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Intimacy issues with ostomy bags

Share your experiences.
How do you cope?
Issues with intimacy? I know I have.
 

merrywidow

mum with a dogdy tum
intimate issues are in the lounge.
my illeostomy is ok and i wouldnt be without it, its the best thing i have ever had done.
the first 3 months were a bit rough though.
sharon xx
 
Best thing you've ever had done? Really? Were things that bad?
I must admit, I'm getting used to it being there now. Don't know if that's good or bad. I guess, I'm just not worrying about it so much.
 
hey andy i didnt know you had an ostomy!
since when?

i had my surgery done on april 7th.
as far as intimacy...havent had any of those experiences yet. a) broke up with bf shortly before surg. and b) still too sick to even go out and hang out with other people.

as far as coping, well im getting used to it. im still having complications from surgery though, so im still in a frusterated stage where i wish it would all jsut go away. if the complications werent a factor, then i would for sure be back on my feet and back to work and think it was easy peasy. when it comes to the little stoma and pouch itself, that part doesnt bother me too much and its the easiest of what im going through right now. i even have grown to like my little nubber on my side :)
and the fact that it eliminates the excruciating pain i went through to have a BM before, and eliminates the 4+ hours a day spent in the bathroom, and eliminates crapping my pants if i wasnt within 3 feet of a toilet, well.....its gonna be a big help for me.
just am not quite there yet cause of all the other stuff.
 

merrywidow

mum with a dogdy tum
things were really bad before i had fred (my stoma) i couldnt go out, i had a small child and i couldnt take him to the park . even at home i sometimes couldnt makee it to the loo in time. the pain and bleeding and smell was unforgettable.
i have been offered a reversal using a pig bowel. but i dont want to go back to the old days of cra**ing myself.
once i got used to "fred" and his routine then i never looked back. as i said its the best thing that couldve happened to me.
sex is ok as long as you are comfatable with your stoma and dont worry about it. make sure you empty it before though!!!
sharon xx
 
Hey, Kelly. Yeah, I've had it for about 8 months :/ Don't normally talk about it.
Sex is ok for me. I'm getting it regularly at the min (wink, wink) but I always keep my top on. My 'partner' knows I have issues with my body. But doesn't know the exact details.

And Sharon, you called it 'Fred'? Haha, that is awesome :)
What is a 'pig bowel'?
 
8 months ok.
well, maybe here would be a good place to start talking and being open about it? this forum is the reason that i was able to open up to my close friends. after 10 years of hiding i finally told them all what the exact deal is and even went so far as to tell them about my issues with my butt and having surgery there. NEVER before would i do that. i was so embarrassed that i had been having butt surgeries.
starting to talk in one place helps you to be more open in the other areas of your life. well, it did for me at least. i hope that it would work the same way for you
 
Well, I've never had problems talking about it on the web. Which is one of the reasons I love online support groups :) I've even got pics up.
I just don't fancy bringing it up in an open conversation in my life, though. Don't see the point at this time.
And I love how you say "butt". So American. Haha ;)
 
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