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How do you know if you're depressed?

how do i know if it's actually depression? i know you can be down and depressed, but i mean, chemical imbalance?

i always thought that if someone is depressed they can't bring themselves to get out of bed and function normally everyday.

and maybe they cry a lot and withdraw.

i am very moody. i can be fine, but then i have down phases... if i was clinically depressed (or whatever the term is), wouldn't i be like this all the time?


has anyone here been diagnosed with depression?


- i find myself crying a more again (as i type this i'm crying), i hadn't cried for a while because i had distractions, but now that i'm alone more again, i am crying and feeling sad

- i've gained a lot of weight.... eat foods that i know i shouldn't eat, will just keep packing it in because in the back of my mind i hope that it'll make me sick enough to throw up.

- i hate going out in public... i hate the effort or energy it takes to get ready, but i'll usually make myself get ready when i have to, but sometimes if i'm just going to the store or something i don't even care how i look.

- i hate when friends invite me out... i'll tell them 'yes! no problem, it will be good to see you' cuz i think it's far away and i should see them, but then as the date nears, i usually back out or just think of how much i don't wanna see them.

- i talk to my mom everyday, but i don't visit my family.

- i avoid situations where i know i'll have to interact with new people (e.g. meeting a boyfriend's family, going out with a friends of friends - like a group of people i am unfamiliar with)...

- every time i look in the mirror i'm disgusted with my body and the blemishes on my face.

- i have no sex drive.... i recently broke up with my boyfriend because i just don't have the sexual desire for him that i should and i feel like i don't get the romantic feelings i used to get - i mean, i'll care, but it's not at the level it should be. i felt like it was unfair to expect him to be with me when he's not being treated how he deserves - oh btw, sometimes i'd lash out at him, yelling and even physically became aggressive to him (e.g. punching or squeezing his arm).... i've never done that to a boyfriend before...

- i struggle in school, it takes me a long time to process things, my memory and concentration has gotten worse.

- i feel low energy and lazy, most everyday tasks are annoying, like doing laundry and cooking.

- everyday i think about life and death, and think about how i'm not a likeable person... and fear that when i die, not many people would attend my funeral or there isn't much to say about me.

i always wonder what my life purpose is. i feel like what i do in life isn't good enough.
 
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i am scared to tell a doctor because i don't want to be prescribed more medication... also, the side effects of depression meds as far as i know only make things worse like you become more tired and have a low sex drive


i have a GI appt this Friday, i might discuss it, but i dunno.
 
also, if i was actually depressed chemically, how come i was fine taking prednisone? when i took it i felt happy, energetic, no emotional issues.... i had very mild anxiety symptoms (which i get even when i'm off pred, but increased during pred - i.e. waking up abruptly at night with a racing heart and thinking i forgot to take my medication)
 
Cheeky,
I'm in the same boat you are..you know, the sinking one. haha. Seriously, I'm on Pristiq and feel it isn't helping. I've been on it for about 6 months now. I was always told if you have the symptoms for longer than 2 weeks, you are depressed. It takes a lot of trial and error to find a med that works for you. It can be worth it though. Hang in there. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Take care.
Hugs
Kristi
 
Thanks so much for your support kristi, i hope things get better for you too.

it's so weird, was just watching oprah and the repeat episode where Montel Williams discusses his MS and being depressed, the 2 week thing re: depression symptoms came up.

i was thinking about it, and it seems like the times when i have felt better is when i have been exercising consistently.... and eating better. the combination of better physical care and feeling better about my appearance helps... doesn't make all of the negative thoughts go away but makes me a little more sociable which also helps.

i'll try to get it together and exercise, but just feeling very unmotivated at the moment. maybe seeing my GI will help me feel better.
 
Exercise definitely has helped me...no real energy to feel like going out and doing anything, but a simple walk around the block or do a mile or two can do wonders, for me anyways. Music or no music, sometimes helps to just clear the head. Also I find writing/journaling helps me as well, just get thoughts out, although I suppose this forum is good for that too.

I love to marinate on the couch when I don't feel well, head or tum, but my dog is my push to get up and outside for a walk...so you could also get a dog? :)
 
I don't think to be depressed you have to get to the stage where you cannot function. I do believe depression can be a constant annoying background issue too, I think sometimes inside though you just know. It certainly sounds like you are going through a really sustained low mood right now. There is a big link between depression and physical illness too I'm sure.

