Im sitting here wondering where to start and as I do Im crying wondering why life had to be so cruel and how everyone else finds the strength to keep going with everyday life?
Im just really over this disease and how it affects my life and how unpredictable it is. I have been having episodes for the last couple of months on and off but each time my GP or GI put it down to medication not crohns itself which was great news as I wasn't having a flare and once fixed the med felt better again. Well this time feels different it feels exactly how my first flare was and is scaring the hell out of me. It all start on Friday night had trouble eating dinner then when I did straight to the loo afterwards. Sat morning I woke up with extreme nausea and loss of appetite which last most the day.. managed to pull myself together sat night and go over a friends place to have dinner with the girls and play wii. Had too late a night and woke up sunday feeling like crap struggling eating anything and then threw it all back up anyway. Ate lunch to only have to sit on the toilet for the next half hour or so. Then last night was the worse the nausea decided to stick around all night throbbing thru my whole body which in turn made me start thinking bad thoughts and how much I hate this disease. Didn't get much sleep last night, got up and vomited this morning and thought no you are going to make yourself go to work today.. you can do it Tanya... got ready for work and off I went to only get half way there and have to pull over to throw up. Safe to say I didn't go to work but headed straight to my mums place to have a good cry bout how much my life sucks. Probably doesn't help that my hubby has been away since Friday and gets back tonight so I haven't had anyone at home to just vent to or get a hug. Mums are great for that tho. I got to mums place and threw up again and had another few BM. I went for a 1.5 hr sleep which was great but still not feeling much better. Manage to get some food down and hoping it stays down. I did make an appointment with a GP but ended up canceling as I know they will just say see your spec. So Im waiting on my GI to return my call to see what I should do. I feeling lost and down at the moment and feel bad for not going to work.. I know they understand and there is no use me being there when I end up running to the bathroom to throw up all the time and plus I have no energy I probably just fall asleep at my desk. Sorry Im rambling. It probably also doesn't help that we have severe weather at the moment with gale force winds and heavy flash flooding rain so its just as depressing outside.. bloody cyclone up north bring all this heavy depressing rain!
Why does life have to be like this and how do you all find the strength to keeping going everyday when you are feeling like death.
Thanks for listening to my venting it feels good to get it off my chest... sorry its so long.:depressed:
Im just really over this disease and how it affects my life and how unpredictable it is. I have been having episodes for the last couple of months on and off but each time my GP or GI put it down to medication not crohns itself which was great news as I wasn't having a flare and once fixed the med felt better again. Well this time feels different it feels exactly how my first flare was and is scaring the hell out of me. It all start on Friday night had trouble eating dinner then when I did straight to the loo afterwards. Sat morning I woke up with extreme nausea and loss of appetite which last most the day.. managed to pull myself together sat night and go over a friends place to have dinner with the girls and play wii. Had too late a night and woke up sunday feeling like crap struggling eating anything and then threw it all back up anyway. Ate lunch to only have to sit on the toilet for the next half hour or so. Then last night was the worse the nausea decided to stick around all night throbbing thru my whole body which in turn made me start thinking bad thoughts and how much I hate this disease. Didn't get much sleep last night, got up and vomited this morning and thought no you are going to make yourself go to work today.. you can do it Tanya... got ready for work and off I went to only get half way there and have to pull over to throw up. Safe to say I didn't go to work but headed straight to my mums place to have a good cry bout how much my life sucks. Probably doesn't help that my hubby has been away since Friday and gets back tonight so I haven't had anyone at home to just vent to or get a hug. Mums are great for that tho. I got to mums place and threw up again and had another few BM. I went for a 1.5 hr sleep which was great but still not feeling much better. Manage to get some food down and hoping it stays down. I did make an appointment with a GP but ended up canceling as I know they will just say see your spec. So Im waiting on my GI to return my call to see what I should do. I feeling lost and down at the moment and feel bad for not going to work.. I know they understand and there is no use me being there when I end up running to the bathroom to throw up all the time and plus I have no energy I probably just fall asleep at my desk. Sorry Im rambling. It probably also doesn't help that we have severe weather at the moment with gale force winds and heavy flash flooding rain so its just as depressing outside.. bloody cyclone up north bring all this heavy depressing rain!
Why does life have to be like this and how do you all find the strength to keeping going everyday when you are feeling like death.
Thanks for listening to my venting it feels good to get it off my chest... sorry its so long.:depressed: