If there's blood, she absolutely needs to see a doctor. If not, it could be IBS, especially if you have it as well. A food journal might be a good idea for her, as well. How old is she?

 

[stephensgirl]

She's 9 will be 10 next month a few days after I turn 38 lol she is my brithday girl. And occasionally there has been blood in the stool i figured it was coming from broken blood vessels but now i wonder. I will definitely ask our doctor at our next appointment. I am not a big fan of doctors as my son has been suffering a leg problem for over a year and they still can't figure out what's wrong and my daughter has joint issues that they keep telling me is normal. So we will see

 

[SarahBear]

Is she extremely active? What kind of joint issues? IBD can cause joint pain (as you probably know), so I'd definitely keep an eye on things. A colonoscopy sounds like a good idea at this point.

:hug: I hope things go well!

 

[stephensgirl]

She has persistent cracking and mild pain in her joints. At 9 this does not seem normal to me and has been happening for a couple years now every doctor says it's normal. She is very active but can't move any joint without it cracking and she says sometimes it really hurts especially her elbows and ankles

 

[SarahBear]

Doesn't sound normal to me.

There are definitely other things it could be rather than IBD, but it should definitely be checked out.

 

[CrohnsChicago]

if your daughter is having joint pains (especially in the hip), I would definitely push to get her some bone x-rays at least. It could be there is an IBD issue, but there could also be another situation going on.

I had the same problem around her age, turns out I had what is called Femoral Epiphysiolysis which can happen in adolesence. Basically my cartiledge had worn out between my hip and caused a lot of joint pain and even limping. When they finally figured out what was wrong, I required hip surgery to place a pin in my hip and restore mobility to my left hip. I'm 29 now and will more likely than not need a hip replacement when I get older.

Definitely make sure she gets checked out.

She's 9 will be 10 next month a few days after I turn 38 lol she is my brithday girl. And occasionally there has been blood in the stool i figured it was coming from broken blood vessels but now i wonder. I will definitely ask our doctor at our next appointment. I am not a big fan of doctors as my son has been suffering a leg problem for over a year and they still can't figure out what's wrong and my daughter has joint issues that they keep telling me is normal. So we will see

 

[stephensgirl]

every joint cracks and hurts but it's more her elbows and ankles that bother her then the other joints but they all crack repeatedly and constantly the problem is everytime I bring it up with the doctor they tell me it's normal but i will request the she at least x ray her

 

[Jennifer]

Sorry I didn't read every post so forgive me if some of this is repeated stephensgirl.

Food does not cause flares but it can be irritate already inflamed bowels and I'm wondering if he may also be dealing with some short bowel syndrome as well. If he's not on medication to help control either then I hope that he'll seek out the help of a GI to get this possible flare under control.

Avoiding foods that are a known trigger helps with symptoms. Everyone is different though so if he keeps a food diary then he'll be able to remember what foods didn't sit well in the past. During a flare I tend to follow the Low Residue diet. You can make anything low residue. Its just low fat, low sodium, etc.

As far as helping him goes, all you can really do is be there for him. Can't force people to open up about their problems. I know it makes you feel helpless but you're really not. We need people to be there for us. We don't expect anyone to fully understand but we need a support system. For me having people fully understand my symptoms isn't important to me. I want people to listen and to care and give support when I need it and to not judge me or put me down in any way. Feel free to check out the subforum for partners, family and friends: http://www.crohnsforum.com/forumdisplay.php?f=90

Just read your responses in thread stephensgirl. What medications is he taking? As for your daughter I was 9 when I was diagnosed and had blood in my stool. She should see a doctor right away as people with IBS do not bleed (you can have a doctor check for hemorrhoids etc). An x-ray would show any arthritis which is common with Crohn's.