I feel uneasy associating the word depression and myself, I'm not sure why because it's not anything we should be ashamed of. I was always reluctant to take medication, I only ever had Diazepam for sleeping and anxiety issues because I don't think anything will necessarily 'cure' me. Maybe you can relate to the feeling of having just too many issues? I very often feel down, like everything swallows me up from one side or the other. It's enough that I self harm, but I have been diagnosed with OCD, anorexia and purging disorder, it's all connected. For a long time I didn't want any help and it's true you can't help someone if they don't want it, but now I almost feel I'm stuck and I spent too many years hurting. That's the most frustrating thing I think - I can have all the times I missed back.

I am under a psychiatric team now however and they have suggested if the case be I feel medication is a bad move, I take a long term course of CBT soon. The idea of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is to change the negative thoughts and replace them with more healthy ones, to me it sounds worth trying atleas. You can usually ask your doctor for a referral if you think it might be for you.
 
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Depression is a part of chronic illness. I don't know anyone who is sick all the time who is not depressed. And it's a double edged sword. The more depressed you are, the worse the CD gets. If you feel you need mood enhancing drugs, then take them (even if it's just temporarily). You need to have a positive outlook in order to help you overcome your disease.
 
Oh, also exercise, Omega-3 and vitamin D (15-20 mins sunlight a day) is very important to combat depression. This may be enough for you.
 
I wouldn't exactly agree that depression is a part of a chronic illness. I do not think I'm depressed.

I do think that we (as people with chronic illness) have a lot more crap (ha literally!) to deal with than the average person, so we have to cope and get through things... but I don't think that means a person is depressed. Sure I get sad... but I get sad about things that I'm ENTITLED to be sad about... when someone tells you "this is your last resort before we give you a complete colostomy" YEAH... I'm gonna be upset for a while... but you have to play with the cards you are dealt. To me I feel depression is when you are sad for no real reason. WE HAVE reasons... and we should go through life and deal with these problems we face and live life as best we can.

Chronic illness does not have to mean chronic depression. I know there is chemical proof that imbalances can occur in the body's hormone levels and that can cause depression... but I also feel that you control your outlook on life.

To respond to Cheeky:

I have almost all of those same feelings you describe when I'm flaring. Now that I'm on steroids, I'm not having those feelings. I don't want you to overlook a possible problem with depression, but I do want to let you know that the way you are feeling is normal for someone who is constantly fatigued, anemic, and dealing with pain. Your body is working harder than it would were you not dealing with a disease. But I don't think that's depression... I think its a lack of nutrients, fatigue and just dealing with Crohn's. Honestly... your first post of symptoms could have been written by me 2 weeks ago before I was on Prednisone and flaring horribly. I truly feel that once you get a handle on the Crohn's, you will be able to get a handle on your life... I'm starting to catch up on the things I've been too "lazy" to do for the past 6 or 7 months and I'm starting to feel better about myself...

I understand how horrible you feel right now... at least I know what I felt when I was having the same symptoms as you. I felt lost, unsexy, out of control, and generally ill-fit as a person. The only thing I can tell you is to cope the best way you know how... and know that once you get a handle on the disease, the "depression-like" feelings will go away.

I just don't think that depression and chronic illness have to go hand in hand. It's okay to feel the way you do... your body is working hard, whether it looks like it is on the outside or not.

I hope this post is understandable... I understand what I mean... HA! but a lot of people may not...
 
Hmm. I've kinda dealt with depression for a few years now. It kinda started with my last big flare, and then never went away after. I've been medicated, which helps a little, but not completely. I mean, I have a lot of the symptoms you describe. Mostly the low energy, not wanting to do anything/go anywhere, no sex drive (haven't had one for years and I'm a teenager...a little depressing. :(), concentration issues, moodiness, no respect for self-image. I feel like being on antidepressant doesn't rid me of the symptoms completely, but it lessens them to an extent that they are more manageable. I know this because if I'm in one of those moods where I keep on making my own mood worse no matter what I think about, or if I don't take the meds for a few days, then I'm far more miserable.

