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I feel very anxious and nervous every time when a medical appointment is coming.

Hi, i discover crohns march last year i passed easter in hospital, then in september i had to go to the hospital again and i miss my birthday. I care alot about this stuff, is when i feel very happy and the family is together. So is september again, almost my 22nd birthday on day 21. I have 2 doctors that are caring my crohns, a surgeon and a intestine doctor ( dont know the name in english ). Day 17 i go make blood test and day 21 i go to the surgeon(yay birthday day on the hospital). Im afraid he will say that blood is bad and want me to stay at the hospital again. Its always my fear, im still new and im going to start a 1 life oportunity course starting this month and really dont want to miss it because it can change my life and its my dream. I feel good, no pain, etc but my exam showed a small abscess that was threated with antibiotic and he saw the last blood test he told that "still has something". In october i go make a colonoscopy and go to the other doctor to see what he says. The intestine doctor want me to take a bit of intestine but my surgeon disagrees with him because im feeling good. I feel like my life is not going and is stopped because of crohns. I was a very anxious and nervous guy before crohns and now im alot more than i was. I really want to go to this course or i feel like if i dont go my life will be over and i will be depressed for a long time. When i feel im making something with my life i remeber how crohns can take it away from me easily. Just to mention what im taking 2x100mg azathioprine in the morning, after an hour a 1.5g salofalk with prolong effect. At night i take another 1.5g salofalk and a 15mg mirtazapine which for my anxious is doing nothing really i cant really sleep sometimes.

Sorry any errors and thanks for reading.

All good for you.
Well, it's my son that is battling Crohns, but I may have something that could help your anxiety. I am a fellow anxiety sufferer and have been GREATLY helped by the book Self Help for your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes. It's an old book, and can be found on Amazon. I wish I could give a copy to every anxiety sufferer out there! Best of luck to you!
I can totally understand even though I myself don't struggle with that so much normally but a good friend of mine does with his colitis.
I would recommend joining a self help group of people of the same age as you. Talking to someone who understands helps tremendously. At least for me it always does. They know what you are going through and they have an idea because they have gone through the same or the come up with an idea because they can imagine what now would be best.
Makes such a difference meeting someone than just typing etc. Would really look into that, I benefit a lot from it.