I have been struggling with crohns since I was 16, so 11 years now. You would think I would have it down by now.. ha.
Ever since I got diagnosed I had a problem with accepting it. I was in denial so when I would start feeling better I'd go off my meds and pretend that I was just as healthy as everyone else- doing, eating, drinking- just as everyone around me did. I bet you can only imagine how ridiculous college was. Such a struggle- I didn't care. I was sooo stubborn to be and to do what all my friends were doing. Because of this, I'm 27 with an ostomy. I almost died. I am still hoping that one day I can be reconnected but because I am so unhealthy the doctors say that they might have to make it permanent because it will enhance my quality of life. I'm on cimza, flagyl and cipro. I feel like crap all the time.
I love bartending, I love singing and creating music in bands... the culture that I am used to doesn't really jive with the "healthy" lifestyle. I am trying to change. It's just hard because I feel like no one understands, which is probably why I try to act and be like everyone else's "normal". People don't understand the social stigma as well as the lack of energy. I want to do everything.. I just can't and it sucks. Peoples' judgements have always effected me. If there is anyone out there with the same mental struggles because of all the physical stuff, it would be nice to know I'm not alone. When I look back, I feel maybe that's why I acted so recklessly.
fistulizing perianal crohn's, ostomy, abscesses, anemia, nausea, fatigue, setons, etc.
Ever since I got diagnosed I had a problem with accepting it. I was in denial so when I would start feeling better I'd go off my meds and pretend that I was just as healthy as everyone else- doing, eating, drinking- just as everyone around me did. I bet you can only imagine how ridiculous college was. Such a struggle- I didn't care. I was sooo stubborn to be and to do what all my friends were doing. Because of this, I'm 27 with an ostomy. I almost died. I am still hoping that one day I can be reconnected but because I am so unhealthy the doctors say that they might have to make it permanent because it will enhance my quality of life. I'm on cimza, flagyl and cipro. I feel like crap all the time.
I love bartending, I love singing and creating music in bands... the culture that I am used to doesn't really jive with the "healthy" lifestyle. I am trying to change. It's just hard because I feel like no one understands, which is probably why I try to act and be like everyone else's "normal". People don't understand the social stigma as well as the lack of energy. I want to do everything.. I just can't and it sucks. Peoples' judgements have always effected me. If there is anyone out there with the same mental struggles because of all the physical stuff, it would be nice to know I'm not alone. When I look back, I feel maybe that's why I acted so recklessly.
fistulizing perianal crohn's, ostomy, abscesses, anemia, nausea, fatigue, setons, etc.