Like Katie says though, depression doesn't have to be a part of chronic illness. We're just more prone to it, especially when we're flaring. It's totally possible that these feelings will fade for you once you feel more up to snuff. I hope you manage to find relief though!
 
Depression can be a result of taking prednisone.

From article posted above:

"People who live with chronic diseases, such as IBD, are at increased risk of experiencing depression. There are probably many reasons for the increased risk. The losses and frustrations that come with living with a disease; the biological effects of inflammation (since many of the body's chemicals that increase immunity and inflammation also have effects on the brain); and the effects of medications, such as prednisone, may all contribute to depression."

This could help explain it.
 
I've had a lot of depression trying to get my symptoms under control these past several weeks and dealing with the diagnosis and changes in my lifestyle as a result. The doctor prescribed Celexa (I hated the thought of taking an antidepressant!!) and it has helped tremendously. I'm still frustrated with the side effects of all the meds and such but I'm able to get a better handle on things. ...at least for now.

I hope you find something that helps you, too. I know another person suggested exercise and a dog. Exercise definitely does help, just some sort of movement. It makes me feel more normal. The dog suggestion is a great one, too. They really just want love and to be with you. It's a great feeling! :)

*big hugs*
 
hey all, thank you SO MUCH for all of the supportive replies...

i feel like such a headcase because today, i feel fine. see what i mean? it's weird.

i'll have very low points like that, where i'm crying thinking 'i dunno why i keep crying' and some of those thoughts i've mentioned... but then i guess the crying and getting it out on here helped? also, my ex-boyfriend came by to keep me company yesterday.

i think it might be connected to hormones and flaring.... because that seems to be when i'm at my worst.

i'm still going to mention this to my new GI, because these drastic mood swings have been a major concern ever since i've been getting the crohn's symptoms.

also, regarding the anxiety, funny story about that....

a few years ago, before i was diagnosed, i would sometimes wake up at night with major discomfort in my chest, and it restricted my breathing, because if i tried to breathe in i was in pain (i thought i was gonna die, i'd get so scared)....when the feeling would hit, i'd have to sit on my couch and calm myself down by trying to breathe and telling myself that i'm not gonna die.

i used to always feel scared at night, thinking something might happen to me or i was gonna die alone

so i mentioned it to my doctor, and she told me 'sounds like you're having panic attacks'.... and she said that she didn't want to just hand me a prescription, and recommended looking into a free counselling program.

as soon as she explained what it was.... they just went away! i guess mentally, i knew i wasn't gonna die.... but i still experience other anxiety symptoms, just not the panic attacks. only sometimes though... i jump up at night, heart racing and feeling scared and like i forgot something. i also have OCD tendencies... my ex-boyfriend has OCD actually, so i know i don't have full blown OCD

anyway, i know there is something going on with me, but it's never consistent. i'm going to have to definitely discuss it with my GI and get some testing done.
 
this board is awesome. thank god it's here, or i'd probably be worse off.

feels so good to have somewhere to go when i have questions, concerns or just need to vent. you all understand what i'm going through.

you all just made my day. *hugs*

sincerely, thank you.
 
cheeky said:
i am scared to tell a doctor because i don't want to be prescribed more medication... also, the side effects of depression meds as far as i know only make things worse like you become more tired and have a low sex drive


i have a GI appt this Friday, i might discuss it, but i dunno.
Hi Cheeky,

I read through your entries a few times trying to think of where to begin. I truly feel your pain and understand what you may be going through. Unfortunately, Depression still carries with it a huge social stigma and a good deal of stereotypes. This is often perpetuated by the media- it never helps those of us with the disease when the media talks about the latest in a line of people who went "snappy" and hurt someone. The anchor often closes the tale of tragedy with, "Family members say ____ was depressed and had stopped taking his medication." This type of reporting only serves to perpetuate the stereotype.

Additionally, there is a huge misconception with those who are not familiar with the disease in thinking that people with depression are just sad or mopey. This group will often offer some real helpful gems of advice. ::::sarcasm::::

Additionally, there is a huge stigma that people taking antidepressants must face.
Taking these pills is just like taking a pill to address any other medical condition. You may take an aspirin, tylenol, or perhaps a prescribed med to assisting with managing a bad headache. Most people would rather go this route than to have to sit with the headache without intervention. So why suffer with depression if you do not have to?

