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I hope tomorrow will be better . . .

I really just need a little vent, nothing can be done to improve anything atm, it's just a matter of time. . . .
I'm pred cold turkey-cue night sweats, hungry but sicky, insomnia.
My symptoms are also returning due to being off the IV's, they're the only things that keep me under control.
I'm waiting for the go ahead to start my Aza, thats a worry, and it could take weeks to start working . . . .
I'm on my own, my folks are away and sometimes you just want your mummy right, nobody else will do!
My friends are trying but, I just want to sleep and cry, I'm not much fun!
Also, and I think this is the big one right now, I'd been seeing a guy, only for a few weeks, he knew about the CD, came to see me in the hospital at the weekend and everything. He got me ready for bed, brushed my teeth, snuggled me in, was just amazing, so understanding. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, he's stopped speaking to me . . . I can't help (bear in mind I feel vulnerable right now) thinking that its all about my CD, and if I didn't have this stupid disease it would be ok . . . I feel unattractive and useless and like finding a stone to hide under would be the best plan right now . . . .
Like I say, I think it will feel better tomorrow . . . . I hope it does.


Your Story Forum Monitor
I am so sorry you feel so rotten and you are all alone. I am glad you came on here to vent. Just let it all out. We know how you feel.

I am almost thirty, and when I am sick, I still want my mommy, too. No one can care for you like Mom. When are they due home?

If this boy stops talking to you because of your CD, well then, he wasn't worth your time anyways. But perhaps he is just giving you your space, so you can heal.

I hope you can start Aza soon, and you get some relief! Hang in there!
I am 47 and I still want my mommy! There is nothing like mommy leaning over and kissing your forehead.

Yep, what Jill said.
Thanks guys, it's reassuring to know I'm not alone in just wanting mummy!!
They're away until 12th. A trip of a lifetime for them. I would never deny them that, I'm so pleased they went!!
Today has felt a little brighter, I went outside :) and I did my eyebrows. They were todays challenges!!
We all need our mums sometimes even if we think we've grown out of it mines not with us any more and I still want my mum when I'm not well lol.
If this guy doesn't want to stick about because you have crohn's then he's not worth your time hopefully he is just giving you some space and time to heal up and start feeling better but if not dnt worry I'm sure there's someone special out there for you who will understand and stick with you through anything.
Hope you start feeling better soon :)


NOthing makes you feel better like doing your brows! If you can't feel good, look good - that's my motto!

As for the guy - who the hell knows what goes on in some people's brains? Sorry he made you feel bad, but just know that there are good ones out there. I promise!

- Amy