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Here for my husband

My husband was diagnosed in January and he's been on a rollercoaster since, mostly heading downward unfortunately. He was put on Humira 3 months after diagnosis (started him on steroids and mesalamine but no real improvement), took it for 12 weeks, gave up after a dosage where he took it on the Friday night and felt dreadful the whole weekend long. After a 10 week break from the Humira, he's back on it because he sensed he was getting worse and deemed it worth a second shot.

We're used to travelling to some pretty cool far off and remote places for holidays but this year he's reluctant to even get in a plane to Spain due to the Crohn's. I've been reading forums about preparing to fly etc but really I'm looking for some help with regards to the psychological effects of a diagnosis. He's got it pretty easy compared to some of the stories I read on here and on the Facebook Crohn's pages, but that doesn't help him in the sense that day to day he's still struggling and feels awful.

In an ideal world he'd be fit enough to run 10 miles a day, but he lost so much weight in the initial few months of his first major flare that he's really fatigued and can just about manage a 3 mile walk. It's my dream to get him back to full fitness and eventually on a holiday where he can relax totally, but in the meantime I'm looking for any tips on foodstuffs that might be of use- I make him suped-up protein shakes, made up of foliage (spinach etc), fruit, juice, protein powder and bananas, to hike up his calorie intake but often he can barely stomach a sandwich.

Sorry for the long introduction and the slight tangents, but I just want to make him feel "normal" again!
 

scottsma

Well-known member
Location
Tynemouth,
hello and welcome.I can't give you much help,but I would like to say that he's lucky to have you on his side.Please don't take this the wrong way,but I would let him go at his own pace.Missing trips abroad is a small price to pay until he gets on the path to remission.There is a carers/spouse thread on the forum which will be of more help.Best wishes to you both and I hope things get back on track soon.
 
Hi scottsma

Many thanks for the reply, I'll be sure to look at the spouse forum! Don't worry, I'm not moaning at him about not going abroad or anything - I'm just grateful for some quality time together away from the stresses of work etc!

:ybatty:
 

scottsma

Well-known member
Location
Tynemouth,
Hi,I hope you didn't think I was having a go, as I really wasn't.But I do know the effect this awful curse has on everybody.My husband is patience personified and sometimes I feel really guilty for spoiling things.But stress makes it worse for me,so it's a vicious circle.I'm sure you will get the support you need on the thread I mentioned.It's not just the diagnosed who need help.I hope things get better soon.
 
I'm sure he'll get better when the correct drug treatment/food combo is figured out for him.

I was the same when I was first diagnosed. SO tired and afraid to go anywhere.

I'm not sure if you are keeping your future wishes to yourself at home, but I would suggest you do for a few months more, at least. If you tell him how you want him to be healthy again (even if you don't mention to go on holiday), it is added pressure to him. He will feel like he's disappointing you and that only adds stress and stress adds to flares.

Good luck. He'll get through this and you'll be back on holiday jaunts soon.
 
Location
UK
I thought I'd give you my own personal take on travelling abroad.
We booked to go to Mexico next January just before all this started for me, which is about three months ago.
After initially thinking I would be all sorted by now, I realise that was totally unrealistic and yesterday we had a conversation about what to do about Mexico.
We've both decided that neither of us wants the stress of worrying whether I'll be fit to travel/cope with early morning flights/long haul flights/etc so are going to cancel. Fortunately we've only paid the deposit, the balance is due in October.
I feel a lot happier now the decision has been taken, and so is my husband.
It's not the end of the world, I'm sure that at some point we'll both feel confident to give a foreign holiday a go again...just not yet!
Bunty x
 
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