- Location
- Bremerton, WA
I've been really struggling with what I think might be depression and maybe anxiety on top of everything that comes with having Crohn's Disease. I'm also currently taking classes at the University of Idaho, studying architecture, something I've wanted to do all my life. In the past year or so, I've been depressed on and off, but it's noticeably worse when I'm in school, and I've also had a segment of my intestine removed in January after struggling with an abscess and fistula which had me in and out of the hospital for several months.
I feel like I'm getting a bit better from a social angle, as a couple of months ago, I had no self-identity and was fearing every single social situation, but now I'm starting to have a bit more fun with life. This is my fourth year of school, but due to health concerns, I'm still taking second year classes and am still falling behind. In high school I was on top of everything and was able to do really well, even in tough AP classes. But now that I'm in college, I just can't seem to get myself motivated. I put off homework all the time and when I finally get to it (usually well past the due date) it still takes a ridiculous amount of mental discipline to start, let alone finish. I am usually a slow starter, and historically I'm a procrastinator, but it's never gotten to the point where I can't bring myself to do it. It's not that I don't care, because I've been EXTREMELY anxious and bothered by the fact that I'm falling behind, I just can't bring myself to do it for who knows why.
I did go through a breakup recently and it had a pretty profound emotional effect on me (and still does because I see her fairly frequently) but I don't really know if that has much to do with it. I really can't afford (financially, emotionally) to just stop classes and my family is more of a hindrance than a help. I'm not sure what's going on, because I worked all summer and loved it and I feel like I'm starting to get some of my mental health back... I just don't know...
I feel like I'm getting a bit better from a social angle, as a couple of months ago, I had no self-identity and was fearing every single social situation, but now I'm starting to have a bit more fun with life. This is my fourth year of school, but due to health concerns, I'm still taking second year classes and am still falling behind. In high school I was on top of everything and was able to do really well, even in tough AP classes. But now that I'm in college, I just can't seem to get myself motivated. I put off homework all the time and when I finally get to it (usually well past the due date) it still takes a ridiculous amount of mental discipline to start, let alone finish. I am usually a slow starter, and historically I'm a procrastinator, but it's never gotten to the point where I can't bring myself to do it. It's not that I don't care, because I've been EXTREMELY anxious and bothered by the fact that I'm falling behind, I just can't bring myself to do it for who knows why.
I did go through a breakup recently and it had a pretty profound emotional effect on me (and still does because I see her fairly frequently) but I don't really know if that has much to do with it. I really can't afford (financially, emotionally) to just stop classes and my family is more of a hindrance than a help. I'm not sure what's going on, because I worked all summer and loved it and I feel like I'm starting to get some of my mental health back... I just don't know...