Cheeky, please do not try to rationalize these symptoms away. If you are feeling the way you do, take care of yourself by reaching out to your Dr. for help. You have many of the signs and symptoms of someone that is suffering from depression. Choosing to avoid chances at social interaction, aches and pains, inability to focus and concentrate, as well as challenges with memory and a lack of energy can all be symptoms of depression.

Conversely, they may be symptoms of a variety of different conditions so please be sure to discuss it with a medical professional. Do not try to fix it yourself with Natural Remedies. While there may be merit in these cures for many issues, they are not subject to the same rules and regulations, meaning that two capsules of Saint John's Wort may have different doses.

Ok, I feel like I am on a soapbox here and that was not the intent. If you are feeling depressed, it does not mean you are WEAK, CRAZY, or being WINEY. It may mean that you have a medical condition that in turn needs medicine to improve.



Not all of the meds make you feel worse, that is a bit of a half-truth. Some of the meds will make you feel poorly. This is likely a sign that the med is not at the right level (dose) or is simply not the right med. It is very important that if you feel worse after starting the med, you contact your doc right away.


Cheeky, please try to be fair to yourself. Having a chronic disease like Crohn's just plain sucks and can drag you down by itself. It continually assaults us with bouts of bathroom time and pain and works at compromising our levels of comfort, self-esteem, and dignity. It can be a life altering condition at best and a debilitating, ruthless , uncompromising life-destroying bitch at worst. In order to best prepare yourself for the battle ahead, arm yourself with the best forms of treatment.

I developed/acquired depression as kind of an extra bonus :::Sarcasm:::
After nearly losing my first born to a series of intestinal birth defects when he was was 11 days old, he was rushed to Childrens Hosp in Boston and lived in the N-ICU for the first six months of his life. Shortly after he came home, i was diagnosed with PTSD. I struggled with focus, depression and mood swings. I was prescribed two meds that did not work for me, but the third helped tremendously.

In March of this year, My trials with stomach issues began and my depression in turn increased. Interestingly, even with already having depression for 13years I did the same silly shit that many do, rationalizing it away, no need for more meds, etc... If you read some of my old posts you can see pretty readily that I was struggling a great deal. I was told diagnosed with severe clinical depression, and had my meds adjusted in turn and am doing pretty well.

I am more than simply my medical issues. I am a dad, a husband, and a friend. I am a competent professional, and have been a program manager, vocational counselor, job developer and have worked with people with physical and cognitive challenges for OVER 20 years. I do not shrink away if someone judges me, and have finally begun to learn to not judge myself too harshly. In fact more often than not, if someone were to label me as WINEY, CRAZY, OR WEAK, they may just get knocked on their ass.:ylol2:

Cheeky, please feel free to call on me if you need an ear of experience. I really hope that things start to turn around for you really soon. Take good care, and know that you can win this battle and feel better.
 

forum contributor

Captain Obvious
Cheeky,

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time :(

I've been struggling with depression since I was about 12 or 13. It got really bad when I was mid- to late-teens, and when I was 17, I was finally diagnosed and put on Wellbutrin. That has helped me a lot, but nothing is perfect. At times, I still want to to go back to my old self-destructive habits.

I remember feeling not so much sad... but maybe helpless? Hopeless? I don't think there was a real reason for me feeling that way that I could justify or put into words, it was just the way I felt. I also felt like I was nothing and no one cared about me.

Health problems do nothing to help the mind either, putting more strain and stress on the body and soul (like we need any more, right?).

It's not "just in your head," even though physiologically, it is. Don't listen to anyone who says you're just looking for sympathy or crazy, or whatever!!

As far as the panic attacks, I have those as well. I also have OCD and ADHD. So yes, I am a mess. But a drug-controlled mess LOL

And, like a typical person w/ADHD, I went off-track.

I basically just want to tell you that you're not crazy, please get help from a qualified dr (PCP, psychologist, psychiatrist, whomever!) if you feel comfortable enough to, and remember that we're all here for you.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want/need to talk.

Good luck, sweetie.
 
