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Holy cow, where have I been?!

afidz

Super Moderator
First, I want to apologize for ghosting. The truth is, I was in a huge downward spiral. I was fighting against my mental health on top of my physical health and everything was overwhelming. I spent so much time helping people prior, I felt like nothing I was telling other people mattered if I wasn’t listening to my own advice. I didn’t feel like I was in the right place to be able to help anyone.

So. Where have I been?

For those who joined before my hiatus, you’ll remember that I fought endlessly to repair a hernia. Every surgeon turned their back on me, leaving me in worse condition than I was before. This kept happening over and over again. I fell into a really deep depression, but like all of you I hid it. I gained a massive amount of weight. My weight complicated the hernia repair even more because all of my organs vacated my abdominal cavity. I had what was called a loss of domain. My abdominal cavity was shrinking because there was nothing in it except fat. It made the repair next to impossible given my surgical history, and it made it very dangerous because my organs wouldn’t fit in the smaller space.

I don’t remember how much I’ve shared here, but I was really really sick. It was my darkest times. In 2016 I found a surgeon at Cleveland Clinic who’s passion is to restore quality of life for people like me. I got to losing weight, I pulled myself out of the depression and I started working towards improving my health enough to have the next surgery. It took 2 years. I had surgery in October 2018 and (obviously) survived it and am still intact to this day.

There’s so much more to this story than I’m telling, I don’t want to bore anyone with the details. However, I am still recovering from the surgery. My body went through an incredible amount of stress over 11 years. It is going to be a long time to reverse the damage that was done. You don’t realize how important your abdominal wall is until you don’t have one, almost none of my bones are in the correct place. It’s been really painful trying to convince muscles to move the correct way so that my bones will go back to the right place. Anyway, I am in physical therapy now. I’ve been going to the gym. I’m working really hard to get my life back. I’m hoping to start spending more time in here ❤ Talk soon

And on a random note, I feel like I should change my name on here 🤔 afidz was a play on my first and maiden name. Should I change it to represent my married name? 😂 (Jk Jenn. I’m not going to change it 🤪 )
 

Jennifer

Adminstrator
I'm glad you're doing well with your recovery. The days following your surgery were really scary for everyone receiving updates and I'm glad you pulled through. No more surgeries for you hopefully ever.

You can change your name to whatever you want. I like your current name though. Makes me think of bugs. :p
 

afidz

Super Moderator
I think it was only scary Jennifer because I didn’t tell anyone that they weren’t going to wake me up right away beforehand. I should have. Andrew and I both knew I would be out for a few days. However, we expected 2-3 days not 8. The surgery itself was scary, but once they closed me up Andrew wasn’t scared anymore.

And yes. No more surgeries!
 

Trysha

Moderator
Staff member
You have certainly had much to contend with Afidz and it is good to hear from you.
Hope you continue to make a good recovery.
 

afidz

Super Moderator
You have certainly had much to contend with Afidz and it is good to hear from you.
Hope you continue to make a good recovery.
Thanks Trysha! Sometimes I still don’t believe I’m on the other side of it.
 

David

Co-Founder
Staff member
Welcome back! It's great to see familiar faces around here. :) By all means, feel free to fill us in on the details. You're not boring people. It's what we're here for.
 
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