I feel extraordinarily stupid and vain and selfish and immature.
The day I got diagnosed, my dr gave me an rx for prednisone. I told him I wanted to wait until the biopsy was back, so I know for sure. When I got the biopsy back, my other dr (assistant professor of medicine, IBD clinic, ooh lala) gave me an rx for imuran and pred. I express my deeeeep concern for the side effects of pred. He asked me if I was generally a moody, or angry person. Holy mother, yes I am. I have the worst temper of anyone I know. He explained to me that pred will pretty much magnify this in me. I'm already dealing with that, due to my birth control. It makes me craaazy. He actually told my boyfriend that he needed to be very, very careful around me while I'm on pred. I asked him if I HAD to do the treatment, and he said unfortunately, my crohn's is so severe that if I don't do the treatment, the next step is surgery and a bag. So here's my pickle.
During this flare-up, I have lost a pretty large amount of weight. I have always struggled with my weight, always. I really love my body right now, even though its the product of disease. I know steroids make youu gain weight in most cases. I feel like I'm being really vain and immature about this, because I haven't started the treatment yet. I'm also terrified of vomit. It's probably the worst thing that can happen to me, in my eyes. And he told me imuran sometimes makes you nauseaus and pukey. I'm facing a really big decision at the moment. Do I go on the treatment plan, possibly ruining my body, my mind and my relationship? Or do I figure out another way to deal to deal with it? The side effects aren't the only reason I'm not taking them yet. The dr also gave me an rx for entocort, because apparently it has less side effects. But entocort is very expensive, and I don't have medical insurance. I've applied for it, but it takes three months to take effect.
I know what most of you are going to say. Take the damn drugs and deal with it. I'm probably going to. I'm just trying to grow the balls to do it.
On another note, I am taking percocet for the pain, which, as you know, makes you constipated. It was nice at first, because the diarrhea stopped, but then it stopped altogether. Fearing an obstruction, I stopped for a couple days. I just sat on the toilet for half an hour, passing a 5 pound shit baby. It was literally as big (length and width) as my forearm. I am in so much pain. And I have a wedding to go to today. I'm considering buying one of those inflatable donuts. Dear lord.
The day I got diagnosed, my dr gave me an rx for prednisone. I told him I wanted to wait until the biopsy was back, so I know for sure. When I got the biopsy back, my other dr (assistant professor of medicine, IBD clinic, ooh lala) gave me an rx for imuran and pred. I express my deeeeep concern for the side effects of pred. He asked me if I was generally a moody, or angry person. Holy mother, yes I am. I have the worst temper of anyone I know. He explained to me that pred will pretty much magnify this in me. I'm already dealing with that, due to my birth control. It makes me craaazy. He actually told my boyfriend that he needed to be very, very careful around me while I'm on pred. I asked him if I HAD to do the treatment, and he said unfortunately, my crohn's is so severe that if I don't do the treatment, the next step is surgery and a bag. So here's my pickle.
During this flare-up, I have lost a pretty large amount of weight. I have always struggled with my weight, always. I really love my body right now, even though its the product of disease. I know steroids make youu gain weight in most cases. I feel like I'm being really vain and immature about this, because I haven't started the treatment yet. I'm also terrified of vomit. It's probably the worst thing that can happen to me, in my eyes. And he told me imuran sometimes makes you nauseaus and pukey. I'm facing a really big decision at the moment. Do I go on the treatment plan, possibly ruining my body, my mind and my relationship? Or do I figure out another way to deal to deal with it? The side effects aren't the only reason I'm not taking them yet. The dr also gave me an rx for entocort, because apparently it has less side effects. But entocort is very expensive, and I don't have medical insurance. I've applied for it, but it takes three months to take effect.
I know what most of you are going to say. Take the damn drugs and deal with it. I'm probably going to. I'm just trying to grow the balls to do it.
On another note, I am taking percocet for the pain, which, as you know, makes you constipated. It was nice at first, because the diarrhea stopped, but then it stopped altogether. Fearing an obstruction, I stopped for a couple days. I just sat on the toilet for half an hour, passing a 5 pound shit baby. It was literally as big (length and width) as my forearm. I am in so much pain. And I have a wedding to go to today. I'm considering buying one of those inflatable donuts. Dear lord.