Jerman, thank you for your thoughtful and well written reply. you made many valid points.

i want to apologize if i made anyone feel like i'm associating depression with the stigma society has, ftr, my boyfriend (or ex whatever he is lol) is on an antidepressant and had a hard time with medication in the past while suffering from depression... i also work with persons who have developmental disabilities and in the past have worked with persons who have psychiatric disabilities...

but that doesn't mean i'm the most educated about depression.... when i remarked about not wanting to take medication, for those of you who've been familiar with my posts, you'll know that i'm just not a fan of medication in general. (if it wasn't for the crohn's symptoms being so severe, i would've went without meds, i'm currently on one prescription)...

i've also made posts when i'm actually going through emotional downs and need to vent or get support... so my wording isn't always the greatest, and i should know better.... so again, sorry if i made anyone feel bad if they're experiencing depression.

i guess i'm just confused because i have such drastic mood swings, and i do notice that these feelings are more intense when i'm flaring or have hormonal changes....

i've decided that i will mention it to my GI tomorrow, but what i'd like to do is get some more bloodwork and testing done to see what's going on with me, before i turn to any meds.... also, i'd rather continue to get support from my friends/those that care about me... .seems to make a HUGE difference when i have someone i trust present.
 
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Santos61198 said:
Cheeky,

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time :(

I've been struggling with depression since I was about 12 or 13. It got really bad when I was mid- to late-teens, and when I was 17, I was finally diagnosed and put on Wellbutrin. That has helped me a lot, but nothing is perfect. At times, I still want to to go back to my old self-destructive habits.

I remember feeling not so much sad... but maybe helpless? Hopeless? I don't think there was a real reason for me feeling that way that I could justify or put into words, it was just the way I felt. I also felt like I was nothing and no one cared about me.

Health problems do nothing to help the mind either, putting more strain and stress on the body and soul (like we need any more, right?).

It's not "just in your head," even though physiologically, it is. Don't listen to anyone who says you're just looking for sympathy or crazy, or whatever!!

As far as the panic attacks, I have those as well. I also have OCD and ADHD. So yes, I am a mess. But a drug-controlled mess LOL

And, like a typical person w/ADHD, I went off-track.

I basically just want to tell you that you're not crazy, please get help from a qualified dr (PCP, psychologist, psychiatrist, whomever!) if you feel comfortable enough to, and remember that we're all here for you.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want/need to talk.

Good luck, sweetie.
santos sincerely thank you. very kind words and i really appreciate it.
 
Cheeky if you want to avoid the medication route and get an idea of what might be going on there are a couple of things you can do. Go to a counselor and talk, perhaps talking about all the shit (ha!) you are dealing with will expose whether it's because of all the stuff you and we have to deal with every day, we all have a right to get sad/upset at times.

The other way is take what is called an MMPI (google it) it's a simple personality test. A psychologist then reviews the results and can assist you if something turns up. I think I've mentioned on the forums before, my mom has had really hardcore bipolar for gosh like 23 years(?) or so. She's on medication which takes care of it but she still talks to a counselor every couple months and is good to go now. Medication doesn't solve every problem we have for sure but knowing where your head is at always a good thing.

I'm continually amazed at the self-awareness of the folks on this board and know when to ask for help =)
 
drew thanks, those are great suggestions, i was thinking about the counselling but i didn't know about the MMPI thing.

update - last night i began to flare, and still am, fortunately i saw my new GI today (it's kinda eerie the way my symptoms basically stayed sort of in check/less severe for the past month and a half as if my body knew when my GI appt was)...

anyway, i didn't get to talk to him about all this stuff (though i mentioned feeling stressed and depressed but we didn't discuss it) because he was mainly concerned with my current symptoms that aren't looking good.

he said that i appear to have severe crohn's and i'm not responding well to my treatment or it's not enough right now.... so he wants to admit me to the hospital to do tests quickly and there may be the need for surgery (for my stricture)....

he also mentioned remicade...

i couldn't go in today because i have some stuff to organize, but he's booked a bed for me this Monday...if i feel worse before Monday, i have to go to emerg.


i'm scared... but i'm also becoming more stressed because i have a partner assignment due on Monday and worry my partner is gonna be annoyed.... hope my prof emails me soon and gives an extension.
 
