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How do you help others understand..

My name is Rebecca, I am 24 years old and have had Crohn's for 7 years. I am currently a full time online student and work full time. I work in the restaurant industry, which is fast paced and can be taxing on me. Most days I spend most of my time as a Secretary, which is a desk job and I can do no problem, however, in order to get enough hours I do host, bus and serve tables also for at least two 4 hour shifts a week. Most days I get home and do homework for school and then am totally wiped.

Lately I have been having a really bad flare and I am totally wiped, have been to the ER twice and am in at least low level pain (if not worse) all the time. I feel like I am running all the time and know that I am going to run myself into the ground if I don't change something. I have done it so many times before that I know this cycle. My boyfriend is really trying to pick up the slack around the house and has been doing all the housework along with working close to full time hours. I have told him my concerns about doing too much, but we both know we need me to financially work full time and I need to be in school. He keeps just saying that I am stressing about something that may or may not happen. How can I translate my concerns about over exerting myself and ending up worse off so he might understand? Last time I tried to push myself like this I ended up in the hospital with a partial obstruction (which I did not have to surgery for thankfully) and I have a major fear that will happen again. Thank you for any and all replies.


Super Moderator
I would suggest having your boyfriend read "The Spoon Theory" if he hasn't already. It is an essay that was written by a woman who has Lupus, and it's all about what it's like to live every day with a chronic illness and how it affects energy levels, etc. I think this could open your boyfriend's eyes as to why you only have a limited number of "spoons" every day so you're not able to overdo things. Here's the link:


I hope that helps. Hang in there and I hope you get through this flare soon!