Here you go. Crohn's, Anxiety and Depression

[jsav0212]

I am 23 years old. I remember the day it started. I was sleeping and was awoken in the middle of the night by sharp pain in my chest area. I thought I was in a nightmare being stabbed. I woke up and couldn't get this feeling to go away. Got worse and worse. Silly me thought I was having a heart attack. I WAS WRONG. it was good ol' acid reflux. Holy hell that hurt. I didn't know that the next 4 years + was going to be full of pain and confusion. At the time I was dating someone at the time who thought I was "complaining" about my symptoms. Then I realized it was about 2 weeks (yes, 2 friggin weeks) since I had my last bowel movement( I would have used SHIT but thats not very lady like as people say). I was never hungry nor had to ever go number 2. All I kept doing was getting strange pains in my stomach area. All I did was drink water so I didn't pass out from dehydration from trying to go number to. No fiber nor laxative could help. Finally when to the doctor to get an ultra sound. They realized I had a "whole family" of gallstones. Gallbladder was removed. Thought all my problems would be solved........


Not even a year passes and I notice I started feeling funny. I knew I wasn't pregnant so I knew it wasn't that. I started feeling nauseous more and more. I was having very painful( ok ill say it ) shits. Hurt so bad it was bleeding. This went on for 2 years with people non stop telling me I'm ok or i'm faking or exaggerating. Finally 2012 hit I started a new job. After 2 doctors giving me an endoscopy and colonoscopy ( so thats 2 times for both so far). They both said " oh its just ibs" heres lots of pills have a good day. Meanwhile before all of this I was 130 lbs 5'4 tall. After pillfest from doctors (about 7-8 months of just pills and life) I GAINED 40-50 pounds!!!. upon pills I need one more opinion. So I went to a doctor my family member requested. Did both procedures again, and ever stoll and blood test need. Oh yes.... Finally he figures it out. CROHNS. (i have a history of digestive problems on my dads side so I figured something along that range). But Now I was introduced to PENTASA. Sucky side effects very expensive.



With the mist of all of this shit I was diagnosed with Depression and anxiety at about age 18. I am Now 23 and have been put in the "extreme' Panic disorder category. Not to mention the depression has gotten worse.

You need to be calm most of the time with crohn's to not have an "episode(worsen with intestinal hemorrhoids)"
Damned if you do damned if you don't right? episodes all the time!

So, with the help of my regular doctor (because my gastroenterologist is very popular and BUSY) I decided to go to a wellness doctor who tried to figure out whats wrong on the inside without feeding you pills like its candy. In the mean time Im on a strict diet plan and Im very tired. My body feels like everything I eat it rejects it. I've learns in my experience its very hard to deal with this on your own. Its extremely hard to date. A lot of friends lost.

Unfortunately my story hasnt found its conclusion because I am kinda at the glass half empty kinda stage.

 

[nogutsnoglory]

Welcome to the forum of many other in pain, anxious and depressed people. There isn't much happiness in crohn's but there is some like the sense of community and the jokes we make here to lighten the mood.

What kind of diet are you on? Did your doctor prescribe it? What medication are you taking?

 

[shalin]

Hello jsav, I truely am sorry to hear how bad it has been for you. I do have a great suggestion for the anxiety and the depression. I was on meds due to these issues as well. We would just be sitting in the house or car and I would have a panic attack and need an inhaler to get my breath back. Upon talking with my family dr. We decided to start me off with some yoga. I went to Barnes and noble and got a cd with a book, started it and noticed a huge difference in my situation also I was able to control my bouts of flare-ups. The less stress and good watch over your diet is a key to success with crohns in my experience. Also as far as friends, if they are not willing to be with you through the tough times as well as the fun times than they truely weren't the type of friends needed. Through all my issues and surgeries the friends I have are always supporting and understanding. Good luck in the future and if you find it easier to go to a yoga class I highly recommend it.

 

[Jonnny]

hey jsav! I hope things get better. Someone once told me things can only get better.

I have been given so many drugs for this, and have gone though a physical and emotional rollercoaster. Months before I was diagnosed, I was 170 pounds and very strong. I remember one day I got on the scale and was 120ld. That was the worst time I was very depressed and doctor's gave me antidepressants, sleep medicine, welbutrin, pain pills, whatever. None of it did anything. I weened myself of the antidepressants and I stayed up all night taking ambien. I remember when I was diagnosed, the doctor said I have a lifelong disease with no cure and I could look the rest up online. I was like wtf!

At least the said you were "extreme." That's pretty cool. I would try to focus on getting healthy. Then do something you enjoy, and if you're not healthy, have fun anyway. I don't really have much of an answer for you but I can relate and I know how it feels.

 

[Justanothercp]

I too have been through the depression and anxiety, especially when my Crohns was out of control. It is hard to be in a relationship when you are consumed with not feeling well.
My suggestion is to take control of you own health. Especially with Crohns, so much of it is trial and error with medications and with what food you can tolerate. Find an MD you can talk to about how meds are/aren't working. Be strict about your diet and finding what works for you. And exercise, even if it is just 30 min walk daily.
I ended up having a small bowel resection which I thought was worst case scenario at the time, but I felt so much better afterwards. I still have to take a lot of meds, and get partial obstructions now and then, but I'm doing ok.
Wishing you the best!

 

[iriechic]

Don't feel alone. I totally get the depression/anxiety issues with IBD. It sucks. I only wish I could experience weeks of constipation. That would be a nice change for me. This disease really helps you to know your true friends from your so-so ones. Keep your chin up chica!

 

[Jim (POPS)]

jsav,
Hello and welcome to the forum. I'm just like you when I first got here about 2 years ago except I'm about 40 years older. I had just retired and then came crohns. Most people don't think of me as just another old man, I toured in a band for 8 years. I race real cars on mont Friday nights and most of my friends are around 20-35 years old. (because I had a sound co, and booked bands all over for may years.

The thing is, it DON'T matter how you are or where you come from in this forum. The support I have found has been the best. Even when in the hospital ALL of my crohnsfourm.com friends would keep up with me and help me keep my head high, thats we do here.

Like everyone, you will have your ups and downs but all that matters really is that we are alive and living wit, not for, crohns. Crohns con play with our body but it can never take over our mind if we don't let it. I've been sick as hell before but with a calm mind I was happy at the sametime. YOU WILL get better, keep coming around and let us all help keep your head up, it really works.

Jim (POPS)

 

[Working with Crohns]

Evening, I concur with Jim's response above - a positive attitude to dealing with Crohn's is a must. Similarly, and I take no pleasure in this, generally there is someone more worse off than yourself. Like Jim I am also aged 40. Despite having a fair bit of life experience I have refused to allow Crohn's to control me - this is despite the fact that I have a very demanding job. There have been days where I know I have been less than fit to work, but self belief and a PMA will get you through. Clearly if your health is that poor then you must see your consultant in order to get the best possible life - it is frustrating living with an unpredictable illness but remember that if you are walking, talking and breathing then it is not too bad of a day.