cheeky said:
Jerman, thank you for your thoughtful and well written reply. you made many valid points.

i want to apologize if i made anyone feel like i'm associating depression with the stigma society has, ftr, my boyfriend (or ex whatever he is lol) is on an antidepressant and had a hard time with medication in the past while suffering from depression... i also work with persons who have developmental disabilities and in the past have worked with persons who have psychiatric disabilities...

but that doesn't mean i'm the most educated about depression.... when i remarked about not wanting to take medication, for those of you who've been familiar with my posts, you'll know that i'm just not a fan of medication in general. (if it wasn't for the crohn's symptoms being so severe, i would've went without meds, i'm currently on one prescription)...

i've also made posts when i'm actually going through emotional downs and need to vent or get support... so my wording isn't always the greatest, and i should know better.... so again, sorry if i made anyone feel bad if they're experiencing depression.

i guess i'm just confused because i have such drastic mood swings, and i do notice that these feelings are more intense when i'm flaring or have hormonal changes....

i've decided that i will mention it to my GI tomorrow, but what i'd like to do is get some more bloodwork and testing done to see what's going on with me, before i turn to any meds.... also, i'd rather continue to get support from my friends/those that care about me... .seems to make a HUGE difference when i have someone i trust present.
Hi Cheeky,

I am afraid I got a bit carried away with the whole stigma thing. That was the advocate in me coming out. I (obviously) have a bit of a pet peeve with people being treated as lesser beings because of a condition they may have.

Ahem....well it's a good thing I don't have any issues :::::SARCASM:::: to work through huh? I believe that I may have gotten just a TEENY bit self righteous there, and that was not my intent. I am sorry that I came off like that I truly didn't mean to.

It sounds like you are on the right track with leaning on friends and having some blood work done first. It is always smart to rule out physical causes before looking into meds. There really is no substitute for quality friends when times get challenging. There are some truly wonderful people on this forum as you well know, and I have been grateful for their advise, humor, and even for sharing their vulnerability. Each of these qualities when shared can help with regrouping or recharging when we feel a bit off.

Please feel free to contact me if I can ever be of any help. Often it is so helpful just to have someone who has been there. I would like to chat sometime about your work with people with people with challenges. Take good care.:smile:
 
Thanks Jerman, no worries, i totally got where you were coming from because i appreciate advocacy... it was important to say what you said. it's hard sometimes for us to get our tone across appropriately when we're just text on the screen.

thanks again for the support, and feel free to PM me if you wanna chat or have questions.

take care! :)
 
Hi all

I havent posted for a while as sometimes I try to run away from the factI have Crohns.

I know I definately suffer from depression and its not even so much to do with the coping of or how hard the disease is to handle.

It is actually a symtom of the Chrohns for me. For example - If I have a good week and not much D or pain then my concentration is good and my body is more harmonised. If I have a really bad week the physical symptoms are bad of course but I also experience mood swings, have a terrible temper and cant handle noise and cant face doing anything. It is like the bad toxins going through my body and I get agitated and really impatient and cant concentrate. For me this is the worst part of the disease for me.

This week im on Pred and although I still have pain I feel on top of the world and these mental symptoms are not there. It is just crazy. The last time I was on Pred I was a bit nuts.

Just thought Id share this and see what the rest of you think.
 
Hi Jool, I totally agree with what you said about feeling "off" physically impacting the whole package. In fact just today I made a bit of an ass off myself by snapping a bit while preparing for a family outing. I am physically uncomfortable this afternoon and I also am preparing to apologize when they come home because I was a pinhead. :voodoo: Welcome back to the forum Jool.
 
jooles6377 said:
This week im on Pred and although I still have pain I feel on top of the world and these mental symptoms are not there. It is just crazy. The last time I was on Pred I was a bit nuts.

yeah i know, it's weird, i was super awesome on pred (well until i began to taper to 10 mg i got some physical side effects but never any psychiatric ones)...

you would think that if we're depressed or have other mental health difficulties, there'd be a higher risk of the psychiatric side effects with pred... not that i'm a doctor, i just figure that would make sense.

i was very happy and energetic while on pred.... except for a bit of heart racing/anxiety at night... but it wasn't something i was concerned about.


thanks for sharing jooles!
 
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